Smacking your child in public

[Tess.ie]

That is illegal in NZ and that parent would be prosecuted.

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I personally don't agree with smacking as a discipline but maybe like PP have said she lost him and just panicked. Sometimes you are so overcome with worry that you act without thinking.

I don't really understand why her doing it in public is such an issue. If you disagree with smacking surely it would upset you wither it is in public or private? It makes no difference to the boy, he is still being hit either way.

The issue is for me is that it wasn't just one smack but a series of smacks in 2 goes. If she's comfortable doing that in public infront of strangers then what does she do behind closed doors?

To be honest I don't agree with this. My kids acting up in front of strangers bothers me a lot more than acting up at home. So, though I wouldn't smack them like that, I have yelled at Toby in public for misbehaving and it was probably more than I would have yelled at him at home. And again if it was out of anger panic then she would probably not have acted this way at home. It could still have been a series of smacks and be panic, she could have just lost it a bit and what the OP said snapped her out of her little haze she was in.

But to OP, I'd probably be horrified to see it and though I would make a snap judgement about it, and her doing it in front of other children would horrify me, I would probably think I have no idea what's happened, especially if she wasn't speaking English. If he had wandered off it could be that they were on holiday or something and this little boy would've easily gotten lost and didn't know his way round I would panic and though I don't think I'd react like that I think all rationality would escape me x

 

[beanie1978]

I've never smacked my children age 8 ( twins) . Smacking is done out of anger and loss of control on the parents part. I'm sure if u asked a parent if they would call there child to them and tell the I'm going to smack you for doing xyz in a cool carm manner 90% of parents would never do this. This is not to say I have never lossed my temper and said thing I wish I never.

 

[Noelle610]

That is illegal in NZ and that parent would be prosecuted.

Wow, really?

I very, very much disagree with smacking or spanking of any kind, but it strikes me as extreme to prosecute a parent for a smack on the bum.

That said, I'm in the US where corporal punishment is still very prominent in many parts of our country. Totally different culture to western Europe, etc. I understand.

 

[alicecooper]

I smacked DD in the supermarket this evening. Just one short smack on the butt - she didn't cry or anything, it wasn't to hurt her.

I'd absolutely had enough. DS3 was wailing his head off, DS2 was whinging like mad because he wanted out of the trolley, and DD and DS1 were winding each other up. So after being told repeatedly to behave, DD decided to elbow DS1 in the head. So she got a smack, simple really. She was warned it would happen and chose to carry on regardless. She's nearly 8 so well old enough to take some responsibility for her actions.

It's very rare I smack the kids though and when I do it's never hard.

 

[Noelle610]

I smacked DD in the supermarket this evening. Just one short smack on the butt - she didn't cry or anything, it wasn't to hurt her.

I'd absolutely had enough. DS3 was wailing his head off, DS2 was whinging like mad because he wanted out of the trolley, and DD and DS1 were winding each other up. So after being told repeatedly to behave, DD decided to elbow DS1 in the head. So she got a smack, simple really. She was warned it would happen and chose to carry on regardless. She's nearly 8 so well old enough to take some responsibility for her actions.

It's very rare I smack the kids though and when I do it's never hard.

Out of genuine couriosity though, do you think smacking a kid who elbowed her brother helps to teach her why physical force isn't appropriate/right?

 

[RoxieHart]

Personally I disagree with physical punishment of children, like smacking etc, but each to thier own I guess. However if I saw a parent going what I deemed as too far in a public place I would deffo say something!!

 

[randomrach]

If she would have done that here then no doubt someone would have reported her and she would of had the book thrown at her. Any hitting towards children here is illegal no matter what the reason is (don't think there ever is a good reason to hit a child).

It is also illegal here in the UK I believe. I actually would have mentioned that to the mother, although she probably already knows and warned that she appears quite violent and people viewing her actions in a public place may assume this is how she's punishes the child regularly and it could lead to her being reported to the police. I know I would assume myself that smacking repeatedly is how she punishes her child and be concerned about how she behaves in her own home. I don't see myself smacking my child as a punishment, I don't think I achieves anything other than teaching a behaviour that you don't want them to learn. If my child had wandered off I would be frantic and worked up*but also relieved to find her, it happens sometimes- children get distracted and get left behind, then they panic and go looking for their parents, as a mother it is ultimately your job to make sure your child is with you (I do understand it still can happen) I'd be more angry at myself.

 

[doggylover]

I was smacked as a child, and probably will smack my LO (to me there is a huge difference between a smack and a hit) if I catch them doing something dangerous, to startle them and give them a negative association with that dangerous action.

BUT I do not agree that what the person did is acceptable. Sounds like she hurt the child which is not right at all.

 

[kmbabycrazy]

If she would have done that here then no doubt someone would have reported her and she would of had the book thrown at her. Any hitting towards children here is illegal no matter what the reason is (don't think there ever is a good reason to hit a child).

It is also illegal here in the UK I believe. I actually would have mentioned that to the mother, although she probably already knows and warned that she appears quite violent and people viewing her actions in a public place may assume this is how she's punishes the child regularly and it could lead to her being reported to the police. I know I would assume myself that smacking repeatedly is how she punishes her child and be concerned about how she behaves in her own home. I don't see myself smacking my child as a punishment, I don't think I achieves anything other than teaching a behaviour that you don't want them to learn. If my child had wandered off I would be frantic and worked up*but also relieved to find her, it happens sometimes- children get distracted and get left behind, then they panic and go looking for their parents, as a mother it is ultimately your job to make sure your child is with you (I do understand it still can happen) I'd be more angry at myself.

As far as I'm aware (don't quote me on this as it's only what I have been told, the it was by a law teacher) smacking in the uk is legal so long as it does not mark or redden the skin.

 

[Gem0412]

If she would have done that here then no doubt someone would have reported her and she would of had the book thrown at her. Any hitting towards children here is illegal no matter what the reason is (don't think there ever is a good reason to hit a child).

It is also illegal here in the UK I believe. I actually would have mentioned that to the mother, although she probably already knows and warned that she appears quite violent and people viewing her actions in a public place may assume this is how she's punishes the child regularly and it could lead to her being reported to the police. I know I would assume myself that smacking repeatedly is how she punishes her child and be concerned about how she behaves in her own home. I don't see myself smacking my child as a punishment, I don't think I achieves anything other than teaching a behaviour that you don't want them to learn. If my child had wandered off I would be frantic and worked up*but also relieved to find her, it happens sometimes- children get distracted and get left behind, then they panic and go looking for their parents, as a mother it is ultimately your job to make sure your child is with you (I do understand it still can happen) I'd be more angry at myself.

As far as I'm aware (don't quote me on this as it's only what I have been told, the it was by a law teacher) smacking in the uk is legal so long as it does not mark or redden the skin.

The force that was behind it would've reddened my butt I'm sure

 

[AC1987]

I don't think she shoulda smacked her 3 year old repeatedly like that, however I think just a stern voice coulda worked. Sometimes I find raising your voice can work. I was spanked as a kid, not sure how well it worked on me though

 

[alicecooper]

I smacked DD in the supermarket this evening. Just one short smack on the butt - she didn't cry or anything, it wasn't to hurt her.

I'd absolutely had enough. DS3 was wailing his head off, DS2 was whinging like mad because he wanted out of the trolley, and DD and DS1 were winding each other up. So after being told repeatedly to behave, DD decided to elbow DS1 in the head. So she got a smack, simple really. She was warned it would happen and chose to carry on regardless. She's nearly 8 so well old enough to take some responsibility for her actions.

It's very rare I smack the kids though and when I do it's never hard.

Out of genuine couriosity though, do you think smacking a kid who elbowed her brother helps to teach her why physical force isn't appropriate/right?

There's a big difference between a smack on the butt (a soft cushioned part of the body) and an elbow to the head.
She is fully aware of how delicate the head area is and how dangerous a blow to the head can be. She has been told it often enough.
An elbow is bony and hard - she knew it was dangerous to elbow somebody in the head.

She didn't get a smack because of using physical force - she got it because she did something dangerous.
If she had done something less dangerous - smacked his arm or something for example, I'd have given her a telling off.
But for dangerous things like that I do give a smack because I want the child to be seriously put off doing it again.

Obviously it goes without saying that I wouldn't smack a child too young to fully understand that what they did was dangerous.

 

[beth_terri]

I don't smack full stop. I'm glad you said something op. THiS IS WHY I ALWAYS PUT MY CHILDREN IN A TROLLEY! No matter how much Logan (4) doesn't want to go in the trolley he goes in so I don't have the worry of him wandering off!

I work in a supermarket and we see all sorts of parenting :/

Oops sorry, retail park not supermarket. Regardless, she shouldn't have repeatedly smacked her child for wandering off. It was her responsibility to keep him by her side! He's just a child!

 

[ellismum]

I don't smack full stop. I'm glad you said something op. THiS IS WHY I ALWAYS PUT MY CHILDREN IN A TROLLEY! No matter how much Logan (4) doesn't want to go in the trolley he goes in so I don't have the worry of him wandering off!

I work in a supermarket and we see all sorts of parenting :/

Oops sorry, retail park not supermarket. Regardless, she shouldn't have repeatedly smacked her child for wandering off. It was her responsibility to keep him by her side! He's just a child!

Me too, Ellis is a fearless wondered and on the rare occasion we take him, he's in the trolly.

Talking of seeing all sorts if parenting. You want to sit in my garden! One mum is always f-ing at her kids and yesterday in a different house I heard a man call his 3 year a f-ing ******** *******! The there's the family behind me who let their kids (all primary school ages) run riot until 10pm outside and spends most the next morning shouting at them to get out of bed for school.

 

[ellismum]

Gah, word filter! Just proves how disgusting it was!!!

 

[DittyByrd]

Presenting my less popular opinion: Sounds like that mom got very carried away. Spanks, if used as discipline, should not be repeated over and over with screaming.

My DH and I have discussed spanking as we were both minimally spanked as kids. I believe it shouldn't actually hurt physically but perhaps cause embarrassment enough to prevent the behavior (that's how it was done for me) but my husband said his spankings hurt and therefore he didn't want to spank.

I honestly am not sure what we will do. It will 100% depend on my LOs currency. I am more about punishment/time out/taking away toys/etc. But if my LO was repeatedly running in the street or running away from me and she didn't respond to the aforementioned punishment, something a little stricter might be used to get her attention.

 

[Tess.ie]

That is illegal in NZ and that parent would be prosecuted.

Wow, really?

I very, very much disagree with smacking or spanking of any kind, but it strikes me as extreme to prosecute a parent for a smack on the bum.

That said, I'm in the US where corporal punishment is still very prominent in many parts of our country. Totally different culture to western Europe, etc. I understand.

Yep, they changed/made the law a few years ago. I suppose it is extreme, but NZ has fairly bad child abuse stats so any violence towards a child is prohibited.

 

[Katy Bug]

I'm not against spanking and if one wants to do it in public that's their deal. I'd probably smack my kid too if he did intentionally, but if they don't know what they did they don't deserve it.

 

[cookette]

I was spanked as a child and may use it on my own someday, depending the circumstances. It was more to make a memory on me and an association, i dont remmeber anything really hurting, just being more emabrassed than anything. It was only 2 or 3 times that I can recall....and I remembered what it was for! (Once I ran out into the street infront of a truck, despite mom repeatedly telling me to tone down on a walk home from the store, and the second time I viciously bit my brother on the arm after mom told us to quit the fighting in the backseat. )

I felt I deserved it. Will play it by ear with my own, but I disagree with a lot of the over-coddling everyone-gets-a-trophy mentality type of parenting. Im likely the minority.

I think it goes without saying theres a line between beating your child and a smack on the hind end.