Son not popular at school

[hypnorm]

I feel so sorry for my son, he is the youngest in class and often is distracting to others (hopefully a new teacher next year might help him with this) but he doesn't seem to have any friends in school in his class, he rarely gets invited to parties, and and in the two yrs he's been at school he has been invited home to play twice.
he is so lonely in the holidays and wants to play with his friends and asks me to call them but I can't as I'm not in their little circles. They all seem to do football, or rugby and my son isn't interested in sport, There was a pic for the under 6's local football club and it was literally 80% of the boys in his yr.

We don't do birthday parties for him as i really don't see why i should invite kids in his class who never invite him, he would happily play with the reception kids who are actually nearer to his age.

i though school would be easier after playgroup etc but its turning out to be harder!!

 

[shellie]

Hiya, I'm sorry to hear about this, my son doesn't really get invited to many parties etc... either, I put it down to me not really speaking to the other mothers in the playground as I just drop my son off and leave, but I try not to let it get to me. I take him to his kickboxing class outside school and his cousins come down to play with him or he plays with the children in the street, when its his birthday we just take him to mcdonalds or do a tea party for him and his cousins.

We've just moved house and he is due to start a new school in september, I am really worried about him making friends etc so I can see where your coming from with worrying about it. xxx

 

[Stargazer77]

I hate 'mums in playground' politics that comes with primary school. I invite all the kids in LO's class to her parties and have kids over for tea whenever poss. I try and make up for the fact that I work fulltime so am not in the inner circle either. Can you invite some kids to yours?

 

[hypnorm]

I feel awkward though inviting kids to our house who Ewan has quite openly said they pick on him and don't like him. one of the kids that did invite him home has moved schools and the other only gets picked up by his grandma.

 

[Stargazer77]

Maybe talk to his Grandma? She could always get a message to the other kids parents....

Or out of school clubs.... could he make new friends there?

 

[shellie]

Would you ask Ewan who he would like to choose to come around and get him to ask them in class, that way he can pick who he feels comfortable with. xxx

 

[Hotbump]

Does he stand up for himself when they pick on him? My mom never talked to other moms or let me invite other kids over and that made me really unpopular and she would tell me that if someone did something to me to tell the teacher which made it waaaayyy worst. Invite some kids to the house i doubt they will pick on him with you there and if he doesnt stand up for himself show him how to...I learned that once I started to stand up for myself I started to make friends

 

[sunshine114]

Hope you don't mind me offering some advice as my LO is a lot younger than yours, but I am a primary school teacher. I would say have a chat with his teacher, if he is unhappy and doesn't have children to play with then that would come under their duty of care. A teacher's job is not to just teach, but also to ensure that the children are happy at school by catering to all needs. I would recommend in September ask for a meeting with the new teacher and mention your concerns. If s/he is aware of problems then you can work together to solve them, if they are not aware then they will appreciate you saying (the first few weeks of school are a whirlwind and it is easy to miss things).

HTH x

 

[mom22boys]

I feel for you! I too am the mother of a child who seems just not to have friends. (real friends) His close friend moved away last year! It makes me so sad for him. Tonight was open house and I asked him if he saw any of his friends, he said ya I asked him who he was going to hang out with he said he was not sure. The year before I took a kid on vacation for a week with us! The parents have NEVER invited my kid over to play or anything. This year we took a kid and the kid got sick. I have parties and invite 5 boys each year. We take them all camping, my son only gets invited to one of their birthday parties. I just dont get it! My husband encouraged my son to play football this year so we will see how that goes! I hope well. I told my son tonight that he needs to pray and ask God to send him a friend.

You are not alone! Have you tried boys club programs or such?

I think a lot of parents are just busy and love to send their kids off to someone elses house for the weekend but it would just be too much work for them to return the favor!

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[hypnorm]

I don't do the after school clubs because they are so expensive.
I speak to a couple of the mums, but i have seen their son hand out invites to parties, and Ewan has asked if he could come and the kid just said 'NO you're not invited, i don't want you to come' I know he has to learn that he can't go to everyones party, and we just cannot afford to cater for a class of 30.

I find it hard to speak to the other mums as they all seem to know each other and come to school all prim and made up, i am quite shy with people I don't know.

I hope his teacher is more supportive as he has had th same teacher for 2 yrs who actually told him off for playing with the reception kids and said he should play with kids in his class.. thing is he knows most of the kids in reception (now yr 1) as he went to playgroup with them all.

 

[missbaby123]

I really do sympathise with this situation, i would say that it is the teachers duty of care to encourage other children to interact more with your child. As far as birthday parties go.....they are not suitable for every child, some would prefer to go on a special day trip or spend their birthday time playing with a special gift or be with those who love them the most! As long as the child has a happy, memorable birthday and feels like they are the most loved child in the world, than thats all that matters.

 

[NuKe]

I'm sorry I have no advice, but I can tell you about my brother who was the same. From a very young age, he didn't seem to mix well with others. Not in a nasty way, but he wasn't interested (or good at) sport and that's what all the kids were into. He never really had any friends throughout primary school and also high school, but was pretty happy.

Then he went to university. He met new people, started interacting with others and even decided to go to Japan and travel round BY HIMSELF. This is the guy who used to be the shyest kid there ever was. He is now doing a PhD at King's College, has a brilliant girlfriend, is a funny ******* and is my best friend.

You can only do your best. As long as he knows you love him and he has your support that's all that matters. It's always the quiet ones.