solicitors tomorrow (updated)

[~RedLily~]

sorry in advance that this is so pointless. ive got an appointment at the solicitors tomorrow to get advice on where i stand with fob. some of you might remember me posting about how concerned i was about him because of his mothers problems and that they do drugs so im basically going to find out what rights he has and IF it ever came to it would he stand a chance in court. its so pathetic but im actually really nervous about going. i dont know why because all i will be doing is telling her the situation and just chatting about it. i'll probably only be like half an hour as well so i dont know why im worried about it. i cant tell anyone really about it though because i can imagine i would just get the response from my friends i always get 'its his baby as well, he has a right' and they would probably tell him. at the moment im just getting advice and dont want him to know about it because im hoping he will basically except my terms as i plan to be fair.

 

[Jordans_Mom94]

Good Luck Girl

 

[futuremommy91]

That's a good idea, and I think it's great to prepare yourself. I'm sure the meeting will be very informal and just a quick chat. They aren't there to judge you- just to inform you of possibilities.

I don't really remember the situation too much with your FOB- is he interested in being involved?

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

I'd be nervous too, hon. But don't worry, I'm sure everything will go just fine! Good luck and keep us updated!
And don't listen to your friends if they're just going to make you feel bad about it, they aren't in your situation, and while they may know him or his family on a friend basis, we all know that people are 100% different when it comes to pregnancy and children.

 

[~RedLily~]

thank you. my mum is going with me so that helps me feel a bit better.

yeh he does, thats actually what scares me, he already told his sister he would be bringing the baby to visit her before christmas (he never mentioned this to me). so im worried that he thinks he can just go on holiday with her. im happy for him to have supervised visits and me to take the baby to see his mum but i dont want him looking after her without me. he lives with his mum, she has mental health issues and does drugs and he is basically very immature and i dont think capable of looking after a baby. so im worried about him expecting to have her on weekends, days out or whatever.
EDA: ally i try not to take any notice of friends because they are quick to judge and throw their opinions in but i know for a fact if it was their baby they would be totally different it wouldnt be as black and white as hes the dad.

 

[futuremommy91]

thank you. my mum is going with me so that helps me feel a bit better.

yeh he does, thats actually what scares me, he already told his sister he would be bringing the baby to visit her before christmas (he never mentioned this to me). so im worried that he thinks he can just go on holiday with her. im happy for him to have supervised visits and me to take the baby to see his mum but i dont want him looking after her without me. he lives with his mum, she has mental health issues and does drugs and he is basically very immature and i dont think capable of looking after a baby. so im worried about him expecting to have her on weekends, days out or whatever.
EDA: ally i try not to take any notice of friends because they are quick to judge and throw their opinions in but i know for a fact if it was their baby they would be totally different it wouldnt be as black and white as hes the dad.

If he does have drug problems and especially if he lives in an environment with that constantly going on I really can't imagine he would get more than supervised visits with bubs. But glad your mum is going- from what I've read in the past about her she sounds very supportive and a good person to have around right now!

 

[~RedLily~]

i feel bad because im actually relying on the fact that its so bad because if it wasnt i would still be worried but it wouldnt stand in court iykwim. he also has a criminal record for fighting or something so that will definitely work in my favour. yeh the environment is so not good for a baby, they even have their dealer coming over and 'friends' who come over to get stoned all the time.

yeh my mum is amazing i hate to admit it but if it wasnt for her i truely dont think i would be able to have this baby because she has helped me so much.

 

[futuremommy91]

i feel bad because im actually relying on the fact that its so bad because if it wasnt i would still be worried but it wouldnt stand in court iykwim. he also has a criminal record for fighting or something so that will definitely work in my favour. yeh the environment is so not good for a baby, they even have their dealer coming over and 'friends' who come over to get stoned all the time.

yeh my mum is amazing i hate to admit it but if it wasnt for her i truely dont think i would be able to have this baby because she has helped me so much.

You would hun- it's amazing what a person can deal with! But I'm glad you don't have to

But the fact that he has a record is good (that sounds horrible haha). if it comes to be disputed you have proof, etc of why he couldn't have her alone at his house or for overnights.

 

[~RedLily~]

thank you. it calms me down having someone agree with me because it stops me worrying that i might be in the wrong and not have a case lol.
yeh im glad hes got a record, it does sound bad though

 

[lily123]

Aww good luck hunni
Sounds like you are definitely doing the right thing by checking
Keep us updated x x x x x x

 

[~RedLily~]

well im going now so wish me luck! lol

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Good luck xxx

 

[bbyno1]

awwh goodluck,dw itl all go fine x

 

[Lauraxamy]

Best of luck x

 

[leoniebabey]

Good luck, i hope eveything goes fine hun
x

 

[~RedLily~]

well i went and was only there for like 10 minutes and got my mum to do most of the talking lol. she basically said that he cant do anything without my say, so the whole thing of him taking her to visit family cant happen. if i dont put him on the BC he wont have any parental rights unless he goes through the courts (he cant be put on the BC if he isnt there when i register the birth anyway) and if he was to try and get custody or visitation the court would send a welfare officer to assess if it would be safe and imo it wouldnt be with the drugs and his mum there. so i do feel better that without the courts getting involved what i say goes and even if the courts do get involved i dont think he would have much of a case especially as i will be willing for him to have supervised visits and i would even be prepared to take the baby to his house for his mum to see providing there is absolutely no drugs there (one of his mums mental problems is she wont leave the house so its doubtful she would be able to come see the baby) so i think they would see i was being fair.

thank you everyone!

 

[StarBound]

Im on my way to becoming a solicitor and can tell you now , it will be informal . All she/he will want is the details and will tell you exactly where you stand. But dont be worried they arent as intimidating as they sound

 

[PleaseBaby]

Glad itwent well for you, it must be such a relief to know that you'll be able to keep bubs safe even if it goes to court x

 

[leoniebabey]

Glad everything went okay !

 

[futuremommy91]

Glad it went well hun. And I agree- you def aren't being unreasonable and the fact that you are willing to let him have sup. visits and even take Ella over to his mum's house shows that you aren't being spiteful. And if it eventually has to be settled by courts (hope it won't) the judge will see that.