so nervous....don't want to tell the MIL

[mamaxs4]

3 yrs ago I lost my baby at 10 weeks....now I am at 10 weeks and I am beyond nervous. I'm not spotting, not cramping. I had an ultrasound last week and saw baby with a strong heartbeat at 175 bpm. even so, I'm still nervous...I think I'd be a little better had it not been for the ugly things my MIL said to me when I lost my baby. I don't want any of her nasty attitude and i really don't want any "i told you so's". I don't even want to tell her...I haven't even told my own mother. My mil told me that I didn't need anymore....she said me losing the baby was God's way of saying I didn't need anymore....ugh....I'm nervous enough without her downer attitude.

 

[mamaxs4]

bump...just wanting some advice

 

[NorthStar]

Didn't want to R&R but this woman sounds like a nasty old bitch.

Try not to give her power over you, because at the end of the day it's not her business.

It's up to your OH if he tells her, and this should be handled by him if he wants to keep up a relationship with the poisonous old bat, you should not be getting into any situation which would cause you stress.

 

[mamaxs4]

hahaha.....Sometimes she's nasty. Sometimes she's not. We think she is beginng to become senile. She went so far that she told my daughter that she come up with her name and even came up with the spelling of her middle name....my dd is giving me looks across the table that scream "what is she talking about?" my FIL is casting weird glances at her....My husband and I named our dd! I spelled her middle name as a nod to my maiden name!

She's accused me of milking it when I posted a 10 week baby in utero
when I lost my baby

Also, I really want to go to my dr and beg them to let me hear baby's h/b

 

[LucyLake]

She tore up her right to know with how she treated you during the miscarriage. When we got our rainbow, we were planning to wait until 20 wks to tell my family who had not been very supportive during our mc, we waited until wk 10 only because it was high risk twins and we had had 10 scans by wk 11 and seen 2 Hb's that many times. I think the people who deserve to know are those who stood by you, including your mom. With your mil, I'd wear huge bulky coats for as long as possible try to avoid including her once she does know...tell her you're not having a shower since it's your third, but have one secretly without her. Customize fb statuses to not include her...

Congrats!!!

 

[Starry Night]

Don't tell her until you're ready. There's no real rules that you have to tell parents right away. Definitely don't discuss your fears with her. She has shown herself to not be a safe place. And if she's going a bit senile it might be too stressful for her anyways. And maybe she's worried about you guys? Some people try to hide their fears so it comes out as anger and harshness towards the ones they're worried about.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

 

[mamaxs4]

well, my husband had to tell them because I had a scare...I had to go to the er because of some spotting...turns out I have a partial placenta previa...they said since it's so early that there is a very good chance that the placenta will move as the baby grows. They reacted ok....no comments, they said nothing. Nothing is so much better than what I was expecting!

 

[Starry Night]

I'm sorry that you had a scare but I'm happy that it looks like something that can improve over time. And I agree. Nothing is definitely better than something pessimistic or nasty.

 

[cupcake82711]

My mail is the same way and I'm not even pregnant yet....she feels as though we're not ready and she isn't ready to be a grandma so we shouldn't have one yet

 

[londongirl]

I'm so sorry you had a scare. I really hope it all is ok. It also sux you had to tell your MIL. But I'm glad she said nothing. My thoughts are with you xx