Special Gaurdian with behaviour problems :(

[kelly2903]

Hey I've not been on here in such a long time but long story short my nephew went into care match 2011 we decided to foster him and take on a special Gaurdian ship order he moved in jam 2012 we have always had behaviour issues with and some are age appropriate as he will be 3 shortly most issues arise when he has had a contact with parent/s we are been consistent with boundary pushing and time outs are used this became better and it seemed his behaviour got better when he didn't see mum for 2 months (due to no show) she is now back in the picture and his behaviour is out of control after the 1st contact he was an emotional wreck and began to wet his self and refused to be left at nursery although not a good thing he did make his attachment with me and my partner during this time so some good came from it another contact took place and he began self harming which has happened in the past but settled nipping at himself biting his arms and punching his self in the forehead 3 weeks on from last contact the self harm has eased up but he is wild everything is a fight with him he will say he needs the toilet and so let's go and then he will refuse point blank to go saying/shouting no this goes for anything he is asked to do the word no will follow most of it is ignored but if he is being asked to do something for his own safety we literally have to remove him from the situation which will cause him to blow up and lash out he has pulled handful of hair from my head more than once he has nipped at me till he has drawn blood and he has kicked punch slapped and bit me, we used the step for time out which proved more difficult (I have a 1yr ) so spending an hour putting him back on the step after he refuses to sit there is just not ideal so we used his bedroom as time out as he has a gate he would throw toys resulting in me having to remove them he would take all his bedding off of his bed all clothes out of draws so we got a chair setting it away from anything he could touch or anyone he could hurt but that was a fight an a half he would throw the chair at me across the room so after that I got rid and got a carot cut off from local store wellll he can't hurt his self with it or any1else but I have spent up to hour putting him back on it it is like he would prefer to carry on and on so I have to put him back I am at my wits end I cannot spend not of my time doing this so I'm back to bedroom time out as he seems to settle quicker away from any1 he still wrecks the place but what can I do he is too young to see any1 about this I'm spending everyday warning and then follwing through with time outs an it doesn't these him (((((((

 

[puppymom32]

I am so sorry hun what you are doing is wonderful. Poor kid sounds like he needs to stop contact with his BM/BF if this is how he is reacting. Can soc services offer any type of counciling for him? Big hugs.

 

[amjon]

Could you talk to his guardian ad litem? Maybe they could recommend he have no contact with his parents. If there is no hope in reuniting them it is probably for the best anyway.

 

[CareBear]

I would contact his previous social worker and see if she/he can put you in ouch with a support service. You should have had a sg support plan provided when he was placed with you.