So fed up that I don't even want to do it anymore *rant* :(

[opticalillus5]

Ok so I'm having a morngy day where I've just had enough, and I need to get it off my chest

Basically, I'm getting married where I don't want to because we can't afford the wedding I always wanted. So I tried to make the best of it, but i've just had enough. Here goes:

My mum is buying things without asking me, my MIL is saying she'll sort stuff for us and then not doing. I don't know what each of them have done/haven't done.
My auntie has said she's buying the cake as a wedding gift, and to 'trust her' so i'll have no idea what it will be like... same with my mum and the transport.
My mum's said she's saving my wedding dress in the loft, so it'll probably get ruined.
One of the bridesmaids isn't happy about the dress. I haven't begun to sort mine, or their accessories.
I can't order flowers cos apparently the ladies at the church arrange them, but it's not my church, OH is catholic, and I have no idea what's going on there.
Organising the hen night has been a right pain in the arse.
I sorted out the guest list, but there are now problems with fitting everyone in, so I have to go and sort out table arrangements before I can even send out invites.
OH's family are divorced, so won't sit together on top table. Plus, they have partners (FIL's happens to be who he left MIL for).
The venue is awful and scratty. And OH's uni mates/workmates are REALLY posh.
We're running out of money.
The caterer is my uncle, so he's just said he'll 'sort it'. So i've no idea what we're having to eat etc. Or how much it'll cost. Or ideas about drinks/plates/tablecloths/favours.
We have to spend our wedding night at home with the kids.

Oh, and we're getting married in June this year.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that. OH said 'I don't know what you're fed up for, we haven't done anything in months'. No... YOU haven't done anything AT ALL apart from book your suit. So I've told him i resign as wedding planner, and he can sort it all out himself.

I love him, but I don't even want to do it anymore

 

[ladykara]

the joys of getting married, i found the first part stressful as i didnt know where to start and had a bit of a strop because we didnt have the money for my dream wedding. Luckily for me im a tight arse so got everything cheap or i made without for things which i didnt think was as important.

you may have already done this but just in case this is how i coped, i did the entire wedding on my own, hubby just hired his suits.

write a list of everything you need and write the name of the person who is suppose to be organising it and contact each of them and arrange to meet up or if you have to call by phone and talk about what you want or what your getting (sometimes just because its free its not what you want, your only married once, well ok maybe twice in my case)

have a clear image in your head what kind of a wedding you want, look for cheaper alternitives or pick out certain things which are important to you, i didnt care about arriving in a limo or driving myself in my CRV but i did care i had seat covers (i know im crazy) try and work out a budget for each item you will go over this budget unless you end up with some real great bargains.

Your OH family really need to grow up, its their sons wedding for god sake !! i would get your OH to ask nicely if they would set aside their problems for their Darling son ; )

I would keep in contact with everyone who has promised to do things for you but have a emergancy number to hand just in case. You can make any venue look amazing with a bit of money (i know you have lack off) and a few mates willing to help you, you may even find the night before your wedding will end up with you decorating the hall.... but its the wedding day which is the important part... what date in June? we were suppose to be June the 21st but we found out we were expecting to got put forward to March last year...

Oh! and either ask gifts in the form of cash...... may get you out of the red after you have paid for those extra bits for the wedding...

The most important things for me was our honeymoon , and the seat covers of course !!! i had 3 people at my main wedding who i didnt even know but was told we had to invite them !!! at £40 a head i wasnt best pleased and made my OH parents pay for them !!

 

[genies girl]

I totally agree with everything Kara said write a list and tick off the bits you know are done and talk to people about the other parts surprises are nice but you would feel happier knowing what to expect .

Men are useless! They really don't understand wedding stress!

I would do one thing each day , try not to think about it all in one go!

Our reception was in a tired looking hall but with the right dressing it was totally transformed ! My mum cried when she saw it as it was so different .

Good luck love x

 

[honeybee2]

I totally feel your pain!

Ive just found out that my family are struggling fiancially so Ive had to cut the guest list from 80 to 50 and had to then go and let my closest friends know that they cant come to my wedding

Im having a rough ride at the moment too. I totally agree with what the others have said. Just wanted to let you know that your not on your own. xx

 

[Timid]

All families these days are a bit weird - mine is no exception as it sounds like yours is too.

To counter this, we decided that we're not going to have a 'top table' as it is a bit of an outdated tradition that we didn't like. Each 'parent couple' are hosting their own tables; MIL & FIL with their friends that we 'have to invite' and My Mum and my dad's family will host another. My Dad isn't coming, but I would have had to have him on a separate table as well if he did.

Our table is going to consist of us; our groomsmen and bridesmaids and their partners - who are all pretty close friends. That way we can actually relax a bit and have some fun with our friends at the party afterwards

Maybe you could do something similar?

Tx

 

[opticalillus5]

Thanks ladies....

I have a project book full of budgets and pictures and ideas, and it's doing sod all lol. I think i'm just fed up with it all at the moment, and i'm fed up of stressing about it.

And to top it off, i've just found out that the cricket club is having a party the night before, so we can't even get it ready then. Great.

Thing is, it's just that people are offering so much that I just CAN'T turn them down. I.e. it's such a big help that my mum has booked the transport and my auntie is doing the cake, but I can't stop worrying about it because I won't even see them until the day. What if I don't like them?

OH is going mad now cos I have 'resigned' and have told him he is going to have to sort it all out. I think he was just planning on turning up on the day. I'm debating calling it all off, but if I do then my mum will lose the £500 she's spent on transport. I'll lose the money i've used to book the hen night hotel rooms etc.
And OH would probably leave me. I soooo wish we'd have just gone abroad, or booked a venue that would sort everything out for us.

 

[ladykara]

Oh babe, will they decorate the hall for you? or do you have anyone who wont be going to the actual wedding but will be able to decorate the hall ? dont cancel it... i sure it will all fall into place even if right now it looks like a ball of known mess...xx

 

[honeybee2]

hunny, i understand your mum and family want to help you- but cant you ask to see what theyve planned so you can get a better idea of the day?? Its not fair that your not in the know x

 

[opticalillus5]

Well, thankfully we're not getting married till 2pm, so I guess I could get up at 7 and go decorate the hall...

 

[opticalillus5]

My mum is really happy, and is feeling really good about giving me such a good 'surprise' and doing this for me. So I can't really ask her to tell me what she's done cos then she'll be upset.

I don't know if it's the wedding planning that's getting me down, or if i'm having a few off days because of my PND. I dunno, it just seems like the end of the world and i'm feeling all sorry for myself, when in the grand scheme of things I know it's not so bad. I just can't snap out of it, and i'm throwing my teddy well and truly out of the cot.

Hmmf.

 

[opticalillus5]

And honeybee... I've just seen your thread

 

[honeybee2]

thanks hun!

I totally feel your pain. I dont know about a teddy, Ive thrown a whole toy box out!

Im so selfish, I really am I just want the best of everything. In the end I just need to realise that not having the best doesnt mean it wont be a magical day.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Aww hun .
I am not getting the wedding of my dreams either, we were supposed to get married in my lovely church, and have a reception with all our family and friends- nothing fancy, but in my head I saw lots of bunting, flowers, a band playing and lots of dancing and eating!
But unfortunatly my FIL to be is very unwell and we have had to change our plans somewhat! We're now getting married in a registry office up where MIL and FIL live, with just our parents and his 1 brother and my 2 brothers as guests. I won't have a wedding dress, I won't arrive ina car or anything and we won't have a reception/gifts/dancing etc. But we WILL get married with our closest family there to see it (God willing). And hopefuly have a church blessing and reception in a year or so, if my priest can convince the bishop!
ANYWAY.
I know it mst be crazy stressful but it looks like you will have lots of lovely things there, and hopefuly your day will turn out beautiful. And think how happy all the people who are involved are to be doing something special for you on your big day! That is love, and love is what it's all about