So very sad.

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by Hope13, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Hope13

    Hope13 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies

    I am back in tttc after a chemical pregnancy. I was 4wks and 4 days and started bleeding last night. Doc confirmed the above. How cruel is nature. After 2 years TTC, my husband and I thought this was it. He is devastated and I really feel I have let him down. He was so excited. How could I have been so thoughtless to tell him so early on but after 12 positive HPT and one CB digital stating I was four weeks, I couldn't keep it to myself. I am devastated, just devastated. I have an appointment with a FS next week and I am praying he gives me clomid. I have had bloods, HSG etc all done and have been waiting so long to see him. If he doesn't give me Clomid, I think it will mentally finish me off! I'm 37 and time is really running out for me, especially as I have PCOS. Just looking for a bit of support on here as I am sat at home, in tears and cannot face anyone. I should be at work but cannot face going. Maybe tomorrow. Thank you ladies. xxx
     
  2. tweedy

    tweedy Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss, don't beat yourself up about telling your OH, you had the positive result and you wanted to share it with him, as you should. i know you are probably feeling devastated, and that nothing will take that away, but try and look at the positives, you were able to get pregnant in the 1st place, after i lost my 1st baby in 2007, i was horrified, then so happy to get pregnant again so quick, only to have an ectopic pregnancy, i was then surprise to get preggers again and have a lovely daughter. now after a miscarriage in nov, the only thing that is getting me through is that it was in the right place, just stopped growing at 8 weeks, so there is hope for me yet.

    hopefully you will be able to gt some answers from you doc, just give yourself the time to grieve for your loss, 4 weeks pregnant or 12 weeks pregnant, you still had so many hopes and dreams for that baby and it is tragic that you have lost it.

    good luck next week.

    Trudy x

    p.s. my husband and i took over 14 months to fall pregnant the 1st time, sadly to lose it, and i was only 26, every one is different.
     
  3. Hope13

    Hope13 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your kind words Trudy. Means a lot. I have spent the past few days dreaming of positive things and for this to happen, there is no words to describe how I feel. My DH is at work and keeps ringing me and he feels helpless and so sad. I just want him here with me with his arms around me telling me it will all be ok. Its not like I am bleeding a lot either or have terrible cramps. I'm still hungry which is silly considering what I am going through and there is only blood when I wipe (TMI). Its like the process is still torturing me and I would prefer everything out of my system so I can try to move on a little. Thank you again though and lets hope we both get a BFP again soon (although at the moment, I don't think I could ever buy another test again). x
     
  4. tweedy

    tweedy Well-Known Member

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    It is a very stressful time and one of the worst things is that you loss control of your body and your hormones, it is very hard and i feel for you. if your husband needs to be with you, then just curl up together and let the grieving take place, although you were only just over 4 weeks, you knew you were pregnant and it is very hard, i met a woman who lost a baby 3 weeks after birth and was telling her that i couldnt imagine what she was going through my losses, we all 6 weeks, 8weeks and 12 weeks, but she said it was a still my baby, and she was able to say she was glad to see his face, i never got that chance.
    as for the bleeding, i'm afraid i can't be of too much help, my miscarriages were missed and i choose to have a d & C so the bleeding and pain was only slight, with my ectopic however the bleeding was very light, some clots for about 2 weeks, before the diagonsed an ectopic, so i would perhaps see if you can get some bloods drawn at the docs, just to make sure your hcg levels are decreasing and all is coming away as it should, you don't want to risk your fertility any further.

    apart from that i just wanted to say, that i am truely sorry you have to go through this, it is horrible and it will be very hard to accept that you will not have your little bean, but after my daughter was born, after 14 months of TTC then 2 losses, i was so happy we got her, if i had carried either of my other babies, i wouldn't be bless with her personality, her sweetness, etc i know this might not be of much comfort, but it has helped me.

    look after yourself and your hubbie, fingers cross you get back on track soon x
     

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