Soapy breast milk?

[Ras137]

Dad here, this evening I was cleaning my wife's breast pumping kit with soapy water. While rinsing, I forgot to remove a rubber piece that the milk flows through and my wife subsequently pumped (she pumps and bottle feeds during the overnight hours). Anyway, after pumping one breast she said it smelled like soap, I smelled it and sure enough it did. I of course jumped on the internet to search for "soapy breastmilk" and sure enough many posts came up and it seemed to be a common problem, nothing to worry about so she pumped the other breast. Well upon further reading it was stored breast milk that could smell like soap not freshly pumped. So after she was done I looked at the components and noticed my problem of not removing and rinsing this rubber piece that had gotten soap inside of it.

Now I told my wife I didn't feel comfortable giving our 10 day old son breast milk that had even a small amount of dish soap and that I thought she should mix some of what she had pumped previously with some formula they gave us from the hospital. Well, she blew up at me. She said I was being paranoid and then she complained about "wasting an hour" (it was really 45 mins, 20 mins each breast and a few minutes in between) that she could have been sleeping. I told her I was sorry that it was my fault for wasting the hour but I was just erring on the side of caution. That just made things worse, she said I was making her feel like a bad mother and stormed off to bed.

Now my question is: Does a little bit of soap, pose a risk? Or am I just being paranoid? I've gotten so upset that I can't sleep (its 3:30 AM as I type this). I know in an adult a small amount of soap is no big deal but I can't help but think a small amount for a baby me be a big deal. My thinking is, even if it doesn't make him sick, even just uncomfortable, that will make him fussy and difficult for longer than the hour wasted pumping milk she didn't use.

Also any tips on handling the wife? I know she wasn't sleeping well before the baby was born and not much since. So I'm hoping this little blow up is just a product of that.

Thanks.

 

[Tournesol]

Aww, I couldn't read and run!
I really feel for you, I know I was more than a little unreasonable to my hubby in those sleep deprived early days.
I really don't know for sure, but my opinion is, if there's enough soap in the milk that you can smell it, then you probably shouldn't use it.
Although, maybe you've convinced yourself that you can smell soap because you think it's in there. Have you or your wife tried tasting it? If it doesn't taste soapy, i would say it's fine.

Just be as patient as you can be with your wife, she's tired and sore and her hormones are running crazy. She won't be like this forever, promise!

 

[Rachel_C]

Weeelllll call me a hormonal sleep-deprived grump but 'handling the wife' is maybe part of the reason she's cross at you! She doesn't need handling, she needs treating like a normal human being who has spent an hour pumping milk which you are wanting to throw away due to a mistake you made. Maybe she's making it look easy, I guess she is 'just sitting there' but it's really not. I actually think you should be grovelling . Perhaps some chocolate, a foot rub, maybe some puppy dog eyes and promises to personally sniff every part of the breast pump before every single use from now on?

I wouldn't worry about the washing up liquid. Presumably you diluted it in quite a lot of water so it's not like you're feeding it straight. If it tastes okay to you, go ahead and offer it to the baby. Babies are VERY good at refusing something that isn't right for them so if the baby takes it, I'd happily give it. If baby takes it, DON'T make the mistake of attributing every last hiccup and gurgle to 'soapy breastmilk we should have poured away'. Just hold the baby yourself and deal with it

If you can taste soap yourself or the baby refuses it, more grovelling . Support your wife as well as you can to make up the extra poured away. Flapjacks (good for milk production), chocolate (good for the soul), a hot bath with no baby, lots of water and try to let her get as much rest as you can. I'm sure she'll calm down and one day it'll be something she laughs at with you, but for now just treat it as something serious. My LO is nearly 2 and I think I'd still sob if I had to pour away a whole hour's milk.

 

[teal]

I would have been devastated at pouring out an hours worth of milk. I agree with above - get grovelling!

 

[MommyJogger]

Weeelllll call me a hormonal sleep-deprived grump but 'handling the wife' is maybe part of the reason she's cross at you! She doesn't need handling, she needs treating like a normal human being who has spent an hour pumping milk which you are wanting to throw away due to a mistake you made. Maybe she's making it look easy, I guess she is 'just sitting there' but it's really not. I actually think you should be grovelling . Perhaps some chocolate, a foot rub, maybe some puppy dog eyes and promises to personally sniff every part of the breast pump before every single use from now on?

I wouldn't worry about the washing up liquid. Presumably you diluted it in quite a lot of water so it's not like you're feeding it straight. If it tastes okay to you, go ahead and offer it to the baby. Babies are VERY good at refusing something that isn't right for them so if the baby takes it, I'd happily give it. If baby takes it, DON'T make the mistake of attributing every last hiccup and gurgle to 'soapy breastmilk we should have poured away'. Just hold the baby yourself and deal with it

If you can taste soap yourself or the baby refuses it, more grovelling . Support your wife as well as you can to make up the extra poured away. Flapjacks (good for milk production), chocolate (good for the soul), a hot bath with no baby, lots of water and try to let her get as much rest as you can. I'm sure she'll calm down and one day it'll be something she laughs at with you, but for now just treat it as something serious. My LO is nearly 2 and I think I'd still sob if I had to pour away a whole hour's milk.

^^^^^ 1,000,000x this! I'm also on the boat with 'taste it'. No soap taste, then you're good to offer it. Also wanted to add that you're worried about soap on his tummy, but a baby's first taste of formula can leave them in serious stomach upset. I'd have breathed fire at DH if this had happened to us; you got off easy. Sorry, dude, I know this is rough on you, too, and you probably already feel terrible about it, but at least you're never going to make that mistake again.

 

[DaisyAnne]

From the sleep-deprived mom perspective, let me tell you I cried and felt horribly devastated when I spilled just half an ounce of milk in those early days! "Crying over spilled milk" is a whole different phrase to me now after being a milk machine and how much each ounce of milk meant!
I also understand your perspective, and I don't want to disrespect your side in any way, because you are both just trying to be good to your baby!

I don't know what I'd do...if I decided to use it, I might mix it with some of the other milk just to have less in there, I dunno! Honestly, it'd probably be ok, but I also understand the concerns- one of you should taste it. Just whatever you do, approach it knowing that each ounce of milk is viewed like an ounce of gold in your wife's eyes... she can't just throw it out and start over no big deal. And especially since it was pumped during those precious/horrible nighttime hours it counts double! Not trying to make you personally feel bad at all, as it was an honest mistake and you were contributing in the way you could by washing the stuff- I'm sure that really, really helps take yet another thing off your wife's plate. I just want you to understand where she's coming from!

 

[MommyJogger]

Yeah, kudos for helping how you can! My husband was/is incredibly helpful and even when all our kids are grown, I really don't think I will ever, ever, ever forget the feeling that he really had my back. Even now a year later when I look at him, part of me remembers sitting up together at night and him bringing me a glass of tea. Knowing that we'd get through it together. Yay for great partners (edited for all-inclusiveness) everywhere!