So the drama begins!

[dustbunny]

Just received a card from FOB's mother [dated yesterday... they have known for ages]. She had previously said she would not talk about FOB as she was only interested in her own role. The card... far from being congratulatory is basically saying that she doesn't understand how I have come to the conclusion to cut all communication from FOB. That she has bought things for LO and has been buying them since last year [her previous letter said she hadn't bought anything] and wants to come see me in person. She also says that LO is a big part of their lives [they have never asked about the pregnancy... or anything about LO] and that they all want to play a huge role [so why hasn't FOB phoned me or contacted me or bent over backwards to play a role... Ive never stopped any of them]. I just feel so upset, feeling really down and shit anyway and now this. I hate the feeling of being bullied into something... she knows why her son has been 'cut out'... little cutting involved as he was never really there anyway!!! I explained why I don't trust him. I physically feel sick. She implies I am ruining their celebrations of LO's birth... wtf!!! Also of major note... it is his mum fighting his battles again!!!

I just don't want to see her, she hasn't been nice in the slightest the entire pregnancy. She implied via saying "whatever decision you make I'll stand by you" I should have got an abortion... she was saying this after I had told her I wanted to keep the baby. Subsequently in various emails etc she has told me it is all my fault, it is me who has been immature, me who is to blame... FOB is a bloody saint!!! The last I heard from her was NY's when she sent me a card reminding me subtly that FOB was the father... it wasn't me who forgot!! Then a couple weeks ago saying she just wanted to be informed on LO's birth on a grandmother level... sneeky cow!!! Knew I shouldn't have told them or replied to her... it's opened up everything again. Now for months of arguing... she lives 3ish hours away... what substantial role can she play?!?! I also don't like the word substantial... that starts from conception... not as when you like.

Also, not related, had to have my cat of 14 years put down yesterday so just feel super shit!!!

 

[teal]

If she wants to see LO when she should be showing you much more respect. If you don't want her talking about FOB then she should be listening to you. She should be more concerned about her son not stepping up than whether or not you contact him.

Did she what took her so long to get in touch? Surely if she was that interested she would have been asking how you were etc from the start of the month when you were due?!

My exes mum wanted to see my LO but nothing has come of it yet.

It's entirely up to you how much you want to include her. I guess one of the positives is if she's 3 hours away then it's going to be really limited.

I'm disgusted at what she said to you about ruining the celebrations. What the hell is that about?! If anyone's done any ruining it's her son by running away from any responsibility.

None of this is your fault. None of it. It was easy enough for him to ignore the fact he has a child but not for you. You're the one who went through pregnancy and child birth and it's you who is now looking after your LO without expecting anything from FOB.

Try not to ler his mum get to you too much

xxx

 

[Dezireey]

aww hugs hun, sorry about your cat

Sounds like you know where FOB got his wonderful personality from!! Obviously they both live in a different, alternate universe. I cant believe how she is talking such rubbish about FOB when he hasnt made any effort! the lies he must be telling her. Dont know if you feel up to it but i would send one final letter with lots of facts in it and timelines, send a copy to FOB and his mother. i would write stuff in their like its a report, like: ultrasound scans - dates - FOB did not turn up etc. left messages on........, no response. Catalogue, in writing the amouny of effort that man has made. Personally, after that I would leave it open ( if that is what you want for your LO of course) Let them know they can come see the baby..... sounds like they both wont do anything anyway judging by their track record. Both of them appear to be all talk and absolutely no action!

Dont let them stress you and you know anyway that you are the better person hun. They both sound completely bizarre if you ask me.

 

[MommaAlexis]

I'd photocopy her letter saying she bought nothing and this one and send it back, no other reply. Just to prove she just got caught in a lie.

 

[dustbunny]

Thanks ladies. Am going to get some legal advice next week to see where I stand 100% and then formulate a reply. I just know it is going to get messy now and I really do not feel strong enough to retaliate at the moment. I hate hate hate being bullied, especially emotional bullying. Reading the card again, it is horrid.

 

[teal]

Sounds like a good idea getting legal advice, that way you're completely covered.

Grandparents don't have rights. There was something a while ago that they have to go to the court for the right to take you to court for access. (If that makes sense).

Massive hugs

 

[Lemonflower]

Yeah get legal advice hun. Like Teal said grandparents have no rights - especially as sperm donor isn't on the BC. X