So does your OH/DH have the gift giving gene?

[Margerle]

< rant >

Ok, so like the title said, does your OH/DH have the gift giving gene?

Lemme explain:

My DH is missing the gift giving gene. He has absolutely no idea what happens before the gift object is sitting in the shopping cart ready to be purchased. If it isn't already on a list, or specifically described in detail to him to begin with.

What the hell is the point in being surprised on Christmas?!?!?


As mentioned on another thread, I thought I wanted a memory foam topper for our bed. I decided I didn't want that - but I'm still not sure what I DO want. I personally think it's kinda rude to be handed a "THIS IS WHAT I WANT" list and be expected to purchase only from the list.

I understand this is how some families operate and I'm not cutting that down! In fact, I pretty much demand a list like this from my eldest daughter who is a PITA to get Xmas and bday stuff for.

But last night DH was not very happy with me when he found out I had changed my mind about the topper (I know for a fact he had not purchased it already - btw I would have had to buy that myself too). It was very frustrating for him. I told him if it would be ok if I just made a list of stuff I wanted. (I was being silly!) And he was seriously very thankful and grateful.

Oh my.

So now I have to make a damn list so my husband who has no gift giving gene can go buy the shit on the list, spend money to wrap the damn things I already know I'm getting and stick them under the fukn tree.

I'd rather not be pressured into finding stuff I want before Christmas. If you feel that way hun, let me have $$$ so I can find something AFTER Christmas during sales or whatever... Or let me SAVE UP my holiday $$$ and get a new computer (which I'll need in the next year or two) or new fancy schmancy sewing machine.

He wont' let me "not have something for Christmas". I'm trying to find a 'series' or something that I can collect that is a sure thing for him to get for me without me having to go get the damn thing for him every year... I mean seriously what's the friggin point of buying your own present FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO GIVE YOU!?

Gift Giving Gene Disability... that's the reason for the season...

</ rant over >

 

[princess_bump]

oh sweetie, i agree, its wonderful and what christmas is about having suprises, you don't want to tell your DH exactly what you want.
thankfully james does have the gift giving gene, sending lots of hugs honey x x x

 

[oOKayOo]

My Oh is the same , actaully the other day i went into a store with him as he said he couldnt find the things on my list at all ( if i dont make a list he wont get anything or its just aload of crap)
Went straight to where the things were picked them up and said here you go and he payed for it.
What a surprise i am going to have for this x-mas

 

[Margerle]

Oh, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

 

[Mamafy]

My Oh is the same , actaully the other day i went into a store with him as he said he couldnt find the things on my list at all ( if i dont make a list he wont get anything or its just aload of crap)
Went straight to where the things were picked them up and said here you go and he payed for it.
What a surprise i am going to have for this x-mas

but at least Kay you'll get stuff you actually like! This is a great idea

What about generalising things for him Margerle? like say perfume? or underwear with your size? or maybe you'd be worried he'd give you crotchless numbers

I'd say cash and lots of it

 

[dizzy65]

awe i am sorry.

 

[Kitten]

My OH is really good at present buying! He has already started a list of ideas and things he thinks I want (which I sneaked a look at, hehe, and he's bang on the money) and has already started buying. He's one of these people who goes too far though and spends more than he can afford so I'm going to be reminding him to tone it down at every opportunity!

 

[LongRoadAhead]

My OH is useless! Well he always buys me lovely lovely pressies, Last year I got a gold eternity ring and matching earrings, But he always leaves it to a few days before christmas and the phones me up and tells me what hes braught me!! Talk about ruining the suprise! And then keeps nagging me to say what Iv got him, but nowayyy am I going to!
Hopfully this year he will keep his mouth shut
Xxxx

 

[leeanne]

My OH can be good at gifts but there have been a few Christmas' that he's faltered.

Here's an example:
6 years ago he saw a massage chair that he so liked in the mall, but it was a bit costly. Since he saw that chair, that's all he talked about.

2 Christmas' ago, he's in the mall looking for a gift for me. He calls me and tells me he has to give my gift early because it's too big to wrap. I wasn't happy because I like to be surprised at Christmas.

He came home with the massage chair for me. Was it for me....or for him?

Then he realized that I had bought him a bunch of stuff, so he went out and got me some more things. A set of dishes and cutlery.

While it may seem nice to have a massage chair, I rarely use it and it was not something I had talked about that I wanted.

Other times, he's pretty good but I think after 10 years together, you run out of ideas. Last Christmas was the first Christmas I told him what I wanted. One thing I told him...and I got it. But there was no surprise.

 

[amyblackstone]

My DH takes me shopping with him and buys my presents. That way I get to choose whatever I like. It is fine with me, I don't really want the surprise element. Sometimes he goes out of his way to surprise me though, and I feel it is really really sweet.

 

[greenkat]

I don't think I've ever had a surprise present from my OH, with one exception - last Christmas he called me vain then bought me a mirror (needless to say I wasn't too happy with it).

I would like a nice surprise but I don't think I'll get it - he doesn't like surprises himself. He's good at buying me things if I say I like them though so he'll prob just take me shopping for this Christmas. Well I hope anyway...

 

[Margerle]

My OH is useless! Well he always buys me lovely lovely pressies, Last year I got a gold eternity ring and matching earrings, But he always leaves it to a few days before christmas and the phones me up and tells me what hes braught me!! Talk about ruining the suprise! And then keeps nagging me to say what Iv got him, but nowayyy am I going to!
Hopfully this year he will keep his mouth shut
Xxxx

OMG I forgot this part!!!

It's so rare that he buys me something I didn't "ask" for... when he does he always tells me cuz he's so proud of himself!

 

[massacubano]

Oh Hun I feel for you so much. I love to be surprised and with some success my Hubby has chosen nice gifts on his own. I think I am too picky which makes me the bad one huh?

Anyhow, no clue on how to resolve this.. wish I was more helpful!

 

[wantababybump]

We usually try to make eachother a list of alot of things so in the end I dont know exactly what I am getting. Its hard this year tho because I really had no idea what I wanted. He made me a massive list lol...there are a few things not on his list that I want to give him. But ya basically Shawn sometimes has the gene but it dissapears other times...He would be tottally clueless if I didnt give him a list...hopefully as we are married longer his gift giving will improve...but reading you ladies stories, Im now not so sure. haha

 

[tasha41]

My boyfriend is awful too, he bought me a promise ring for my birthday, it's a pretty .25 karat solitary diamond on a white gold band.. but was so pleased with himself that he showed his mom and told one of my coworkers that he bumped into at the mall. Then he called me wanting to tell me/give me it early.

Now it's Christmas, my birthday was just on October 31, and he hasn't got any ideas of what to get me, and he's asking me what I want. Truthfully I had to try hard to think of what I wanted from my mother and really wrack my brains for a list to give her, and most things I want are on it!

May just ask for a gift certificate for a salon or something so I can get my hair done nicely, or for a new hair straightener, as I will need one when we move out!!

 

[Farie]

We tend to do a bit of both .. I say "I would REALLY like ......" and he finds usually something off that list to get me ... and picks up a couple of bits and bobs I really don't know about.

 

[Erised]

My DH is fantastic at finding presents for me, and picking absolutely gorgeous jewellery. Me however, I lack the gift giving gene. Unless I know someone wants something in particular (ie. MIL really needed new rollers, knew this for a while now, so got some for her birthday) I can't think of what to buy. Hence why my dad got a doughnut maker for Christmas last year, which never got used.

 

[Shifter]

Oh no! Poor you. That's a real pain.

Hubby and I both have Amazon wish lists that are pretty extensive. So for birthdays and xmas we link them to our families and can be sure of getting something that is wanted but without knowing in advance exactly what it will be!

Hubby does occasionally try to surprise me, but it's usually a bit of a hiccup when he does. Nothing really bad, just maybe a CD that I didn't really want that only gets listened to once.

Two years ago we went xmas shopping together, primarily for gifts for our families, but as we walked around we ended up spotting things we wanted ourselves. So we picked out a few little impulse buys and swapped so we could wrap them for each other. That worked out quite nicely for us, but only because there were other gifts that were surprises on the day.

 

[Samo]

my DH surprises me...i admit, i am hard to shop for! I don't even know what i want! But DH comes up with things year after year and the gifts really are great, surprisingly! Last year he got me a new set of Calphalon pots and pans...i never even thought of wanting new pots and pans but i am so in love with them! He got me a nice clock another year...i never thought of a clock, but it was brilliant as we didn't have any clocks lol, it's still used in our living room and matches lovely!

His ideas are nothing i would have thought of myself lol but they always turn out really good and very useful!