So torn about thinking about weaning

[too_scared]

I think I need to start thinking about at least night weaning. My heart is breaking. I really didn't want to help him wean at all. But I'm having so much pain and so much aversion that it's just so, so hard now. Last night he woke at 2 and nursed for 5 minutes (I limit it to that) and went back to sleep for a little while. Then was up again 2:30 until 2:45 and nursed again for a little bit. I really had to limit it then. He went back to sleep, or at least settled and tried to go back to sleep. Then 3:15 he asked for milk again. I told him I couldn't and that it hurt but he cried for it. I tried to nurse him but had to stop after only a minute or 2. He cried again and I tried again but only could stand it for about 2 minutes. He cried more but I told him I really couldn't do it, it was hurting, and he had to go to sleep. He turned over and tossed and turned a bit and settled. I'm not sure how long it took him to fall asleep but he was settled after a little while. I ended up downstairs with his sister at 4 and he woke and said mom at around 5 but went back to sleep. I literally didn't sleep last night.

I love that we have the special bond that we do but I feel like it's starting to cause strain, too. I am so sad that I'm still suffering so badly with aversion. And the pain. My gosh it's bad. Only getting worse. I just got a Rx for apno do hopefully that will help soon. It's starting to really hurt with munchkin, too. They both have lip ties but there's nothing I can do about that. He never caused pain until I was pregnant.

I just don't know what to do. My sister is just trying to help but she keeps suggesting his own bed/room and weaning him. But, he's just not ready. He really depends on nursing. I limit it a lot in the day. I know what's not letting him wean all on his own but he would nurse all day given the chance. The only time I let him nurse longer than 5 minutes is when he's going to sleep at night. Then I still have to unlatch him most times before he's ready but I don't do it until he's asleep. Usually I can distract myself with my phone for about 10 minutes then. He would literally sleep with his mouth on me all night if I'd let him. He's definitely not ready for his own bed yet, either. He regularly reaches out for me at night. He sleeps with his feet tucked under me. I don't want to force him out of bed.

I just don't know what to do. I know he's not ready to wean but it's causing me so much stress. He doesn't always have bad nights like that. He's started sleeping longer again lately since his sister was born 2 months ago. He has never slept a whole night without waking at least 2 times a night. I think maybe I'm just whining today. Thank goodness dh is a teacher and still off because I went back to sleep (went to sleep... Not back to sleep) at 8 until 12 today. On his birthday, when he's the one who should be sleeping in.

Sorry for the novel. I'm just so torn. :'(

 

[HopefulEm]

Hey too_scared, sorry to hear about your troubles. I've heard it's quite common to gain a strong instinctual aversion to nursing LO in the later half of subsequent pregnancies, do you think that's what the pain is?

I wouldn't give bedsharing up. It's such a great bonding time and I don't think it would help you with your problem.

Sorry I don't have a solution for you, but I hope it works out soon!

 

[too_scared]

Thank you.

The aversion started almost as son as I got pregnant. It's been about 11 months now. It sucks

I think the pain is from two kiddos with a shallow latch. I'm always working on it but I haven't gotten them both to latch deeply for long.

I definitely won't be stopping bed sharing. Not until they ask for their own beds/rooms. I just love it. I love how he tucks his feet under my leg. I love turning over and seeing him there any time I want. I love waking up in the morning to his sweet face. I'm going to miss them so, so much when they go into their own rooms.