So crazy bad it's funny

[AnnieMac2]

I tried talking to a counselor. During our first session, she told me miscarriage was a normal, natural thing and then proceeded to tell me something about how cats who recently gave birth will reject their kittens if a human touches them and that's natural too. LOL, what?!

Let's break this down. 1) The story was about a cat; 2) That cat didn't even have a miscarriage; 3) I think the whole rejection thing might be a myth?; 4) an actual, real human being said this; and 5) that person has spent years being educated on how to connect with people through talking.

Maybe my sense of humor is too twisted, and this story isn't even funny. But I was amused for a little bit. Although, so as not to turn people off to counseling, I have found an amazing counselor and it was worth giving it another shot.

I hope everyone is doing as ok as possible today. xo

 

[Sugden88]

My hubby suggested I speak to a counsellor.....well with comments like that, id rather just bottle up my feelings and tank some wine.
That response is unbelievable! I truly don't know what to say to that genius motivational response she paid to get her qualifications.....

Sarah x

 

[.hopeful.one.]

Thanks for the chuckle! It's amazing to me that that was the best they could do... Umm Really? I think that degree was a waste of time.

 

[AnnieMac2]

Sarah - I just replied on my other thread asking if you were trying counseling - got my answer. Truly though, I went through some very hard times in the past and it's sort of the nature of the thing: it can take a few tries to find someone who is a good fit. And then the frustration was worth it. I have an ultra-dry sense of humor so I got a laugh at it and felt a little better about myself because at least I'm not as crazy as that lady.

I recommend finding a woman who likes to treat women's issues. Psychologytoday.com is a great resource. You can see the person's picture (weirdly comforting) and they write a blurb about their approach. I did not look up Crazy Cat Lady on there because I took the first therapist available. There is a therapist literally 10 houses away from me who specializes in fertility, loss, parenting, etc. She costs $200 per session (!!!), but I might cave if I get worse. If she has any secrets to the universe, I will share them on here! xoxo

 

[AnnieMac2]

At the very least, she could have told me a story about a cat who had a miscarriage. Or a dog. I really like dogs.

 

[Sugden88]

Sarah - I just replied on my other thread asking if you were trying counseling - got my answer. Truly though, I went through some very hard times in the past and it's sort of the nature of the thing: it can take a few tries to find someone who is a good fit. And then the frustration was worth it. I have an ultra-dry sense of humor so I got a laugh at it and felt a little better about myself because at least I'm not as crazy as that lady.

I recommend finding a woman who likes to treat women's issues. Psychologytoday.com is a great resource. You can see the person's picture (weirdly comforting) and they write a blurb about their approach. I did not look up Crazy Cat Lady on there because I took the first therapist available. There is a therapist literally 10 houses away from me who specializes in fertility, loss, parenting, etc. She costs $200 per session (!!!), but I might cave if I get worse. If she has any secrets to the universe, I will share them on here! xoxo

i think il wait a wee bit and then if i feel im not coping then il give it a bash... why not, i might even get a comedian like what you got!
Must be honest though i think im feeling slightly better as i now have this forum and talking to people who really get how im feeling etc, think i was feeling very isolated before and i dont want to talk to people who havent went through similar things..... this is a fault of mines but its just how i am!

Hope your doing okay love xx

 

[AnnieMac2]

I am so glad you feel even the slightest bit better. This helps me too. I just have no outlet otherwise. Even my husband doesn't get me, so I'm trying to hide the sadness even in my own house. It's exhausting and frustrating. He was very sad about mc but he's sort of a hyper-focused person. So he can go to work all day, go to the gym, watch a movie, whatever, and it completely has his attention. He'd probably go indefinitely without dwelling on any emotion, so I get more out of this forum than I do from him on this.

I'm ok today. Good enough. I hope you're having a good wknd. xo

 

[Andypanda6570]

I think a loss group works better. I lost Ava at 22 weeks, gave birth in my home in 2011..These doctors cannot help us, they have no idea what we have been through.. How can you help me when you don't know my pain?
XO So sorry for your loss

 

[Dark_Star]

There are good counselors too. The one I saw really validated my feelings and reinforced the concept that to a woman a pregnancy is a living child the second she gets that positive test, and should be mourned as such. She really helped me.

 

[AnnieMac2]

I think I'm about ready to pull the trigger on a support group. Have any of you tried one? I think I'm at a place where I've given some other routes a genuine try and need to concede that they're not enough.

Darkstar - Twins!! Congratulations!! That is so exciting!

 

[momwithbabies]

Your story is insane! WTH??? I'm glad you saw the humor in it, though. I don't see how cats/miscarriage coincide. She sounds like she's the one who needs therapy, lol!

I probably should seek a counselor, but I can't afford it with the medical bills from my miscarriage. I found the greatest comfort from my priest, lol. He's a man/never has been married/celebant but he came up to me after church this Sunday and asked if he could put a rose for my baby by a statue of Mary during mass sometime. He told me just to let him know when I'm ready. He's the only person, aside from a lady at work, who has spoken to me about my loss since I had my miscarriage 6 weeks ago. It made me feel like someone cares and knows how this haunts me everyday. I gave him a hug and told him how much that would mean to me. I don't know if I can make it through the service, but just to know someone cares about the baby I lost and my well-being. It meant the world to me.

 

[Cornfieldland]

Omg Annie! That lady should not get paid..haha Terrible absolutely terrible! You should have just walked out there...some people!
Right now this is my only therapy. There has been a very few people at work/friends that have been compassionate. But most havnt a clue and say the stupidest things. Even my sister that has had a 2nd trimester miscarrage tells me all the time "I know you don't want to hear this but it will get better or at least you have your boys" I feel like saying if you know I don't want to hear it then don't say it. Having other children does not lessen the pain of losing another. I'm so sick of dumb ass comments.
Therapists have no excuse though! Good Lord...

 

[AnnieMac2]

That's so sweet about your priest, momwithbabies. It just depends on the person, doesn't it? Even a man. Who is a virgin. You'd never guess. It's just terrible how expensive medical care...I'm sorry. Totally evil. My husband and I have a $10,000 deductible. We pay a premium so we can pay $10,000. Cool. He is an attorney who fights insurance companies though, so we get satisfaction when he wins.

I haven't found a ton of support, which is why I really appreciate this site. My (new!!) therapist has given me some good things to think about, but it's not a life-changing. I even talked to a psychic this weekend lol! Just impulsively set it up. I didn't even care if it would be believable. I just wanted someone to talk to me about it. It ended up being nice, actually!

I'm sorry your sister says that stuff, Corn. It's like when people preface stuff with, "Not to be rude, but..." Oh, so you're going to be rude on purpose then? I have some nice friends, but they've been very thoughtless at times and it hurt too much to go to them anymore with this. You guys are life-savers!

 

[momwithbabies]

Yes, the medical bills are ridiculous and downright immoral. Good for your husband fighting them!!!

I agree! This forum helps a lot. Just expressing how you're feeling freely is therapeutic.