Something you learned about parenting in your life...

[myangel167]

So, you learn something from every single person you meet...and most of the time it changes you a little. You learn how you WANT to be, or how you DON'T want to be.

Whether you are a parent or not yet, What is something that you learned in your life about parenting?

...It could be a small lesson that you learned that made you realize something about yourself, and what kind of mom you want to be, or something that you want to teach your child, or do with your child, etc.

just curious

 

[MellyH]

Hmm good question.

From my mum, I've learned that actions speak louder than words, but that sometimes you just need to hear the words as well.
From my dad, I learned that moving away from the city where your kids live is a shitty move, no excuses.
From my sister, I learned that everyone is different, and amazing in their own way, and not to put expectations on one sibling because of another.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

That you don't always get it right.

And that's ok. So long as no one gets hurt!

 

[BumpySomeday]

To put it short and sweet... I have learned to never try to BUY my children's love. I will always show my affection and love for them from the moment they are born.

 

[apreslaube]

Hmm. I definitely have learned a lot on what not to do, like how bad emotional manipulation can F up your kids. With my education in psychology and child development, I've learned a lot in that way as well. In getting married and being close to TTC, we have learned who would not make very good babysitters, by their own admission! LOL one friend was like, I will sit her in front of the TV and give her junk food. Don't know if she's kidding about that one… As little TV as possible in general, but *ideally* basically none till they are 2, as it damages eye development. Obviously very little junk food. Little things here and there. Rainbowdrop - absolutely!!!

 

[Reidfidleir]

I've learned that as soon as you think you have it going on and a good routine the baby/toddler will be like "ha! Gotcha" and completely change the routine the next day.

Patience! I thought I was trying hard but I have to try so much harder.

Sometimes you have to fake it til you make it.

If you're frustrated the child will get worse because they pick up on your emotions. Although easy to say and hard to do you must put on a happy face and take deep breaths.

Don't go by the books every child is different!!! Read your baby. I cannot stress this enough. When I would second guess myself that is when I would stress. Over nothing.

What I've learned from my mother: encourage your child to reach goals in life but it is never appropriate to live vicariously through them. If you do you will hurt them and yourself. Always appreciate them for who they are and if they have not led the life you envisioned for them (again-don't) it's ok as long as they're healthy happy and not hurting anyone.

Wow. Sorry didnt mean to turn this into a cliche novel. But it's from my heart and experience.

 

[myangel167]

for me, i learned a lot about what NOT to do.

I will not keep secrets. (of course i think there are certain things kids shouldnt know, but you get what i mean. I want to be open and honest with my kids about most things so that they feel comfortable talking to me whenever they need to)

i dealt with a lot of abandonment issues growing up, (i was raised by my maternal g-parents) and I absolutely do not want that for my kids. I want them to know that I will always always be there for them. I want them to feel loved and wanted. I want to always be supportive and i want my kids to be confident, balanced, happy children.

Also, a major thing for me...is I want my kids to have morals. I was never talked to about sex or boys or emotions or relationships, and to be honest, I sort of became a prude. I'm not expecting my kids to be as close minded as me, but I want them to def have respect for themselves and others, and when they reach their teenage years to know how to treat others and how to make the right choices.

Blah, sorry I'm going on and on. I have so many more things to share also but i'll shut up now. haha

 

[sequeena]

I learned that being a good mother, doesn't mean being perfect. I am human, I cannot do and be everything. If my son is warm, fed, clothed and loved I am doing a good job.

I have learned that patience really is a virtue. My son may take years to do something (like sleep!!!) but it will happen, and I must not worry so much about it.

I have learned that being a mother means developing a thick skin. Once you are pregnant everyone has an opinion. If I am confident in my parenting choices then I will not allow anyone to make me feel bad for making those choices.

I have learned from my own childhood that I will always have an open relationship with my son. I will tell him that he can come to me with whatever problems he has, I will never judge and I will always protect him. I want my son to know that he is loved always and that I would truly do anything for him.

I've also learned that it's really fricking easy to buy your child a toy every single time you're out shopping - that is not a good idea. A) you get over run with toys B) your child doesn't appreciate what they have.

I've learned that my son is an individual, not a statistic and not a label. He is his own person with his own personality and his own quirks. I treasure him and I encourage him to be who he is, no matter what.

 

[MamaByrd]

I learned all about what not to do as well.

From my father, I learned infidelity ruins your family. It could also potentially ruin your children.

From my mother, I learned to not put anyone, especially random men, ahead of your children. I learned not to treat your children as competition and that love is not only shown financially. I learned to never criticize or teach them bad habits. I learned to not be selfish, and put your kids at the bottom of the list of priorities.

I hope I can make all the right choices.

 

[jren]

I learned what not to do. My parents were both terrible. From my mother, I learned that just because you marry another man and have another child you shouldn't forget about the needs of the first. You should never allow your child to go without the basics. From my father, I learned not to place alcohol over your family. I learned to not criticize your children and to not judge them for everything. I learned that all a child really needs in life is to feel safe and loved. I think everything else is secondary.

 

[ValentinesGal]

I've learned that you must slow down and enjoy your kids while they're young...it's too easy to get caught up with wanting to sprint to each milestone.

That silence in a home with a toddler who's awake is never good.

That children need to be allowed to fall down, fail at something, or even get their feelings hurt...it's how they learn and get stronger even if it's hard to watch and let them.

 

[Loobs]

I've learned that you must slow down and enjoy your kids while they're young...it's too easy to get caught up with wanting to sprint to each milestone.

That silence in a home with a toddler who's awake is never good.

That children need to be allowed to fall down, fail at something, or even get their feelings hurt...it's how they learn and get stronger even if it's hard to watch and let them.

Don't really have anything to add, but keep coming for a little read at everyones replies and I totally love this.

Helpful little nuggets of information for when the time comes x

 

[KalonKiki]

That you should be careful not to say "no" to your children too often. Sooo many parents make this mistake, and it only distances their children and makes them feel resentful. I don't think most parents realize how much more often they tend to tell their children no than yes. I've also known a lot of older parents that say the one thing they would go back and change is that they would have said no a lot less.

I've also learned a ton of things from my mother about what NOT to do as a mom, but that list is so incredibly long that I couldn't possibly list it here right now.

 

[kcbmama]

Forever learning lessons but
Patience I'm not the most patient of people but I'm learning that by being patient I actually see more.
It's the little things As a SAHM, I'm aware of our budget and have learnt how to stretch our funds and worry about not taking them to amusement parks and on holidays but then we'll take them out somewhere local and they'll talk about it for days afterwards. And I know one day we'll have the money to take them.
Time is precious I cannot believe my eldest is 5 this year. It has gone so fast so I'm trying to make each day memorable for the kids and us the parents.

 

[myangel167]

Here's another quick thing I just thought of....I really want to teach my kids about compassion. I want my kids to be self aware, caring, intuitive, and attentive. I hope that they will treat others with respect and kindness. A lot of the ideals of Buddhism seem to relate to all the things I want to teach my future children. Of course I'm not expecting them to be perfect or to be able to be sympathetic when they are like 5....these are just ideals that I hope to instill in them for their lifetime. I know a lot of selfish, greedy, inconsiderate, self centered people. I just want to make sure my children do not turn out like that. There are toooo many of those in the world!

 

[Lara310809]

I have three kids, and the most important thing I've learned is to listen to your child and listen to your instincts. The books and the medics, and indeed other parents will tell you things, but if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. You know your kids better than anyone else.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I have three kids, and the most important thing I've learned is to listen to your child and listen to your instincts. The books and the medics, and indeed other parents will tell you things, but if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. You know your kids better than anyone else.

Definitely agree with this! Some people get so hung up trying to follow a book or a particular parenting style down to a tee, but at the end of the day whatever feels 'right' to you is the best way to go about things, and usually that will involve a mixture of aspects from advice you've been given, bits out of books, certain ways of particular parenting styles and things you've figured out on your own too.

 

[darkriver]

From my mum: To give up on counting on family as they will always put there needs before your own.
From my dad: People dont change.
From my best friend: No matter what happens we will be connected.
From my daughter. Life is a lesson and everyday I will find joys from her.

 

[Iveneverseen]

I have three children and have been a mum for 10 years. (my eldest was born 10 years ago)

so I have learned a good bit in that time, I've grew as a person and as a mum.
I've learnt and experienced a lot. different pregnancies, births, babies, sexes, types of birth, feeding methods, children, personalities.

One thing which is always good to remember is, do what you think is best for you and your baby/family. as long as you are making choices and bringing your child up how you want to and your all happy, anyones opinions are irrelevant. don't let anyone tell you what is and isn't a good choice for your family if your all happy and it works for you.

each child is different.

treasure every moment with them and capture them.