mugzy
Mummy to 2 beautiful boys
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2008
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I was talking to mum and she told me she had to go to the doctor today. I was staying with her when I went into labor, and this was the same doctor I had gone to see. He examined me, told me it was just braxton hicks and that I should take some tylenol. So my mum says she told him that I had lost the baby, and he replies "Yes, I heard. But you know it's very common to lose a baby in the first 12 weeks. It usually means there was a problem with the fetus". So my mum tells him that I was actually 28 weeks pregnant. He replies "Oh, I didn't know she was that far along". It made me realise how incompetent this dick really is. I told him that I was having frequent painful contractions and that I hadn't felt the baby move all day. He should have known there was a problem. And now I just feel angry. Angry at him for not sending me to the hospital right away. Angry at myself for not trusting my instincts and insisting that I go to the hospital right away. Angry that I went to stay with my parents in the first place when there is no decent medical care nearby. If I'd been at the hospital earlier, I would have had that damn injection for his lungs sooner and maybe he would have survived. He should have survived 
Don't do the whole "what if" or "if I had" then maybe... it will drive you nuts because you never know what would have resulted in any of those instances... There was nothing that you could have done... I know nothing I can say will make it better, but hope your feeling better soon. 
