So angry

[JessicaaJadex]

I'm so angry at what has happened recently, I could literally cry.

Last night I was talking to OH about general stuff when we got onto the subject of 'baby'. His mood changed in an instant, and we began to argue pretty bad. He told me I was a liar and accused me of all kinds of things.

He then went on to call me every name under the sun, which I won't repeat on here. Yes it was that bad!

But what hit me the hardest was when he then told me that "this relationship is forced and I can't be F'ed" and said that I should get an abortion before things go wrong. I'm just shocked he has waited until now to tell me. I asked him whether he wanted any involvement with me and his child, or whether he even loved me (we've been together over 2 years). He told me that he won't answer to me and we haven't spoken since.

I don't know what to do about all of this, I just didn't realise he could be so nasty. Sorry to rant I just needed to get it off my chest!

 

[teenmommy15]

He's obviously not a good influence on your child and doesnt want anything to do with you guys and you dont need that kind of stress i suggest your break things off with them and take care of this baby on your own. Its not his decision weather you keep the baby or not and obviously he's not ready to be a dad and will only complicate and make things much harder for you. Keep us updated and good luck i hope he turns around.

 

[skyesmom]

hon he's just scared as a shit, the reality of becoming a father just scared a shit out of him. it happens to ALL men, even ones who have tried for years to become fathers. it is just that when the news sit in, all these questions and doubts come up, if you're good enough to be a good parent, can u do it, how can u pull it out economically and so on. and it can be overwhelming for even the best of men.

still, this doesn't mean that every guy who shits his pants actually acts out of that fear - but there are some who do. one or two breakdowns like this are fine, i am sure he'll come around and be pretty damn ashamed of himself and want both u and the baby back.
it's wrong to stress out a pregnant woman like that... but if there's one thing i've learned through being pregnant myself and watching my friends become parents, too is this: women are soooo much stronger then men in general. Pregnant women are the strongest beings on the planet. which is exactly why men don't give birth, we do. even though pregnancy can be tough both physically, emotionally and mentally, and you go through such a massive physical and emotional change, and your hormones are driving you crazy - those same hormones are giving you strength beyond any means to face it all and be able to do everything for your baby, also the impossible.

so of course, take into consideration that your OH also has his nasty side, but try to take it for what it is: him crumbling down under the overwhelming weight of his fears. he'll come around.... and then you decide what is the best for you and your baby.

 

[baby9]

I agree with sykesmom. He is just scared and while it isn't right for him to act like this, he doesn't know how else to cope.
When I found out I was pregnant, it was OH who was supportive and it was ME who was freaking out. Ibdidn't say anything as bad as what you've mentioned, but I definitely upset my OH on a number of ocassions. He will more than likely come around. If not then hopefully you will have family to support you. Good luck

 

[xforuiholdonx]

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Yeah I suppose it's hard for him to adjust to things, just not nice the way he's spoken to me recently. I did try and post quotes of what he'd said to me, but the language was that bad, the administrator wouldn't allow it (and i tried it twice too!).

I'm just giving him his space right now, and hopefully he'll come around soon enough. At the end of the day I cant exactly force him to be involved in our lives, lets just hope he sees some sense sooner rather than later!

Thank you for letting me vent!

 

[ClairAye]

I hope he comes around
I agree that it is a hard time for dads too, not condoning what he did, but men don't understand pregnancy and they sure as hell don't understand how to express themselves properly!

Hope you can sort things out

 

[kailynn]

Even though there is no way for me to justify him being rude, he does sound frightened! Men tend to take the news a bit differently than us, and it's harder for them to wrap their heads around. With that said, I would sit him down and talk, and establish the fact that he cannot continue to call you names, etc, because he needs to be a good influence onyour lo and calling you names is defintely not acceptable behaviour for a child to be around.

Good luck, hun. I hope everything works out

 

[17pregnant]

There is no excuse for him to be like that and you don't deserve it whatever happens next, if you work it out, he needs to know that it is not ok to treat you like that, and you understand this is scary but you two need to work through it together! I should think after being with you for 2+ years this wouldn't happen. I hope it all works out x

 

[jozylynn896]

Same thing happened with my oh. Itold my mom and she told honey men like being treated like sh.t and told what to do.
So one-day my oh screamed i shouldjust have an abortion and he wanted no involvement. While normally i would just sit there amd cry, i screamed at him to shut the fuck up ans that he has no fucking choice in any thing.. he was tgere for me everyday for my pregnancy.
Idk if thatll work, but it did for me.

 

[JessicaaJadex]

Same thing happened with my oh. Itold my mom and she told honey men like being treated like sh.t and told what to do.
So one-day my oh screamed i shouldjust have an abortion and he wanted no involvement. While normally i would just sit there amd cry, i screamed at him to shut the fuck up ans that he has no fucking choice in any thing.. he was tgere for me everyday for my pregnancy.
Idk if thatll work, but it did for me.

Hahaha I might just have to try that! I think that's about the only thing I haven't done so far, I'm too soft which clearly isn't working!

Thanks ladies for your support, I'm just giving him some space to just process everything and calm down. Sometimes we forget that men have emotions because they never show it!

 

[justhoping]

hey im sorry he puts you through this...sometimes even grown 40 yr old men flip out with being scared...its a man thing...we as women dont show it but they just explode for some reason and think its fine..
it sounds like he is scared..i would back off and let things sink in..what he is said was definitly not fair to you but i do believe given sometime he will calm down, think things through and come around expecially since you been together so long...

 

[HeatherLTBee]

Wow. He's immature.

I can't imagine being in your shoes dear.
Hold on, things can only get better from here.

 

[jozylynn896]

I realize now how shit my advice is. Lol. It could only go one of two ways tho, right?

Havr things with him gotten better. Sometimes as women when we see men also getting scared we think,why is he scared? He doesn't have to puke, carry a baby, have a big belly, etc. But they get just as scared as we do.
I know. Men have emotions? ! Lol.

 

[JessicaaJadex]

No your advice worked.. Sort of! I stood my ground and told him that he needs to think about the way he speaks to me before he even says a word, and normally if he's nasty I just go along with it, but I think my 'bitchy' hormones have kicked in because I realised I actually don't have to take his crap and have fought back!

He's backed off a little now, but is still adamant on me having an abortion (which will never happen). I've told him that I've made my decision and that I'm sticking too it, and now I think he's just trying to take it all in. I hope he can come around to the idea soon, because I really don't want this to break us apart. And men say women are complicated!

 

[justhoping]

No your advice worked.. Sort of! I stood my ground and told him that he needs to think about the way he speaks to me before he even says a word, and normally if he's nasty I just go along with it, but I think my 'bitchy' hormones have kicked in because I realised I actually don't have to take his crap and have fought back!

He's backed off a little now, but is still adamant on me having an abortion (which will never happen). I've told him that I've made my decision and that I'm sticking too it, and now I think he's just trying to take it all in. I hope he can come around to the idea soon, because I really don't want this to break us apart. And men say women are complicated!

men are from venus women are from mars..heh! LOL men are from a total other solar system!! LOL