So sad about 3rd bfp announcement in 3 weeks

[fxmummyduck]

In the space of 3 weeks I've been told by a sister and 2 close friends they're pregnant. I've put a pretty good face on it but I've come to bed tonight and I just feel emotionally shattered. I'm so sad and had a cry to my dh who just said I should be happy for them 🙁 Which I am, but I've taken it really badly that my dreams of a 2017 baby are gone and the most recent bfp will be due in Dec. I feel so desperate and pathetic right now, worried I'm going to wake dh up with my crying. No one seems to understand why I'm so down right now.

 

[annio84]

Men just don't get it. It's perfectly normal to be happy for your sister and friends but still sad for yourself. When you get caught up in all this trying business it really has an emotional toll I think.

 

[Eziana]

I can totally understand why you are upset! Of course you are happy for them but you want your own BFP, gosh darnn't! Hang in there. I know it's gotta be frustrating. Good luck and I pray you get your BFP very soon!

 

[pinkmonki]

Big hugs lovely, it's horrible feeling this way, I know.

 

[BlueChameleon]

It is a horrible feeling. It took us a year to conceive #2 and it felt like everybody other than me was getting BFPs.

 

[Sasha92]

My partner is the same he doesn't understand why I'm so upset with the constant pregnanct annoucments. Its not that im not happy for them but its hard to see everybody esle falling pregnant when were putting in so much work, charting, taking OKPs and still getting absolutely nowhere. Hes also always saying:
"dont compare yourself to others"
" its only been 5 months, it takes some couple's 12 months"

Which anoys me because how can you tell me not to compare myself to others then go but others can take 12 months so just wait!

It is hard sometimes I feel I need to come of social media because it just breaks my heart at times.

 

[BSN2MOM]

I completely hope you know that you're allowed to feel this way!!! Sending major virtual hugs your way!
I also get like this, with things like facebook I feel like I see an announcement every freakin' week!!! It's very difficult. Or when I hear that someone had a kid who wasn't trying to or didn't really want kids... it's more difficult than I think people who aren't trying to actively have kids can truly understand. But luckily we can vent here and still put on a good face for our loved ones, no matter how difficult sometimes.

 

[BelleNuit]

I understand. When we first started trying I was convinced I would have a 2016 baby. Then I was convinced I would have a 2017 baby. Now I'm CONVINCED I will have a 2018 baby. But really, who knows lol I've been trying so long that most of those early BFPs that hurt so bad have already been born. I just hope this purgatory will end for me soon. FX you won't have to wait too much longer.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

So sorry that you are feeling like this. It's completely normal though so don't beat yourself up about it. I've been TTC for 15 months now and in this time 4 friends have had babies and my brothers fiance is pregnant. I'm happy for them all but it gets me down thinking that it feels like it's never going to happen for me

 

[wrapunzel]

Very understandable darling. On the opposite side, I have been crying and struggling to cope with

Spoiler

having gotten my BFP on cycle 2 TTC and my firstborn's accidental pregnancy when so many women are infertile. My aunt had just gone through back to back IVF to have two daughters in her early 40s when I fell pg at 20, and I could see the pain in her eyes and desperately wished I could just give her my fertility. And you, and Belle, and LAR, and I know it sounds patronizing but it's true I really do cry about wishing I could give my fertility to someone who "deserves it more" (low self esteem much?) I looked into surrogacy but I don't want to actually risk my own fertility for it. If anyone I'm close to ever asks I will happily carry a naturally conceived baby for them to adopt

I hope it helps at least a tiny bit to hear that it hurts even on the other side.

 

[fxmummyduck]

You are a sweetheart wrapunzel, and I also know that feeling with my best friend who has done two rounds of ivf and my ds I conceived on the first cycle. She is now 9 weeks pregnant with twins and I'm very happy for her. I just feel a bit naive for thinking I would fall pregnant again easily.

Bella I'm remember you from the boards from around last June time when I was ntnp. I'm sorry your journey has turned into a long one.

And to all the other ladies I'm sorry you're feeling the same way. Maybe we can all stick together and support each other. Although I've also been friends with people on here and watched them come and go in that time with their bfps and that's tough too!!

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit more hopeful that we just need to keep trying and it'll happen eventually. Dreading this next tww though.

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks FX, back then I still thought it might happen any cycle. I've pretty well given up on believing it will just happen eventually for us. So we are starting IUI next month.

I can say it's been a long road so far but many women have much longer. I have learned a lot in the process and if I ever do get to be a mom I think I will be better for it.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Belle really hope the iui is the ticket you need. You'll certainly have patience down to a fine art when you become a mum!

 

[BellaBoo0512]

Hi mummy duck. I thought it was you but wasn't sure. Fingers crossed it happens for us both soon sending some baby dust your way

 

[heaveneats]

mummyduck i absolutely get where you are coming from, when ttc #2 i felt like EVERYONE was pregnant except me, i even got off facebook for a few weeks just to calm down. Its not that i wasnt happy for people, i just had a hard time coming to terms that i wanted something so bad it was clouding everything else. I think we have all been there. It will happen for you

 

[fxmummyduck]

Thanks Bella, sending some your way too. I see you're on your first round of Clomid? Really hope it works for you!

Thanks heaveneats, I wish it was something I could escape by not looking at Facebook, but it's family and close friends that message all the time etc I'm happy for them but like you say it's hardly dealing with your own disappointment when you want something so badly.

 

[BellaBoo0512]

Thank you mummy duck. Yes started my first lot of clomid this month. Got to go back to the hospital next Monday for a blood test to find out if I ovulated x

 

[zoe2010]

Girl I completely understand how you are feeling. After finally convincing my husband to start trying (we're technically NTNP, but I keep track of my cycle so I know when I'm ovulating) we started TTC in January and I was certain it wouldn't take long at all... we're now on cycle 4 and last week I found out 2 of my good friends were pregnant. Both were accidents. So this past weekend I knew I was ovulating so we BD a lot! I'm hoping we finally did it and I am feeling very optimistic so we will see. But I know how hard it is to want one so badly and then find out close friends are pregnant. It tears you up inside

 

[Atuck2]

I don't think that it is just men that don't get it, but sometimes other women. No one is even pregnant in my office, but they keep talking about past pregnancies and it just kills me because my only pregnancies ended very soon... I cried at the grocery store last night because the girl in front of me had a very cute bump and was buying a yellow cake...

 

[Aleriya]

I know how you feel. It is this horrible twinge or jealousy and sadness. I get it too, and have for a few years. I am happy for other people, but get this deep sadness.

There are some people who just don't understand this feeling, my partner has told me not to be that way, as well. I would never announce my feelings out loud. Like you I put on a great face, while my heart breaks. Hopefully, we'll all get a success story at some stage, and have that happy moment for ourselves.