So torn...

[pinkclaire]

Oh girls, I'm sooo torn about what to do!

We had James when I had just finished uni, so I've never really kick started my career properly.

Well now my husband has left his job (he was in the forces and coudnt stand being away from us both) and has started his own business but hes not really making any money as such.

Sooo, (sorry for the long story!) I feel under pressure to go back to work and get us out of this financial difficulty, which will mean full time to make it worth it after deducting the benefits we get and childcare.

I really want James to have a sibling close to his age, (if I'm that lucky) but if I start my career I really need to stick at the job for 2-3 years before any interference and I wont be able to start this new job until Sept next year and I just dont think I can wait that long for another baby (talking 3 -4 years).

So I'm really torn about doing whats best for us as a family, is it going back to work and getting us some money so we're in a better financial position, or being there for James while hes still young and him having a sibling. AHHHHHH

Sorry not really after any replies just needed a rant! xx

 

[mrsessex]

Personally;

There's never a 'right' time for a baby

Ive known of people that have put careers before children (not that you are as such) and later regretted it due to one thing and another.

I think a sibling is such a blessing if you can give your son this....

I have two boys fairly close in age 2 years 10 months between them and they are like best friends...its lovely and so warming for us to know they have company through life

Saying that...a bigger age gap isnt a bad thing

We're trying now for our 3rd...and fingers crossed we 'fall' quickly again like the last two...they'll be an 8 -9 yr gap from our youngest... which ive no problem with

You obviously dont wanna live on the breadline etc no body wants that....but take into account that a second child will bring more financial pressure.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide x

 

[pinkclaire]

Your so right about there never being a right time!

Well I supose if I start this job and I just 'happen' to fall pregnant theres not a lot they can do is there!

 

[chickenchaser]

Hi Pinkclaire, I don't know if this helps but there is 2 years between my brother and sister then I turned up 5 years later, i wasn't planned. Anyway I am much closer to my brother and sister than they are to each other. Age doesn't have anything to do with siblings getting on, if you want to stay at home for Jimmy and feel thats the best thing for your family go ahead but don't feel you need to put your career to one side so he can have a brother/sister he can play with. If you can wait 4 years (and god that's hard, about the same time I will have had wait to TTC) you will be more finacially secure to enjoy your family.
Good luck with your decision, I feel for you.