So disappointed

[Sweetie923]

Hello All,
I turned 39 last week. My hubby and I have been trying to have our first child for about 8 months now and every month...nothing. This month though I really thought this was it. I had all the symptoms and just was really so hopeful but today I got confirmation that I am not pregnant...again. I don't know. I just needed to share that with someone who might understand. My husband has a 12 year old child from his first marriage and she is a wonderful young woman, but I don't have any kids and we want one together. He is supportive and really wonderful but beyond saying "it will happen", I know he doesn't really understand what is happening to me emotionally every month when I am not carrying. Just venting. Thanks for reading.

 

[Lucky4]

Try and stay positive. I am 38 and my last pregnancy took 9 months to achieve. Unfortunately I had mc but was ready to give up that cycle, actually cancelled the infertility clinic appt the day before bfp. It happened when I least expected. I know the month after month of bfns are soul destroying but try and stay positive. Can you focus in anything else to take your mind off it? Job, family, organising something?Good luck((( hugs)))

 

[Angelic]

I know exactly how you feel. I have just this minute taken a test and had a BFN after being absolutely sure I was pregnant (2 weeks late, spotting etc) and I'm pretty gutted. We've also been trying for our first since last christmas but without success. My husband doesn't really get how I feel but that's not his fault - he's a man! But I know that he loves me very much and I know it will happen for us soon. I know it's so hard but try and keep your spirits up. I also turned 39 recently and I sometimes feel as though it'll never happen but there's plenty of time yet

xx

 

[one4 me2]

I use to cry every time AF arrived, and then finally one day I told myself that I would not put myself through this anymore. So the past several months, as heartbreaking as it is, I say and move on to the next cycle. My husband has twin boys from his first marriage, and he adores children. He is very supportive in whatever I want to do, but he refuses to let me get down on myself because of something that I cannot control. I try to keep myself busy and not stress about, although there are times when it can be hard. Just be thankful for the good things that are happening in your life so that you can get through each day.

 

[Sweetie923]

Thank you all for the support and understanding. I guess I am getting scared. My cycles seem to be getting shorter and lighter and I don't know if that means my time is about up or what.
You are all right, I need to try to take my mind off of it and just let it be. I feel in my heart that it will happen. It just seems sometimes that it happens so easy for others in my life...sometimes even when they don't want it to, and here we are trying so hard.
I need a hobby! LOL.
Thank you again.

 

[Leeze]

Hi everyone

Being 38 and now on our 10th month of TTC baby number 1, I understand what you're going through. It's hard to be positive all of the time, isn't it? I think sometimes it's ok to let yourself feel sad because this is big and important stuff, but it's equally (if not more) important to try to stay positive and remember that most couples (even under 35) can take up to a year to conceive.

I also really felt like I was pregnant last month and it was heart-breaking to keep getting the BFNs and then AF came along. But, there's lots of first-time Mums out there in their late 30's and early 40's. I'm finding lots of comfort from sharing on here, and reading posts from those of a similar age who are getting their BFPs. And I've learnt lots of tips already in the last couple of weeks that I'm looking forward to trying!

And if all else fails, I think a bit of retail therapy helps! And, I've got into reading feel-good emotional books for a bit of escapism! And, finally, remember you're not alone in all this!

 

[Chilli]

Oh, I know how you feel hun and the idea that time is running out is killing! I have had 3 months this year when I was sure I was, then BFN as well as several when I knew I wasn't. I have had 4 pgs before so I know how I should feel. I was getting really stressy and worried not least of all because I had my FSH levels taken and they were 12 - so convinced it wasn't going to happen on it's own I went on a research frenzy. I went back to accupunture started taking maca and royal jelly daily. That was last month. Felt sure that was having another disappointing late cycle this month, just didn't feel pg so didn't test til 16dpo and burst into tears when a 2 lines appeared. I'm 40 in May! So, try to do some things that allow you to feel like you might be giving your body a helping hand, but don't obsess (I had pretty much thrown in the towel this month & only BD'd 2 times in 5 days around OV) and it will happen, keep the faith and try to enjoy the beauty all around you meanwhile... I know how consuming it can be! Lots of luck for next month

 

[seoj]

I am in a similar boat- we have a 13 yr old girl from my hubby's first marriage (she is with us full time) and I adore her- but being her "mom" just reminds me of all the years I missed out on... and how much I want to have a child with my hubby that is just ours- she see's her mother every other weekend and I'm the one that misses her and just wants her to be mine and not share- lol. I know right?

But it's very easy to get down on yourself... it's much more difficult to remain focused and positive when you go through months of disappointment... so I try this... I imagine what it will be like when I do finally get pregnant. I focus on how I'll feel- the joy of telling my spouse and how excited he'll get- the fun of telling all our friends and family, the craziness of a growing belly etc... whatever puts me in a happy place. I'll even think about how I'll decorate the nursery... names... really, something to put my focus on all the positive and wonderful things to come... and away from the negative frustration that comes with trying again and again... some days are easier than others for sure... but just remind yourself it WILL happen- and how all this will fade away when it does...

good luck!!!!

 

[Blackbird]

just trying to do it naturally,good luck!