Sorry...another question!

[Vanilla Spice]

Hi guys!

I've always wondered how couples keep the most exciting news of their lives a secret from everyone for a whole 12 weeks!

My friends will know straight away that I'm pregnant if I don't drink for more than 4 weeks (not that I'm some sort of alcoholic but I do like the odd tipple on a Friday after work!!) and I'm terrible at lying so if they question me I will give the game away right away!!

So how is everyone else planning to keep their 'big secret' a secret for those first 12 weeks?

Thanks again!

 

[MiissMuffet]

maybe u could tell your close friends and family- and then everyone else later on? I told the friends that i would normally spend time with at 4 weeks- then the rest when i heard heartbeat at 11 xx

 

[amber1533]

I haven't gotten pregnant before, but I don't think i would keep it a secret. When me and my husband decided on TTC, I told my closest friends. And my mom who I don't talk to. So I am guessing as soon as I do get pregnant I'm telling. lol

 

[Kess]

Well the rationale behind not telling till 12 weeks is in case anything goes wrong. For me, if anything goes wrong then I'd want the support and understanding of my friends and family, so I won't be waiting until 12 weeks.

 

[Vanilla Spice]

You make a very valid point Kess - I never thought of it that way. Thanks!

 

[Pink_Tinks]

i tld my parents and OH's parents at 12 wks, and didnt tell anyone else till 17!!

 

[Vanilla Spice]

Pink_Tinks, how did you manage to keep it a secret for so long without anyone suspecting anything?

 

[plutosblue]

Unfortunatly I am the worst person for keeping secrets (not others just my own).

I won't be telling anyone at work but to soothe myself I intend to tell the parents/in laws. Just so SOMEONE knows!!

Luckily my friends all attend university, so I don't see them so often so I can keep it all a secret. I can just imagine turning up one day with a nice bump like "how are you guys!?" I would love to see their reactions

 

[xsophiexleax]

I'd tell my parents & my brother before 12 weeks.. other than that I'd probably wait until I've heard the heartbeat or had a scan before I tell everyone else after that i'll be shouting it from the rooftops lol

 

[amylk87]

I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself, i'd just have to tell someone before 12 weeks...
I think i'd tell my best friend, and then tell the parents and siblings around 9-10 weeks... but this might go out the window when it comes to it lol.

 

[Pink_Tinks]

Pink_Tinks, how did you manage to keep it a secret for so long without anyone suspecting anything?

i've suffered from gasteroentiritus (sp?!) in the past, so no one thought it suspicous when i had it again and was 'on antibiotics' lol
me and OH did have to do some snideys at a couple of partys tho, he would drink a can of beer, go get 'two' more, and give me the empty one lol so i pretended to drink that!

once family knew at 12 wks it was fine, then just had 4 weeks of ppl at work / making excuses not to go out a couple of nights.
I just wanted to make sure myself that everything was okay before i let everyone know...!

 

[embojet]

Last time I told everyone straight away. I think next time I will wait a bit so it's more like a special secret between me and DH.

 

[parkgirl]

I would maybe tell a few VERY close friends when I found out, but I don't think I would tell anyone else until 12-17 weeks into it. I have no problems keeping secrets and my DH doesn't want to tell either.

 

[goddess25]

I told my parents, in-laws and close friends and had to tell supervisors at work since i give chemotherapy and look after immunocompromised people with infections like shingles that you cant look after when pregnant. I agree anyway if anything happens you need the support from people.

Although first preg ended in m/c so i had to tell them. I bled a lot with this one too and they told me i was having a threatened m/c so i thought you tell them your pg and there dead happy then you have to tell them otherwise. I might wait next time for fam and friends but still tell work.. who knows.!

 

[cleckner04]

The first time I got pregnant I told everyone right away. Than had a miscarriage and had the awkward result of having to tell people that I'd lost the baby. It was already horrible enough without people asking how the baby is and than I would have to explain that he died.

So my second pregnancy we didn't tell anyone until nearly 20 weeks. Well we told parents and a few very close friends but other than that noone knew. I plan on doing it the same with all my pregnancies from now on.

I really advise people to wait because miscarriages, unfortunately, are a very common occurence.. Yes, you want support from others if something goes wrong. But that is why you tell those closest to you. I wouldn't advise getting on facebook and announcing it or anything like that.

 

[lovehearts]

i would like to think i could keep it a secret until 12 weeks after the first scan but i am hoping that we will have an early scan about 8 weeks (private) and this is when i will tell my family! I think my closest friends and people at work will guess before 12 weeks though as i smoke at the moment and they will know i have stopped smoking for a reason! (although i do hope to give up before ttc!) I think it will be really hard to keep a secret like that but at the same time so exciting as it will be just for me and OH X

 

[Bambi1985]

I would like to be able to keep it a secret from most people until at least 12 weeks. THe only people we are likely to tell before is OH parents, my manager at work and perhaps my sister. ( We don't get on too well with my parents and hardly see them so keeping a bump from them should be pretty easy). Definitely want to keep it from everyone else until after the forst scan incase of m/c

 

[Lovemyboy]

I didn't know i was pregnant with my son straight away so that's the only reason i didn't tell anyone sooner but this time i will tell my parents, close friends STRAIGHT AWAY ( i will be too excited to keep it a secret!)

I will then prob tell everyone else around 7 weeksx

 

[LadyofRohan]

I don't plan on telling anyone (except DH, of course) until after 12 weeks. I'm paranoid about having a miscarriage: I wouldn't want to get so excited and tell everyone only to have to tell them later on that I'd lost the baby (deities forbid). My husband is the only support I would want during a trying time like that.

DH and I have been discussing the problem we'd come across concerning having drinks during that 12 week time. With friends it wouldn't be a problem because I can always claim to be DD. However, it will be harder to keep from my family because we always have wine with our Sunday dinners when we go to visit every week. I think we're going to go with multiple strategies: I may have a glass at my place but just not drink from it (give it to DH), I will claim a sore stomach, I will claim that as a New Years resolution I'm trying to tone down on the number of glasses of wine I have a week, or I may try to bring substitutes (like find a juice the same color as the wine and bring it and drink that instead). Hopefully I only have to do this for 12 weeks!

 

[mommyB]

DH and I haven't discussed whether we will wait to tell or tell when we find out out. Knowing me I will be too excited to wait. But there is something special about having that secret between the two of us. And for hiding it until we tell, I will have no problem with that. I hardly ever drink, so me turning down a glass of wine will be nothing new. I'm sure once we find out that we are having a baby we will decide on when to tell.