So confused - newly single with a 10 month old girl and 8 weeks pregnant!

[pinkbump1]

Hi all,

I am in a sticky situation and my head is battered. I was with my ex partner (baby girls and bump's daddy) for 4 years we had our little girl Belle 10 months ago and we split up last month. After we split up I found out I was pregnant. I had a private scan as had to idea how far gone I was - I am 7 weeks today.

My ex dont want to give it another go and wants me to have an abortion but I dont I want to keep little dot. My family dont know and I dont want them to know until I am strong enough to stand firm and not let other people make my decision or try to.

I suffer anxiety since having my daughter as she is suffering with silent reflux, hypermobility, clicky hips and von willebrands (blood clotting problem) when i was with my ex he never had our daughter for 5 mins - I done it all, he still cant get a bottle down her he now takes belle out tues and wed 9am till 12pm, sat 12pm - 3pm and sun 12pm - 4pm and I am a nervous wreck. He has bathed her once and dressed her twice.

I dont know if I feel comfortable with him doing that as he didnt do nothing when we were together but i also know they need time together.

I am a nervous wreck, I dont know if it is hormones and stress or what but I really want to cope and I dont know how I will.

Has anyone had babies so close in age (2 under the age of 2) and done it on your own?!

I am struggling really bad and i am keeping it together when Belle is awake but when I put her to bed I feel like crumbling. I am trying to be strong but I feel so broken I dont know what to do.

I dont want a baby's life to pay the price but is it right to bring a baby in to the world knowing its already got a broken home.

I am exhausted emotionally xxxxxx

Thanks all for reading x

TOP BIT SHOULD SAY 7 WEEKS PREGNANT NOT 8 X

 

[Jade--x]

I have 2 boys (now 3 and 17 months) and I've done it all alone with both.

Do you have any help for your anxiety? I was offered Citalopram when I was pregnant (huge anxiety issues) though I didn't want to take it, though they can do things like CBT and things for you too (which I did).x

 

[fairydust87]

Im not in your situation baby wise but just wanted to say you can get yhrough it of course you can. You have raised your lovely daughter thus far you can do it again. Of course its scary but you will get through it because frankly you have to. Belle and bean are lucky to have such a loving caring mummy like you. Dont put yourself down and second guess yourself im sure once your family find out they will be supportive. Encourage a relationship with Belle and her father he might come around to bean once he gets his head around the idea. Good luck x

 

[pinkbump1]

HI, thanks for the replies, I am really grateful. I have been on medication and counseling for 3 months due to the anxiety. I have been a wreck Belle has been sick so much how she hasnt gone blue i dont know. She has done it through the night so many times. Luckily Belle seems a lot better and dont do it as much but the anxiety got severe when Belle was in hospital with broncilitious in April. I knocked me for six.

Belle is with her daddy now for a few hours before he goes to work and I encourage their relationship I just worry all the time and he doesnt understand. I must admit my anxiety is easing more every time he takes her out so I just feel so lost.

I am determined to get through it like us girls do i guess no-one should under-estimate a mothers love for her child and how strong we can be.

I am going to dust myself off and be the best mum I can. I know it is going to be hard and I think that is what makes it scary. Its the unknown. I am not worried about doing it on my own Ive done so much with Belle I know I can do it. I just dont want my children to hate me.

Its a hard time because pregnancy is hard on its own when you dont feel great without a breakup as well. My daughter keeps me smiling and I know having 2 children under 2 is going to be hard but I will do my upmost to keep it all together for the health of my baby girl, bump and me x

Thankyou for giving me the courage on a crap day. I have good days where I think I can do this and bad days where I feel this is impossible but i should know from giving birth - NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE hard maybe but impossible absolutely not xxxxxxxxx

I will keep you all updated. I have got to change the date of my booking scan as ive got that 28th Dec but I think I will need that earlier now x

 

[MommaAlexis]

many of us were left while pregnant. Just because he isn't ready doesn't mean you aren't. Good luck! Hopefully it gets easier soon

 

[pinkbump1]

Feeling really sad today and really let down. My ex has spoke to me like crap in front of Belle when he picked her up and dropped her back home on wednesday. Ive told him if he does it again in front of her i will get solicitors involved.

He sad he hasnt let Belle down and i tried to explain he is letting her down by talking to her mum like that in front of her. I also reminded him I am pregnant so not only does Belle not need to hear it I dont need it either.

Please tell me this gets better. Feel so hurt

 

[Shezza84uk]

It gets better! I too was left with my LO also found out I was pregnant just after he left, I know its not the same age gap but I am doing perfectly fine on my own let your ex get on with it try to just make communication solely aboutyour LO and pregnancy if he isn't interested say hi and bye eventually his opinions and reaction or tantrums wont matter x

 

[daneuse27]

You sound like a loving , and caring mom and it sounds like you want to keep this baby so I think you should. Your ex surely loves his daughter despite your problems together, and he will probably still help where he can (even if its minimal) with the new baby. Remember to be strong and keep positive you can do it and by the way, congrats!