So Depressed

[horrorheart13]

This is probably going to be a long one

For the past few days I've been unbelievably depressed. Just bawling uncontrollably. But it's not like I don't know why. I think it's half hormones and half everything else. All I want to do is be happy during my pregnancy. But for some reason my boyfriend has to be one of those manly men who thinks acting like he cares is showing weakness. He won't touch my belly at all, he barely talks to me lately and when my back is killing me he'll only massage it if i give him something in return (ie: give him massage, etc). It's starting to get to the point where I don't even think he loves me anymore. It was alittle like this before I got pregnant. I had hoped after my suprise BFP he would realize we're in this together and that I don't want to do this all by myself. When I was pregnant the first time (miscarriage) he was happy and always asking me how I feel and being very loving and supportive. And this time he's not. I jsut don't know what to do. I'm always sad and crying because when I try to bring it up to him he says I'm accusing him of things and then proceeds to be a royal a**hole. Right now we're e-mailing eachother back and forth and I'm using the best words I can and being as nice as possible to get my point across without seeming like a bitch and it's just not working.

I hate it that I sound like I'm whining but everyone else seems SO HAPPY and I hate that I don't get that.

 

[Samantha675]

HH13, do you think he could be distancing himself from this pregancy because he is afraid ya'll will lose the baby again?

 

[horrorheart13]

HH13, do you think he could be distancing himself from this pregancy because he is afraid ya'll will lose the baby again?

That might be. But we're far past the point that we lost the last time and we actually celebrated after we were 2 weeks past that point. I figured he'd have come around by now. I don't want to feel like I'm alone for months

 

[Jenny]

He might be just scared, men are such wussies when it comes to babies. Hopefully he comes around more when the baby starts kicking and he feels it. When I was pregnant with my son my hubby never rubbed my tummy,gave me massages, etc but this time around he's totally different. I think it just takes them longer to process and get emotionally attached as we are to the little ones.It might be too that after getting past the miscarriage point that he realized, OMG I'm having a baby, and his sense of responsiblity set in big time and is terrified. I hope you start feeling better sweetie, I'm sure he'll be happier when he's gotten use to the idea.

 

[horrorheart13]

He might be just scared, men are such wussies when it comes to babies. Hopefully he comes around more when the baby starts kicking and he feels it. When I was pregnant with my son my hubby never rubbed my tummy,gave me massages, etc but this time around he's totally different. I think it just takes them longer to process and get emotionally attached as we are to the little ones.It might be too that after getting past the miscarriage point that he realized, OMG I'm having a baby, and his sense of responsiblity set in big time and is terrified. I hope you start feeling better sweetie, I'm sure he'll be happier when he's gotten use to the idea.

Thank you so much, I really hope so. I'm such a mess lately

 

[nikkybaby]

Don't worry. My boyfriend can be a real insensitive jerk at times. They really don't understand. I am not always happy, in fact in the beginning, my boyfriend and I fought a lot because he was excited and I wasn't. Then I started feeling worse, thinking that I was going to be a bad mom because I wasn't excited. It's hard. Like samantha said, he's probably keeping himself distanced because you lost your little one before. Men aren't always the best at showing emotions, in fact, they suck at it. It is frustrating, but hopefully you will be able to talk it through, and have a happy pregnancy.
And don't worry. You are not alone in this. You always have people here to talk to, and if you need anything, you can always pm me.

 

[horrorheart13]

Don't worry. My boyfriend can be a real insensitive jerk at times. They really don't understand. I am not always happy, in fact in the beginning, my boyfriend and I fought a lot because he was excited and I wasn't. Then I started feeling worse, thinking that I was going to be a bad mom because I wasn't excited. It's hard. Like samantha said, he's probably keeping himself distanced because you lost your little one before. Men aren't always the best at showing emotions, in fact, they suck at it. It is frustrating, but hopefully you will be able to talk it through, and have a happy pregnancy.
And don't worry. You are not alone in this. You always have people here to talk to, and if you need anything, you can always pm me.

Thank you

 

[goldlion]

Sometimes men just don't get it do they? Especially when you try to tell them--- they take it the wrong way. Lots of men are just afraid to show their emotions--which sucks for us, especially when we're so emotional. I know I have a tendency to look too far into things and it upsets me even further. Hopefully you two can talk through it Just think of bubs and it will cheer you up.

For now, take a nice bubble bath and eat icecream My cure for all my woes! Bahaha.

 

[BurtonBaby]

Aww hun... =( Guys suck sometimes. I know that my DH is thrilled about this pregnancy, but sometimes he just doesn't act like it. They have a hard time giving up the masculine image to show a little emotion. Sometimes when I talk to him, its like he just spaces and doesn't care. I've tried to keep him as involved as possible. He comes to all the appts with me, and we've already bought lots of little outfits that say like Daddy's Girl and stuff, just to get him excited about it. Also, we are planning a co-ed baby shower, to keep him involved.

Maybe if you think of little ways to keep him involved, he will show a little more emotion. Especially when he see's baby on the u/s or feels little kicks, its like impossible not to get excited. I hope he comes around.

And as far as being depressed... I know what you mean. Between hormones, and crap going on in my life, I'm a mess half the time. I just talked to my work and got off the phone bawling. I try to just take bubble baths to relax, and I'm learning to cook, to keep me busy, and not emotional/stressed.