so heart broken, is it time to call it quits? *UPDATE*

[Kimiw]

hi ladies, I'm back! I am about to the end of my rope right now, and don't know what else to do. DH is avoiding me, my doctor was so cold and I am just sitting here feeling crushed. For those of you who may not know, me and DH spend 6 years ttc, and I was on my second round of clomid when I finally got my long awaited bfp. I did not post it in this forum because I respect all of you ladies so very much I didn't want to upset anybody. Well, I went for my first scan yesterday and nothing was seen. The doctor told me the baby was dead. Finally, after 6 years my short lived happiness came to an end. She told me to just let nature take it's course and I should be starting to bleed any day now. I am so heartbroken rightnow I don't even know where to turn.

Something I waited so long for was ripped away from me before it could fully sink in. DH is acting like he is mad at me, (as if it was my fault) and I feel so hopless and alone. I love you ladies so much, and you have always been a wonderful support system. I didn't feel comfortable going to other forums with this because a lot of the other women who have been through this kind of thing already have other children or successfully had other pregnancies after the fact. So I wanted to turn to my friends here, you wonderful and supportive women that I love so very much.


Well, I had my beta hcg drawn again today and my levels dropped from 172 to 105, the doctor confirmed that a miscarriage is on the way. I started cramping today and the nurse said I should start bleeding any time now. DH really wants to try another round of clomid, I do too but right now I am just so sad to lose my little bean. so, I guess I am back in the LTTTC game. Thank you all for your kind words and support.

 

[wristwatch24]

I am so sorry to hear about this.

I don't know what else to say but wanted to send you a hug.

 

[tamithomas]

So sorry to hear hun, as someone who just experienced this recently i know the feeling. Got my first bean after 3 years of TTC only to lose it at week 5. It seems so unfair, especially with LTTC'ers but I wouldn't suggest giving up. If need be for your sanity, take a "break" meaning NTNP until you're done your grieving. It's your choice, and we support you for whatever you chose sending you many good vibes

 

[Kimiw]

So sorry to hear hun, as someone who just experienced this recently i know the feeling. Got my first bean after 3 years of TTC only to lose it at week 5. It seems so unfair, especially with LTTC'ers but I wouldn't suggest giving up. If need be for your sanity, take a "break" meaning NTNP until you're done your grieving. It's your choice, and we support you for whatever you chose sending you many good vibes

Thank you so much, and I am sorry for your loss too. It really does seem unfair, it felt like a bad dream. Everything was going good, my levels were increasing the way they were supposed to and DH and I were over the moon. Then here at 6 weeks I am preparing to say goodbye to my little bean. I feel like I am in a really, really bad dream. Thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot.

 

[Kimiw]

I am so sorry to hear about this.

I don't know what else to say but wanted to send you a hug.

The hugs said it all! Thank you

 

[Bump2B]

Kimiw I'm so sad for you!
I just want to scream in frustration for you. This world is not fair!
I'm sure your DH will come round, he probably just doesn't know what to say and theres nothing he can do to make it better.
Hugs xx

 

[Kimiw]

Kimiw I'm so sad for you!
I just want to scream in frustration for you. This world is not fair!
I'm sure your DH will come round, he probably just doesn't know what to say and theres nothing he can do to make it better.
Hugs xx

Thank you, and I am sure he will come around. It just doesn't help when I am feeling so sad to have my husband avoid me when I need him most. The look on his face yesterday during the u/s said it all. He was devistated.

 

[WANBMUM]

KImiw. I am so so so so sorry. I have tears in my eyes for you. You are right, how can life be so cruel after everything?
Stay strong, your dream WILL come true. I am almost certain your oh doesn't blame you, I'm sure he is so devastated for both you and him. Please talk to him, just hug each other and be there for each other.
X

 

[Kimiw]

KImiw. I am so so so so sorry. I have tears in my eyes for you. You are right, how can life be so cruel after everything?
Stay strong, your dream WILL come true. I am almost certain your oh doesn't blame you, I'm sure he is so devastated for both you and him. Please talk to him, just hug each other and be there for each other.
X

Thank u, I am praying for a miracle rightnow

 

[PinkPeony]

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry hun. There are no words... just

I'm sure your DH isn't mad at you or blame you. Sometimes guys just don't work through their grief the same way we do. We put all our emotion out there and they just get aloof and try to handle it all on their own. Give him time.

 

[tamithomas]

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry hun. There are no words... just

I'm sure your DH isn't mad at you or blame you. Sometimes guys just don't work through their grief the same way we do. We put all our emotion out there and they just get aloof and try to handle it all on their own. Give him time.

amen to that..mine within days had no problem watching episodes of shows related to raising a family. In fact it seemed that the one time we didn't want it to play, it was the only thing on tv. No matter what show we watched the topic of either being BFP or raising a baby was the topic. I couldn't deal with, meanwhile my husband it was the opposite. Seemed like the only thing he wanted to watch. Men are so weird when dealing with emotions and grieving

 

[hopefull85]

hi ladies, I'm back! I am about to the end of my rope right now, and don't know what else to do. DH is avoiding me, my doctor was so cold and I am just sitting here feeling crushed. For those of you who may not know, me and DH spend 6 years ttc, and I was on my second round of clomid when I finally got my long awaited bfp. I did not post it in this forum because I respect all of you ladies so very much I didn't want to upset anybody. Well, I went for my first scan yesterday and nothing was seen. The doctor told me the baby was dead. Finally, after 6 years my short lived happiness came to an end. She told me to just let nature take it's course and I should be starting to bleed any day now. I am so heartbroken rightnow I don't even know where to turn.

Something I waited so long for was ripped away from me before it could fully sink in. DH is acting like he is mad at me, (as if it was my fault) and I feel so hopless and alone. I love you ladies so much, and you have always been a wonderful support system. I didn't feel comfortable going to other forums with this because a lot of the other women who have been through this kind of thing already have other children or successfully had other pregnancies after the fact. So I wanted to turn to my friends here, you wonderful and supportive women that I love so very much.

OMG i am so so so so sorry. i am in tears right now. its just so unfair. and nothing anyone can say right now will make you feel better. i dont understand why someone who waits so long for a BFP has to have it ripped away in just the blink of an eye. i just want to yell in frustration for you. all i can say is that its just not fair. i send you lots of hugs if you need a shoulder to cry on im here for you chicka

 

[Pinkie 33]

I'm so sorry for you

Dont rush into deciding anything just now. Give yourselves some time to grieve. We always take our feelings out on those we are closest to, give him time to find his way through it too.

xxx

 

[Ducktales]

im so so sorry, it is heartbreaking when a gift that you have tried for and wanted so badly gets snatched away like that.

My experience with DH was that he just didn't know what to do with himself or to say to me- he was as devastated as me but people kept asking if I was ok and forgetting him. I would probably say both of you are in a bit of shock right now.
Big hugs to you, take your time to grieve together, and dont allow him to bottle up his emotions, cry together and be there for each other.
Big hugs and you will come out of the other side, no matter how dark it is right now.
look after yourself
xxx

 

[Kimiw]

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry hun. There are no words... just

I'm sure your DH isn't mad at you or blame you. Sometimes guys just don't work through their grief the same way we do. We put all our emotion out there and they just get aloof and try to handle it all on their own. Give him time.

I am just so devistated right now. and the doctor is not being very helpful. they sent me for some blood work to check my hcg level and in five days it barely moved up. Went from 137 to 172 in five days, that is not normal at all. She was so cold and heartless about it, as if it was no big deal. Well, it is a big deal to me! DH is very angry about it, I know that, and he admitted he has nothing to say to me. then he walks away. He is still kissing me goodbye before he goes to work but it is in a very distant manner. He won't hug me, and he steps aside when I am going his direction. He is acting kind of mean.

 

[Kimiw]

im so so sorry, it is heartbreaking when a gift that you have tried for and wanted so badly gets snatched away like that.

My experience with DH was that he just didn't know what to do with himself or to say to me- he was as devastated as me but people kept asking if I was ok and forgetting him. I would probably say both of you are in a bit of shock right now.
Big hugs to you, take your time to grieve together, and dont allow him to bottle up his emotions, cry together and be there for each other.
Big hugs and you will come out of the other side, no matter how dark it is right now.
look after yourself
xxx

you are probably right, I guess I just thought he would be as weepy as I am. I have done nothing but cry off and on since yesterday, he on the other hand has been real quite and sleeps a lot.

 

[Kimiw]

hi ladies, I'm back! I am about to the end of my rope right now, and don't know what else to do. DH is avoiding me, my doctor was so cold and I am just sitting here feeling crushed. For those of you who may not know, me and DH spend 6 years ttc, and I was on my second round of clomid when I finally got my long awaited bfp. I did not post it in this forum because I respect all of you ladies so very much I didn't want to upset anybody. Well, I went for my first scan yesterday and nothing was seen. The doctor told me the baby was dead. Finally, after 6 years my short lived happiness came to an end. She told me to just let nature take it's course and I should be starting to bleed any day now. I am so heartbroken rightnow I don't even know where to turn.

Something I waited so long for was ripped away from me before it could fully sink in. DH is acting like he is mad at me, (as if it was my fault) and I feel so hopless and alone. I love you ladies so much, and you have always been a wonderful support system. I didn't feel comfortable going to other forums with this because a lot of the other women who have been through this kind of thing already have other children or successfully had other pregnancies after the fact. So I wanted to turn to my friends here, you wonderful and supportive women that I love so very much.

OMG i am so so so so sorry. i am in tears right now. its just so unfair. and nothing anyone can say right now will make you feel better. i dont understand why someone who waits so long for a BFP has to have it ripped away in just the blink of an eye. i just want to yell in frustration for you. all i can say is that its just not fair. i send you lots of hugs if you need a shoulder to cry on im here for you chicka

Thanks for the hugs, I am just so numb, and a part of me keeps thinking "maybe they made a mistake and everything is fine", but that is my denial sneaking up on the situation. I just don't want to believe this is happening to me. I am so very upset.

 

[Kimiw]

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry hun. There are no words... just

I'm sure your DH isn't mad at you or blame you. Sometimes guys just don't work through their grief the same way we do. We put all our emotion out there and they just get aloof and try to handle it all on their own. Give him time.

amen to that..mine within days had no problem watching episodes of shows related to raising a family. In fact it seemed that the one time we didn't want it to play, it was the only thing on tv. No matter what show we watched the topic of either being BFP or raising a baby was the topic. I couldn't deal with, meanwhile my husband it was the opposite. Seemed like the only thing he wanted to watch. Men are so weird when dealing with emotions and grieving

I just wish this nightmare would end. I feel like I am in a bad dream and just want to wake up so bad. I hope my dh comes around soon, I really need him.

 

[PinkPeony]

I can't believe it. I'm so sorry hun. There are no words... just

I'm sure your DH isn't mad at you or blame you. Sometimes guys just don't work through their grief the same way we do. We put all our emotion out there and they just get aloof and try to handle it all on their own. Give him time.

I am just so devistated right now. and the doctor is not being very helpful. they sent me for some blood work to check my hcg level and in five days it barely moved up. Went from 137 to 172 in five days, that is not normal at all. She was so cold and heartless about it, as if it was no big deal. Well, it is a big deal to me! DH is very angry about it, I know that, and he admitted he has nothing to say to me. then he walks away. He is still kissing me goodbye before he goes to work but it is in a very distant manner. He won't hug me, and he steps aside when I am going his direction. He is acting kind of mean.

ughhhh. That's so awful hun. I can't believe the doctor was so cold. As for your DH situation - the only thing I can think is that I know the way mine is.... when I'm really upset and crying he thinks it's his job to fix me and that's what I'm expecting him to do. But really I just need to let it out and have a cry and get through it. So maybe if your DH is the same way - at this point he is just so devastated and the thought of trying to put you back together is just too overwhelming so he's just shutting down. They always think they have to shoulder all the burden when we just want to share it. I don't know if that helps... but maybe if you let him know that you're not expecting him to fix anything, but you need to know you're not going through this alone and that you want to be there for him too...

 

[uwa_amanda]

My heart aches for you. I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Hopefully, over time, you and your DH will decide to try again. I'd give it time so you can go through grief. I have never been pregnant so I have no idea what you are going through. It's so not fair though...especially for a couple who have been trying for a long time!