So frustrated

[winterwonder]

Morning all.

Its been awhile since i posted on here, I guess i've been sticking my head in the sand really, cos otherwise it hurts too much, I still think about Bud all the time, about how i would be 31 weeks on this monday coming up, all the stuff i would of got by now, how i would've painted his room etc.

Instead now i'm just waiting for everything, we finally got a letter for a appointment to find out all the test results, which is next friday, so i'm petrified because i've know idea what they'll say, and i cant bear the thought that it'll be "just one of those things", i think i'd rather have a reason why he died or something which i can at least fix.

And my stupid AF has yet to return! which is really stressing me out, i think i had a period 4 weeks after i lost Bud, although it only lasted a day and a half, and nothing since, which is nearly 7 weeks. I keep spotting every few days, I know i'm not pregnant, as i did a test yesterday, i just want it back, I dont know why.

Oh and christmas, so not looking forward to that.

I hope the rest of you ladies are keeping well, lots of

 

[kiki04]

Oh hun I know the feeling My due date just passed 2 weeks ago and it has been tough.... not looking forward to this xmas either I think we all go through phases of sticking our head in the sand sometimes Im just glad you know where to find us when it pops back out again

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss of Bud When my first AF came after loosing Ava it became so final for me and it broke my heart. We are all here for you day and night.
Thinking Of You..XOXOoooXOXOO

 

[collie_crazy]

I think we've all been there with the sticking our heads in the sand comment Sometimes we're just too hurt to even imagine.

I'm glad you have your appointment to get some results - and I'm hoping they can give you some answers that might help Keep us updated ok? Thinking of you xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Hi, I'm sorry you're struggling at the moment. I'm right with you on that one. I'm having a really hard time of it too - our losses were only days apart, so we are on a pretty similar time frame, except I should be just over 26 weeks now.

I have my follow up on Monday so may or may not get answers, and I'm pretty terrified of that. I buried my head in the sand for the longest time then just over a week ago it all came back to hit me like a sledgehammer and I'm off work again. I am hoping that the follow up will help in some way to help me find some peace.

Maybe they can give some help on the AF thing too, so mention that at your appointment? I'm sure it varies from person to person but I know what you mean about just wanting everything back to normal in that respect, however painful that is. I have been a crying mess over both the AFs I have had since because of what it represents, but I am also comforted that things are 'working' again, if that makes sense.

Let us know how you get on x

 

[mhazzab]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now

I wish I could do something for you.

I bled for ages after giving birth, had my first AF after ten weeks but I was still spotting up till that point, and for the whole of the next month too, when it finally stopped after my second AF. I got pregnant the second cycle, so my body did settle down in the end.

It's horrible waiting for the appointment, I was told they couldnt tell me a reason why I lost my daughters. In some ways that's good and in others, frustrating and also scary.

Let us know how Friday goes? And remember, we are here for you through the bad times, whatever you need x

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time, I'd say I stuck my head in the sand as well about your timeframe and it came back and bit me on the bum later too. I hope you get some answers at your appt or if none, at least the promise of a close watchful eye next time, if you choose a next time. I hope your body settles down soon, my AF came right back to normal but other body signs showed me that I was far from normal, hormonally - I had horror acne that started from my forehead and seemed to work its way down and out, it's only a few on my neck now so hopefull that's my body getting finally balanced. I also still had quite thick hair which I never have and it's been shedding heaps lately to get back to it's old wispy self (I'm painting a delicious picture of myself here, aren't I?) so I think things are finally normal,over 3 months later. I hope yours sorts itself soon, if not, I know a progesterone shot can be used to "jump-start" your period and get things back on track. I know spotting can be a sign of low progesterone sometimes, so if it continues maybe ask your doctor if a shot would help you. HTH.

XXX

 

[winterwonder]

Thank you all for your kind words, it makes feel better that i can keep talking about Bud on here and people not freak out!

Things just keep going from bad to worse with my family, my Nan broke her leg last night, and is possibly going to be in traction for the next 5 weeks! She'll end up drivng everyone mad i'm sure!

Hope you all have a nice day, and i'll be sure to let you know the results we get.
xxx