Some people just amaze me. Hurtful (Rant) Update pge 2

[rachjim98]

I thought I had my emotions in check and was getting past or at least dealing with everything pretty good. I mean I handled the EDD well and my Birthday was OK... That was until...
Sunday evening I got a phone call from my cousin. I thought is was a belated B-day call, wish it was now

She calls and says "Hey chick you had that baby yet"? And there it was the Smack in the face... The heart in your throat, wanna throw up feeling. I haven't spoken to her since October 08 Halloween exactly. when we found out we were having a girl I called the family and let everyone know it was a SHE!
I was under the impression my Mom told everyone, so I wouldn't have to go through that. I had to tell her we lost the baby.
Instead of just saying sorry.. she wanted details, she wanted to know what it was like.
Couldn't she tell by my tears and the frog in my throat this was not a subject I wanted to talk about. It was like she was doing a interview.
It was so hurtful and I cant believe she did that.

I called my Mom and asked why she didn't tell everyone and she says she did. My cousin already knew according to my mom.
Why would she do something so hurtful? I just don't understand why people are so cruel.

OK Rant over.. But my feelings are really hurt

 

[sassy_k83]

Oh my gosh! I cant imagine how awful that was for you, im so sorry you have had to hear that, especially from a family member.

I try to remember that when some people are being insensitive that its due to a lack of understanding. Someone that hasn't been through this, will struggle to find the appropriate words to say and in many cases may say nothing at all which can at times make us feel worse. But I can understand completely why you are hurt and you deserve a big hug

xxxxx

 

[rachjim98]

Thanks Sassy, after reading my rant I kinda feel silly. At least my cousin was thinking of me.
I think what has me so upset it that she forgot I lost my Daughter. Like it was no big deal... Then to 20 question me about it. This past week has just been rough and I didn't need the extra crap! It just hurts
I should have her here with me and it hurts like hell I don't

 

[DiddyDons]

so sorry babe

 

[embo216]

Thats disgusting, how could she do that to you? I'm so sorry you had to go through that x

 

[ClaireyF]

i feel for you hun, if she's never been through it then she will never know the pain that you have felt, physically and emotionally. before my mc i could never imagined how much it hurt and after i had the mc the questions that people asked were unbelievable! even my boss asked me about stuff like that on my first day back to work when he took me out to a coffee shop of all places.

xx

 

[rachjim98]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and the hugs... I just needed to get that out and I knew you guys would understand

 

[sassy_k83]

Thats what we are here for hun. Atleast we have eachother and we all know what we are going through and the encouragement we need at times like this. So you rant away babe we are human and need to get things out

 

[buffycat]

that's just horrible....how insensitive can people be?!

i'm sorry hun.....

 

[RobenR]

I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that.

 

[Chilli]

I expect she (stupidly) was trying to support you in a way. We all react in different ways, I get offended because poeple don't ask me about it!! Like others have said we have no idea what it's like til it happens to us so we can't expect others to know. I'd like to somehow raise awareness, but don't know how. I'm thinking of ideas if anyone has any...

 

[rachjim98]

My Aunt (cousin's Mom) just called about a hour ago, wanting to apologize. I guess Heather called her upset that she acted so stupid. she says Heather (my cousin) called her crying this morning and didn't know how to call me back. I just got off the phone with my cousin (I called her after the conversation with my Aunt) was a nice but intense conversation, a lot of crying and emotions came out on both ends.

I think she now knows how to handle this a better way, and I will try not to judge people by their lack of knowledge on the subject.

I agree with you Chilli and the other Ladies on here if they have never been here then they have no idea how to help. And a lot of time they put their big fat foots right in their mouths.

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Oh hun just what you need, thinking of you and sending

 

[Widger]

Sorry you had to go through that. I'm feeling annoyed today too and thought I was doing well considering. Hope you feel better soon x

 

[shortiecjx]

 

[rachjim98]

Oh my goodness!!!! I am so fired up I could spit nails... Some how this got turned around on me.. My Mom calls and says she thinks I need to call and apologize because I came across rather HARSH to my younger cousin today... I am turning my phone off I just don't even know what to say or do... I want to blow something up I am so pissed off.
Little whinny brat went back and told them that I blew up on her. Well I did, but only after she stated that it could of been worse at least she wasn't a full term baby she was only 20weeks. So I did say a few things that might have been Harsh.. but she is lucky I wasn't in the same state or I would of beat her tail!!!
This has been awful 2 days and I just want them to be over... I believe this has just ended our relationship, I honestly don't think I can talk to her again for a very long time. And the part that makes me so mad is I thought we had gotten somewhere when we spoke. Unbelievable.. Now I know why I moved away from those people, I have a hard time believing we have the same blood running through our veins.. Sorry Ladies need to vent that..

DH is at work I called him crying and he says he is picking up some dinner and wine, guess I am going to drink my troubles away tonight!

 

[sassy_k83]

This really isn't your day is it hun?!

I would of reacted the same way if someone had said that to me!!

I know its much harder said than done but try to rise above any comments like that, they really have no idea!!

All my love sweet, I hope it does resolve itself for you.

 

[rachjim98]

i'm speechless I dont even know how to react to this it hurts my heart.. How did I turn into the bad guy here, I just dont even know.. I cant stop crying I'm just a giant mess!! My emotions are on over drive.. Maybe I am being overly emotional if there is such a thing?

 

[Chilli]

Oh hun, that's crap. People just don't seem to realise how deeply affected we all are. We didn't loose a bloody tooth you know it was our child!!!!!! That's what I want to shout at people!!! I have been on the other end of this - my sister doesn't speak to me and I think it's down to how I reacted when she miscarried, but I simply had no idea what she needed/how she felt/ how to help... Try not to let it spoil your relationship with anyone, it has torn my family apart! What irony that I was to have MC myself 4 years later huh? You have my sympathies though

 

[rachjim98]

I think I am just going to toss this one up to being Big ball of emotions.. I am sorry I have just went on and on and on. Thanks guys for all the support.