Soo afraid to tell my mom we're having our 3rd...

[MyFavSurprise]

I am terrified to tell her we are having another baby.. So many other people already know, DH's mom said it is a blessing, my sister knows, my niece knows, so many people know but I am so afraid to tell her.

I'm 28, we're married, we pay our own bills, I stay home with the kids...money isn't overflowing but we're doing fine. We live with my mom because she is alone otherwise and it saves money, but we could afford our own place.

Anyway, i guess what I'm saying is there shouldn't really be any reason that she shouldn't be happy for us, other than the fact that ds2 is a very difficult baby and she knows that because she sees him daily and helps fairly often, not excessively.. but dh has joked with her about having more, we want a big family, and she acts like its the end of the world... "ohh no! Not for a long time at least!!"

We could have waited until ds2 got easier, but I had this undying need to have another baby, like it was what we needed to balance our family, and he got on board and here we are. I cried every day about having another, I just felt like it would bring us all together so perfectly, and I still feel that way.

I wanted to wait until Grandparent's day, Sept 11th, to tell her. I wanted to get our scan done so I can give her a picture in a card, maybe cushion the blow...but I am so sick every day it's getting really hard to hide it, apparently when I'm sleeping in the morning and my husband is up she keeps asking if I'm okay, and we have just under a month to keep hiding it!

Does anybody have any other kind of suggestions for telling her in a nice and easygoing way that says we're happy so you should be too? Lol

Thanks!

 

[hunni12]

I would hold out and tell her the way you planned to just to involve her

 

[Dixie25]

I think it's difficult because she already expressed an opinion that she didn't want you to have a 3rd and you live with her. Perhaps offer to move out if it's going to be too much for her then she can't complain at all

 

[MyFavSurprise]

We figure if it's a problem then we will move at the end of our lease, but she's also expressed that she wants to live with her grandchildren. Actually I suddenly remember having a conversation about her moving to a senior community to save money and she said no way I need to be here with my boys.. and my husband teased what if we have more, and she said well then I'll live with them too.

I may be making too much out of it honestly, maybe I'm just afraid of disappointing my mom. She really isnt a difficult person, but she adopted me and I was more than enough for her..and her sister had 3 kids and kind of screwed up, I feel like maybe she's projecting her concerns on us. Maybe she will be happy, I'm just afraid of her reaction :/

 

[Jessicahide]

I was the same, i don't live with my mum but she feels the need to make everything about her all the time, she was over the moon....... It was my 5th.

 

[northern_me]

I feel you! I also have no desire to tell my mom. We own our home, both have decent jobs and we are doing ok. I also have a very challenging dd2. My mom has also (as recent as this week) told us not to have anymore and keeps hinting that two is enough. If I could hide it from her until I have the baby, I would. I have no desire to have her rain on our parade!

No advice, but you're not alone!

 

[x__amour]

I'm sure that if she does initially have a negative reaction, she will happy in the end. Babies are such a blessing.

My mother is similar. I have no overwhelming desire to tell her because I know she's going to be upset about it. She thinks because I have one of each that I have no "need" for any more and I'll "ruin" my life. She'll get over it though and I'm sure be happy as well.

 

[justplay91]

I'm right there with you! My mom tells us probably every time she sees us that two is enough and we should stick with just them. To be fair, money is tight with us and we will have a hard time affording 3 kids, especially when they are older and the expenses really start adding up (hopefully we'll be making more money then, too). I understand the worries in my mom's case, but knowing how she's going to handle it really makes me want to just not tell her at all... Ever.
Don't even get me started on the in-laws.... They already think everything we do if is wrong (we don't spank enough, I don't clean the house enough... Ugh). If I could wait until the baby is born to tell family, I totally would.
Sorry, I have no advice for you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat!

 

[SweetV]

Me too! We do alright financially and we don't ask for any help with our baby but I was terrified to tell her. I actually wrote her a poem last night and sent it to her as a message. She was really upset that I didn't call her but tbh when I told her with one of my last pregnancies she was really, really negative and it hurt. I'm glad it's out in the open now as I had already told a lot of people (I lied when she asked how many people knew as she was already upset). She did say congratulations and honestly I'm a grown woman that doesn't need her approval. It is a huge weight off my shoulders to not be afraid to tell her anymore though! Good luck!