So confused!

Discussion in 'Assisted Conception' started by DONNA78, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. DONNA78

    DONNA78 Member

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    So confused!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Hi Everyone,

    I am really confused about which treatment would suit me (I have no children).
    My partner has had a vasectomy (years before I met him) and he has two children, so we can not have a child in the expected way.

    I went to my doc to see if I could have treatment, he told me I had NO CHANCE, as my partner has had a vasectomy & has two children??? I asked him why would I be penalised for something that had nothing to do with me! ( sorry im still angry about this).
    I told my doc that I wanted him to send a letter to the hospital for referal on the NHS anyway, he was reluctant but I more or less pleaded with him.
    3 weeks later I got an appointment through for NHS, but its only a consultation, even though my spirits were lifted by this letter I also know they could turn me down.

    So - we have a back-up plan of going private, BUT- im not sure which treatment is best for me, im not sure if my partner would qualify for sperm retrieval as he has high blood pressure, high cholestrol & asthma.

    So do I go for donor sperm, do I not nessessarily need IVF.

    I have also thought about egg sharing whether I get treatment on the NHS or private, but I dont know much about it.

    Does anyone know if us women can egg share more than once? or on two seperate occasions?

    I am 33ys I am a bit over weight but im trying to lose weight before my appointment on 28th Dec 2011, plus I have stopped smoking & drinking.

    Many thanks,

    Donna
     
  2. bugs

    bugs Well-Known Member

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    Hi donna, my circumstances were similar in that my partner also has children from a previous relationship so we were not eligible for funding. Some PCT's will allow Nhs treatment if the maternal side has no children but unfortunately for us ours was not one of them so we had to pay.

    With regards to the actual treatment I'm not sure about your partner they may try a reversal or I know there is a procedure were you can have the sperm surgically removed from the testicles but I don't know the details. We need ivf because I have no tubes my oh is fine.

    I have just done egg sharing and as long as you meet all the criteria I think the maximum age is 35 then I think you can do 3 cycles but I think it might be best to concentrate on the male side and then look into what treatment is best.

    I totally feel for you about not getting nhs treatment I was absolutely devestated when I found it. Good luck to you xxxx
     
  3. MrsC8776

    MrsC8776 Mom to twin girls!!

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    I know the situation you are in and it is tough. DH had a vasectomy years ago and has a child. We have no children together but we want one. We actually went to the fertility clinic here and had a consult, they said DH wouldn't be able for reversal. So they did tell him that he could do a tesi biopsy. Removing the sperm in a painful way but DH says it's worth it. Some places will let you do IUI if they get enough but others will only do IVF. If neither of those work that when they say to look into using a donor I believe.

    I hope things work out for you. I don't know anything about egg sharing but I thought I would tell you what I know. Hope it helps out a little bit :flower:
     
  4. DONNA78

    DONNA78 Member

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    Hi Bugs,

    Thanks for your reply.

    I know the NHS is so frustrating, we have considered sperm retrieval as he was told at the time that it could not be reversed, but not sure if he would be accepted for it cos of his medical issues but it seems like we will push that for the first try.

    Ill try to get all the info we need from my NHS consultation even though they will almost certainly refuse treatment, that way at least the appointment wont be totally a waste of time.

    Sorry to hear your situation, and well done for sharing your eggs, I think thats a fantastic thing to do, Im willing to egg share myself, I hope everything goes good for you, keeping my fingers crossed for all us that want a baby.

    Good luck.
    Take care.
     
  5. DONNA78

    DONNA78 Member

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    Hi MrsC8776,

    My partner was told at the time that his vasectomy can not be reversed, we can do egg sharing up to 35 in the UK so that is an option.

    I hope everything goes well for you.

    Good luck and take care :hugs:
     
  6. MrsC8776

    MrsC8776 Mom to twin girls!!

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    Good luck to you as well!
     
  7. kris c

    kris c New Member

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    Unfortunately this is a really unfair situation you are in because as you said why should your partners situation affect you as your own person, my advice firstly would be to see if a reversal is possible, if not and they will not take sperm from your partner then you would have to use a sperm donor, thing is if your gna do that then you may just have to pretend your single, I know that's far fetched but I know a few people who've done this!! So maybe best to think quick before your apt and before you give them any details ie who your partner is etc?? :wacko:
     
  8. MrsC8776

    MrsC8776 Mom to twin girls!!

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    I'm just wondering why she would have to pretend she is single? Is this something to do with using a sperm donor? I know people who are married and use a sperm donor and there wasn't any issues. Sorry just curious.
     
  9. DONNA78

    DONNA78 Member

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    Hi Kris c,

    Thanks for your reply,

    I have heard of women pretending that the are single but my partner does not like the idea of that, as he wants to be there every step of the way, I think we would just pay privatly if I get refused treatment on the NHS, my partner has offered to pay but we can only afford 3 attempts, and that would leave us on the bread line, but its worth it if it works.

    Your right its not fair that we should get treated differently because of vasectomy issues, it really annoys me, but I suppose that is the risk people take. But doesnt help me.

    One of my collegues has just started IVF on the NHS, even though she has children, maybe im too honest hey!

    Anyway take care & good luck.
     

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