so hes contacted me?? now what!!??

[xxfluffyxx]

ok so some of you will have read what my situation is in my last post here!! my FOB has been an absalute a$$hole!! at the beginning was great etc and really supportive! I dnt know whether hes just acting the peick as the birth nears or if its hiis imaturity and age(21)...unfortunatly I love him to bits as we WERE together 4years,(I broke all contact 3weeks ago due to endless discussions and ultimatums and no effort to change his ways on his part AT ALL) It had to be done as every day I was miserable and upset and it was effecting my health and well being.............Anyway im still hanging on to the hope and possibility of him standing up and realising what he is doing and growing the hell up and being there for us! ...I left him alone and heard nothing..(even the day i turned 21) grrrrrrrrrrrrr............yesterday got a text saying"hey had no signal when I was away?how are you doing?everything ok?"
I was actually with my councillor at the time who advised me not to chase after him or even reply! that he SHOULD be thinking of me but thinking isnt enough because if he s=cared enough would have made contact by now or would be by my side!! I didnt reply but am itching to!! i miss him SOOOOO much!! any advice would be great! I cant eat,sleep,concentrate,FUNCTION properly at this stage!! will ignoring him make him come back?wonder what im up to? drive him mental???

 

[billy2mm]

dont reply hun. you need to focus on you and the baby. if he wants to be there for the baby then good on him but as for you 2 making a go of it again - that needs to be the last thing on your mind right now.

 

[sciencemum]

I fully agree with bill2mm. Don't reply, not just yet anyway.
Also, i understand your tourment inside as i get the exact same way them FOB contacts me, I compleatly shut down and go stirr crazy, but from exp, messaging back always makes it worse - leave it a few days.

Also

 

[gemabee]

don't message him back hun... the fact that he sent u such a flippant message when u have been goin stir crazy shows that u are both in seperate places.
u need to concentrate on baby nd u... it worries me that if u text him back / meet up with him / get back together with him in a few days / weeks ur back here even more hurt.
u need to become a stronger person by urself or u'll never be a strong person with someone else.
xxxx
i know its hard hun

 

[xxfluffyxx]

don't message him back hun... the fact that he sent u such a flippant message when u have been goin stir crazy shows that u are both in seperate places.
u need to concentrate on baby nd u... it worries me that if u text him back / meet up with him / get back together with him in a few days / weeks ur back here even more hurt.
u need to become a stronger person by urself or u'll never be a strong person with someone else.
xxxx
i know its hard hun

I cannot cope!! honestly! my heart skipped a beat just because I heard from him!!!!!!! u think not replyin will give him the message that he cant do what he wants,go away 4 a week then come swanning back??.....im sooo losted!

 

[LittleMadam]

It's really hard but don't reply. It sends more of a message than a reply ever would. Don't let him take you for granted.

Hugs. xx

 

[xxfluffyxx]

ok ladies!! I didnt reply and then heard from him again yesterday and today.....my head is melted and I dont know what to do!! he says "of course I care,do you need nethin 4 the baby?,is everything ok? r you goin to let me be a dad? asked me bou the hospital etc...when i feel like iv lost my child i dnt wanna text back,he says he knows hes done things wrong and that things r his fault as much as theyr mine and askd was the baby kicking etc,and how it wont be long till the childs asking wat he wants for christmas!!:0 ,and that hes"here to help" and we have alot to talk about!" WAT THE HELL DO I MAKE OF THAT??? like i said my minds a mess!! i feel like hes just lookin out for himself! he hasnt even said sorry to me for al the nasty shit he put me thru!! I text back sayin the baby was kicking and that wat he was missin out on was priceless,and the baby wouldnt even recognise his voice now!!! and that if thats all he wanted to know i want to enjoy my last couple of weeks and will speak to him when the babys born!! (i wish i knew whethr he cared about me or just the baby...he did get really defensive then and say"please dont be stubborn,wev alot to talk about! im here to help and would like to c him wen hes born and not be left out of the loop" ....??? any ideas ladies?? its just that he isnt here to help,I havnt seen him in nearly a month!! im alone and scared etc....wat to do?? keep leavin him panic or text him back saying"our not here to help nor have you been,if you only care about the baby,wats the point in been in contact? hes not born yet?)" please SOMEONE respond!!! xxx does he care or is he just looking out for himself! (

 

[billy2mm]

you told him you wanted left alone and you would contact him after the birth so do just that - ignore him!

if you need to change your number and only call him from it witheld so he doesnt get it or email him.

get your head together away from him then once you are stronger and baby is here you 2 can talk about what sort of role he is going to play in his life.