So angry!!

[AK89]

I'm actually pretty ashamed of myself.. I don't normally let myself sink to the lows of getting involved in arguments with people I don't know on the internet but I've been sucked in!!

My dad tagged me in an article from the MEN about a woman who was told she would have to cover up if she wanted to breastfeed in the restaurant she had just walked into. Then I started to read the comments... biggest mistake I've made in a long time! They made me so angry! In fact I've been seething about it for the latter part of the day! I wish I could have just risen above it a while ago but I can't stop going back on and reading what people have said in response to me and seeing how many more people had posted disapproving comments saying things like "I'm sick of self righteous mothers commandeering whole areas of bars/restaurants and letting their brats run amok" and "They should be made to go and feed in the toilets!" What annoyed me the most was probably fellow breastfeeding mums saying they "choose not to feed in public as it's disrespectful to other people" and "when I breastfeed I cover up and sit in a corner facing the wall "! Seriously, I knew there were a lot of idiots out there but I didn't know there were so many! I've not heard so many backwards opinions in one place in a long time. One person even said "as if that many people even breastfeed these days anyway, most people bottle feed cos it's easier!" Yeah.. sure.. breastfeeding is such a thing of the past! And SO MANY people were like "can't you just express some into a bottle and feed them that when you're in public?" which particularly hit a nerve as I've been struggling for the last 2 months to get my LO to feed from the bottle!

I'm just really wound up And to make matters worse I've fallen out with my OH 'cause I've told him I won't get him cigarettes from the shop anymore 'cause I don't want to aid him killing himself (!) and he's taken the huff AND I was in another conversation with one girl I kinda know and another I don't about BF in public (just coincidence) and I told them about my nursing cover I've got for feeding in public 'cause they were both saying they don't feel comfortable with it and it makes them nervous, and one of them turns round and says "well my baby doesn't like being covered while he's eating, and why should he? I wouldn't like it. So I won't be buying one of those" which just made me feel even more shit! I was only giving her an idea cos a lot of BF mums don't even know about them and mine's a lifesaver cos I used to be a bit self conscious about it too..

BLAH just feeling a bit crap and under attack!

 

[JoHio]

I feel your pain. I consider myself a compassionate and reasonable person, but sometimes when people complain about nursing mom's, I want to not-so-tactfully point our that if they forgot where they came from, I can show them.

So rude, I know, and not very classy; and Lord knows I've never actually said it, but the point is there is nothing gross about birth or nursing or a mother's body when it comes to caring for her children.

 

[shinona]

Step away from the internet, my love! That's my only advice. Those idiotic comments really drive me mad too and I have got sucked into arguments before. But honestly, in real life I've never had anyone make a negative comment or ask me to move while feeding so I try to remember that my life is unaffected by people on the internet I'll thankfully never meet.
As for your hubby, good for you taking a stand.
Xx

 

[smoore]

I wouldn't feel crappy about wanting to use a cover! I plan on using a cover in public. I am not comfortable myself with taking my breast out in public without a cover. That is completely a personal choice. People who don't want to be judged for not using a cover shouldn't throw a stone at people who want to use a cover.

Parenting is hard enough without moms judging each other!

 

[squirrel.]

Sorry. Posted in wrong thread.

 

[bitethebullet]

Oh yes. I think I know the story you are talking about. A journalist (a mother who actually breastfed for a time) actually wrote a comment piece about it saying that she agreed with the restaurant and that if you want to breastfeed you shouldn't do it in a 5 star restaurant (she actually compared breastfeeding in public to having sex in public!!!!!). Argh the whole thing had me raging.

 

[apple_20]

I think people need to breastfeed in public more and make it more 'normal' I feel sorry for those who feel like they can't /shouldn't.

The only comment I ever had in real life was when baby was tiny and I tried to use a cover and a lady said loudly 'I was wondering why she had that scarf their but she's breastfeeding' lol no one notices now when I do the two top approach.

As for comments on the internet sure make your comment but then walk away they aren't worth it!

 

[honey915]

Comments like that are fuelled by ignorance. I have been defending breastfeeding to my OH also as his mother bottle fed so all he hears is how breastfed babies apparently don't sleep well and I should dwitch cause I fed DS till he was 2... then... DD is born and basically sleeps through the night as is... you guessed it BREASTFED... proof that the bottle is no better and funilly enough very little has been mentioned about bottles since I told MIL DD sleeps through and is only 9 weeks and has since she was basically born. Its all down to luck... not food!!! Plus mine rarely get ill either so I think ive finally won OH over!!

 

[wifey29]

I point blank refuse to read stories or comments like that now, after finding myself getting far to angry about it all. People can be very ignorant and often down right rude. The only time I can't ignore it is when my own DH tells me that the reason DS2 is sleeping crapply is because he's not bottle fed, even though every bad sleep patch has been due to teeth/sickness or most recently chicken pox. In any case DS1 was prescription formula fed and he's still a crap sleeper. Sorry, went off on a tangent there! There is something fundamentally wrong with a society that condemns breastfeeding. Can't get my head around it.

 

[mara16jade]

I would never just plop my boob out in public and feed my baby, but I do use a cover. Personally I don't like the idea of showing too much skin and possibly revealing myself in public if my baby comes off the breast or gets distracted. I will always use a cover and sit on the side for privacy. The last thing I want is to be stared at or LO plays peek-a-boo under the cover and I flash a bunch of people. lol Nope. Covers are perfectly fine with me.