sometimes the thought of breastfeeding scares me

[justkitty]

Ok I just feel the need to get this off my chest.

Overall I can't wait to bf my baby but I am also quite scared.

I remember the blisters and pain with ds & the feeling of absolute despair when bfing didn't work out and exclusively pumping didn't work.

I have spent time this pregnancy reading all I can about bfing so I know whats normal, what to expect etc.

My ds will be 19m and I am so worried he will be neglected because baby will clusterfeed. I am scared how I will cope with my ds bedtime etc as my husband works long hours if baby wants to feed all evening. I worry about feeds lasting a long time and not being able to play with my son.

I am scared how I will cope if baby wants to feed hourly or every 2 hours in the night. How I might resent dh for sleeping.

I read comments.on here about how hard people find those first few months unbearable and painful and all I can think of is why bother whenyou coucould ff and get hubby to help even though I totally agree.and know that bf is best.

The idea of feeding in public daunts me. I am worried I will take the 'easy option' if it gets too tough.

I so want to make bf a success and I know I will try my hardest and I know how rewarding it will be.

Right now it feels like I will be going into battle to be a success at bfing rather than looking forward to it.

 

[missk1989]

Firstly dont worry about routines you will find a way to do bedtime when the problem arises. The best thing i think you can do is get yourself to a sling group, they are held at local librarys or children centres. They will let you try out some slings so you can see what suits you best and then i would suggest you go and buy one that you would be comfortable wearing for long periods of time and that will allow your lo to feed comfortably from within the sling. This will allow you to do bedtime and anything else you wish to do with ds and still stay close to and nourish your lo.
As for feeding in public people barely even notice these days as they are so busy in their own lives.
Finally i think your fear stems from your previous experience but just as every pregnancy is different so is every bf journey. Some women struggle first time round and succeed second whilst some struggle second time after successfully feeding previous infants. Dont set your expectations too high just know where to get support and try to be relaxed in your approach.
Good luck.

 

[Pielette]

Relax

I was in the same position as you. I ff my first LO and really wanted to get bf to work second time around.

But it needn't be as hard as you're envisaging. My baby might cluster feed for an hour or so from 7-8pm and that's it, which is after my toddler has gone to bed. So I bath both of them and scoop my littlest into my arms while I read my toddler a story. Sometimes he gets upset when I set him down to get my toddler's milk and get him dressed but unfortunately my eldest needs me too so he has to wait, I keep talking to him and try to reassure him and in reality it'll only be a couple of minutes although it feels longer.

I was scared of the pain too and yes, it was painful to start with. Personally I don't really believe the whole 'if its painful you're doing it wrong' theory. My nipples were not used to a tiny but powerful mouth sucking on them and they got sore. I knew my latch was good because I could feel the difference when he latched badly. I just took it one feed at a time. And the pain would always lessen after 30 seconds or so. It wouldn't go away but it would lessen. Now I don't have any pain at all and it got noticeably better at around two weeks in.

Yes, feeds may last a long time in the beginning. I'll admit that I did resort to the tv more than I would have liked to keep my eldest entertained. I also had a lot of help from my mum and my husband in the early days. If you can get yourself some support for the first couple of weeks I'd really recommend it Bottom line though, your toddler will get through the more time consuming bits and it won't damage him.

As for overnight, hourly is not the norm unless its the first few days when bub is trying to bring your milk in. It tends to be two hourly or so after that though. Funny thing is you adjust, somehow my brain and body accepted it and just got on with it. We bed shared at first which helped and you can feed lying down which allows you both to drift off afterwards. Also, get your DH to help you. No he doesn't have breasts but he can settle the baby after a feed or change them letting you get back to resting.

Feeding in public - I have found that easy to be honest. I think the vast majority of people haven't even noticed I'm doing it. I wear two vest tops, pull one up and one down and once he's latched you can't see a thing. I'd suggest for your first few times go to places that you know are very kid friendly and won't care too much, it'll build your confidence.

We're six weeks in and my baby is already finding his own pattern. We do bath, boob and bed in the evening and he'll go to bed for 5/6 hours usually, then a 3/4 hour stretch until 4/5am ish, then up for the day at 7am. During the day he generally goes 2/3 hours and I don't let him go longer than that. I don't have any pain and the feeding time is reducing, sometimes he can be done now in 10/15 minutes.

It doesn't have to be as scary as you're envisaging and if you have problems there is a lot of support out there so use it! And if at some point you think to yourself I can't do this and it's not working out, that's fine. Formula is not the devil's work, my eldest thrived on it. I'd just recommend that you set yourself little targets. Like, get to the end of this week, or get to two weeks and so on. One feed or day at a time.

Sorry for the essay, hope that helps a bit

 

[justkitty]

Thanks ladies! The silly thing is I know once baby is here it'll all slip into place and I shouldn't view it as a battle otherwise it'll make it harder.

I have a great wrap and I've hired a birth doula. My dh has a month off work once baby is here so I now feel like I have nore support in place.

First time round I had two blood transfusions, my husband was off to job interviews every day of his paternity leave as his job was dodgy and we were constantly worried he was going to be made redundant. We don't have any extra stress this time round.