So I've been told I'll be an unfit mother - epilepsy.

[electrokitty]

I'm trying to conceive my first, and we told a few friends today, and some of the comments have really upset me.
Yeah, I have fit, big ones. But not all that frequently and they're getting better.
But today I've been told that even considering having kids is horrible because I wont be able to look after them, and that I'm putting them at risk.

Are there any epileptic mums or people ttc out there?

 

[Eternal]

Of course it doenst make you an unfit mother.

These sort of conditions generally are different from person to person, it clearly can be a concern, esp if your not probably controlled, and im not sure about medications when ttc or pregnant.

Perhaps its something you need to talk though with your doctor.

How do you cope now? are you alone a lot? does your partner work? what would happen if you had a fit when holding the baby? or do you always get warnings first?

If you can control your life without hurting yourself, and have warnings, so if you were holding your baby you could place them safely down and prepare youself so you dont hurt yourself then i cant see any reason not to, except medication, which you need to discuss with your doctor.

If your uncontrolled and hurt yourself often, then i would try and get yourself more controlled first.

But its up to you, no one can stop you having a baby, and whats right for one isnt right for another. so do what you think is right, but make sure you have good support and advice and make sure you know all the potential problems now so you can look for solutions.

Good luck x

 

[electrokitty]

I'm pretty well controlled now, and i've discussed it all with my doctor, which was a great help.

I cope fine now, and i always get a bit of a warning, enough to put a baby somewhere safe, and enough to be somewhere safe myself.

I'm not really alone a lot, we both work, but it's never interfered with that.

Medicationwise, he's said that it should be fine, but he'd do more checks and stuff, so i cant see any reason not to TTC, i mean we've gone into so much detail about it..

It was just a cruel thing for someone to say..

 

[krissy1984]

I don't suffer with epilepsy so no aqdvice but just wanted to give u a . that was an uncalled for, unkind comment, you won't be an unfit mother at all. If your doctor says its ok to ttc than thats all you need to hear. You know your body better than anyone else x

 

[tina_h75]

Wow, what a thoughtless mean thing to say to someone. My mom was grand mal epileptic, totally blind, partially deaf and a brain tumour survivor. After I was born it was suggested that I should be given up as she wouldn't be able to look after me and my older brother. This was 36 years ago, I thought attitudes had changed since then but obviously not much. I wish you and your future family all the best.

 

[thedog]

I agree with the others hunni, of course it doesn't make you an unfit mother! You will be just as a fantastic mummy as others regardless of your epilepsy. Lots of mummies have conditions/illnesses etc xxxx

 

[Eternal]

I'm pretty well controlled now, and i've discussed it all with my doctor, which was a great help.

I cope fine now, and i always get a bit of a warning, enough to put a baby somewhere safe, and enough to be somewhere safe myself.

I'm not really alone a lot, we both work, but it's never interfered with that.

Medicationwise, he's said that it should be fine, but he'd do more checks and stuff, so i cant see any reason not to TTC, i mean we've gone into so much detail about it..

It was just a cruel thing for someone to say..

I cant understand why someone would say something so hurtful, i imagined that if they felt the need to say that sort of comment you were in A&E every night getting stitched up from having fits on the stairs etc.

It sounds like your really sensible and know your body well, I cant see any reason for anyone to say something so hurtful and cruel! You clearly will be an excellent mother.

Wishing you loads of luck with your TTC journey! xxx

 

[electrokitty]

Thankyou guys so much.
I actually brought it up with the person that said it, and she's taken it back and stuff.

Apparently she was having a bad bad and just snapped.

 

[kirst1805]

It wouldn't make you an unfit mother at all, a friend of my mum is epileptic.. She has 3 children and is a fab mum.

xxx

 

[Stargazer77]

lol. What ignorant prat said that?