sorry this might ramble on..

[pinkgem100]

Hi i am writing this as im just getting stressed and upset, am at work at the mo so cant really talk to anyone... its been exactly 2 months since i lost my baby Harry @ 20 weeks. i usually cope really well but today i have just been all over the place, cant concentrate etc. I am really mad cus my boss has left early as her daughter (who will be 2 in July) was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis and she wouldnt go at first ('works to busy for me to leave') all i could think about was if that was my child...she has gone now but it just got me soooo mad

im really confused cus even though my whole pregnancy was a nightmare (morning sickness, hospital stays etc) i cant help missing being pregnant and that this year i am not going to have my little bundle of joy in april, but i really dont no if i am ready to try again, somedays i think i am then the next day i will get upset cus i will feel like i have though about trying to replace Harry. I dont no what to do anymore and cant cope with feeling like this it is driving me mad, i just want him back..

 

[MrsJD]

Oh hun just wanted to send you some

XXXXXX

 

[Widger]

It has been a really traumatic time for you and I remember from your previous posts that you only buried your son a short time ago. Don't worry about feeling up and down, it is natural and you need time to help you grieve. Hope you feel better soon xx

 

[born2Bmama]

pinkgem100,

I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy Harry.

I understand how confusing this grief can be. I lost my daughter at 24 weeks a little over two months ago as well. Most days I think I am handling it pretty well and then It will just hit me all at once and I am stressed and emotional and I can't think about anything else. There are other days where I would give anything just to weep and release the tension but it is almost like I can't feel anything and tears won't come. I hate those moments the most. I guess grieving is such a personal journey that we just can't control. Which is hard because everything else seems so uncertain and out of control right now I wish I at least had some control over my reactions.

I was told by a therapist that it can take longer for parents who loose their children before their due date to adjust to the "new normal" in their life. I guess it is because we still have to get through the period where we would have still been pregnant and then through the due date. Then, finally, maybe it will feel like this terrible event is finally over and we can really move forward.

I understand the awful feeling. I feel this heavy weight in my chest whenever I think of it and I miss her so much. I wish so much no one ever had to feel this pain.

You are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts.