So I'm about to tell MIL that we are planning a homebirth...

[rachiedata]

...just because I don't think they have ever considered not doing it, it's just "what people do" to them.

That's spot on that, I think what surprises and/or bothers people about home birth is that often they don't know anyone who has done it, it's out of the ordinary, they don't realise how common it is! A lot of mothers don't realise they have an option that's NOT the hospital.

I have funny memories of my FIL's reaction to us having a home birth, he tried to catch us out by asking MIL what she would have preferred with OH and his brothers, thinking she would say hospital. "I would have much preferred to be at home!" she said They are from a generation when men were shooed out of the delivery room. Both my father and my FIL were very involved dads, giving bottles, changing nappies etc., but I think we can forget that they were the first generation to be quite so involved and gory details can be a step too far for them!

 

[kajastarlight]

How did lunch go?

 

[misspriss]

Oh yes! The update!

Well, at the same time I sent her emails with our Christmas lists (she kept asking for those!) So when I got to lunch she started off with “And I printed off your emails because I had some questions…” Turns out, all she wanted to ask about was the dang Christmas list!

(I have a terrible time asking for stuff. DH always has a running list of expensive things he wants. I do not. I asked for a Gift certificate for prenatal massage and a self-study hypnobabies course, btw!) All she asked about was to confirm the time of my appointment next week.

Funny story about that, the midwife accidently booked me a week early in her schedule and thought I was coming in yesterday at 3:00 instead of the 12th at 3:00. So she already booked someone else for the 12th at 3:00 and I go in at 4:00 now . I will get stuck in traffic on the way home now! Ah well.

Anyway, so she said nothing to be about the home birth. I always have to leave before her and DH though. I wonder if she talked to him about it after I left. I meant to ask him…She had way more questions when I told her I was getting any more scans! To me, this seems much more of a deviation from “normal” than not having scans and not finding out the gender. Ah well. So far no questions!

 

[misspriss]

Okay so I texted DH. Apparently after I left, she just asked DH if he was okay with it, and he said he was fine with it. I guess she was worried that this was something I was pushing on him, and forcing him to go along? Idk.

 

[kajastarlight]

Sounds to me like she really wants to respect your decision even though it doesn't seem like the thing to do for her. That is an awesome sign that she really will be supportive of your choice! Yay

 

[misspriss]

I know. I'm happy she isn't just freaking out and telling us we are crazy, but I did expect her to say something.

She had A TON to say about us not getting a gender scan! Maybe after the scan thing, she has figured out that we will stand our ground on these things though...?

 

[misspriss]

MIL finally said something about our homebirth plans, apparently she is pretty okay with it! She said her only worry really is that SHE won’t be able to handle it, because she is used to a “hospital environment” with “doctor’s all around” and she said she might freak out! I told her it would be fine, my dad would be there and he’s done this before (since I was born at home, with the same midwife!) and my little sister would be around to help keep the mood good. I was glad she was pretty cool with it!

I am just glad she didn't try and tell us it was unsafe or bad or anything. I don't know if she looked into it, or if she thinks it is pretty safe, or maybe she just has learned that I do my research and she is trusting me? We shall see!!

 

[aliss]

MIL finally said something about our homebirth plans, apparently she is pretty okay with it! She said her only worry really is that SHE won’t be able to handle it, because she is used to a “hospital environment” with “doctor’s all around” and she said she might freak out! I told her it would be fine, my dad would be there and he’s done this before (since I was born at home, with the same midwife!) and my little sister would be around to help keep the mood good. I was glad she was pretty cool with it!

I am just glad she didn't try and tell us it was unsafe or bad or anything. I don't know if she looked into it, or if she thinks it is pretty safe, or maybe she just has learned that I do my research and she is trusting me? We shall see!!

Even if she doesn't agree, SOME WOMEN (yay) understand what it was like to be dictated to and are willing to keep their opinions shut

I'm sure she'll be fine. My mom was a complete wreck when I told her, but when she was there with my sister durng the birth (upstairs with my toddler) she apparently did just fine. The reality of home birth is actually quite boring for most family as they are just sitting around waiting

 

[solitaire89]

That's good news! Now you can really start to get excited!!!!

 

[fionar]

MIL finally said something about our homebirth plans, apparently she is pretty okay with it! She said her only worry really is that SHE won’t be able to handle it, because she is used to a “hospital environment” with “doctor’s all around” and she said she might freak out! I told her it would be fine, my dad would be there and he’s done this before (since I was born at home, with the same midwife!) and my little sister would be around to help keep the mood good. I was glad she was pretty cool with it!

I am just glad she didn't try and tell us it was unsafe or bad or anything. I don't know if she looked into it, or if she thinks it is pretty safe, or maybe she just has learned that I do my research and she is trusting me? We shall see!!

Okay, that is seriously cool.

And YAY for a supportive MIL. Makes things easier when people are on your side.

 

[lemongrass]

Thats great! Maybe she knows that it doesn't matter how she handles your labour and birth, what matters is how YOU and the baby handle it!

 

[kajastarlight]

So awesome!