I find it rather strange they won't take her, and if you're in the UK it's very possibly illegal (Discrimation). One of my older children went into a "normal" pre-school with severe learning difficulties, virtualy non-verbal, ASD, CP and epilepsy and this was about 15 years ago. He had his own support worker the whole time he was there funded by the education department.
My youngest is 2.5yo, with GDD, ADHD, possible ASD, virttualy non-verbal, will be starting pre-school in September having been given 2yo funding. Although he doesn't have a support worker in place, any extra help he needs will be funded by the LEA.