Starting IUI process- Looking for lesbian parents close by??

[Rachk011]

Hi!
I was recommended to come here by a friend of mine- my wife and I married nearly a year ago after being together 6 years. We have just received our first letter from our local hospital saying we are officially on the NHS list for IUI.

My wife is going to carry first and we are both extremely excited! We know it will be around another 18months before we actually get to start, but we are both looking for couples who are close to us to chat to and just generally to have a friendship with as none of our gay friends have children, so it would be nice to have somebody who has already/ or is going through the same thing.

We are from Cardiff- is there anybody around that area?? Thanks! x

 

[Tink_]

Hey Rach,

Just wanted to welcome you to the site

Hope you meet some more people soon! You might also find posting in the WTT forum bit good.

Lottie x

 

[whatwillbex]

Hiya!

We went through the same process. 18 months will fly by! I remember getting that letter so exciting! Good luck to you and your wife xx

 

[Rachk011]

Thanks both!!
I know it will fly by- by your reply does that mean you went through IUI on the NHS? can I ask how your experience was? xx

 

[whatwillbex]

Great experience! They were really good. Once the ball started rolling its happened quite quickly. We were on the waiting list for a little while due to shortage of donors then suddenly we had the phone call to say they had a suitable donor then we were away. Our daughter is beautiful she has completed us, feel very lucky. Enjoy your journey! x

 

[blinkey]

Hi guys. My partner and I have tried to look into NHS treatment as we would rather use a clinic. We both want to be legal parents (not yet in a civil partnership) also we think its safer than finding someone online. We first consulted our GP who referred us to the centre for life in Newcastle. We waited for weeks only to find there was a £160 initial consultation fee we weren't expecting when we just wanted to know what our options were.

Did you find the NHS was an easy route and were there any costs involved. Also where did you go to start the process?

 

[whatwillbex]

Hiya, Its was very straight forward. We didn't have to pay a consultation fee. We only paid once treatment had started. We had to have a lot of blood tests, HSG and standard counselling (which everyone has who receives treatment) etc. Luckily our doctors surgery were really good and were happy to do our blood tests so we didn't have to pay for these. If we had done our tests through the hospital we would have had to pay £50 each time and we had to have a few. We were very lucky.

I recommend the NHS they were brilliant with us from start to finish. Treated us really well.

 

[Rachk011]

As far as I know- legally u can both be named as the parents even if you are not in a civil partnership as long as you start the process to together and get named as the legal parents from day 1.
clinic prices are insane, so if u went on the NHS for the treatment- we have been told we will be looking at a 18month wait before insemination ( that includes all the appts and pre testsing times) and we have 3 tries at IUI for free- If you wanted to be both named- it maybe cheaper to pay for legal papers to be drawn up specifying that you are both the legal parents, and seeing how that would work without u being in a CP- the GP will be able to refer you to the NHS clinic- ( we got our first letter after 3 months- we are still waiting for the fertility appt to arrive- should be within 3 months) go to that appt and they will be able to advise you on what the legal stance is on you both being legal parents without a CP.

Bex- sooo glad you had a good experience that is nice to hear- how many times did it take for you/or your partner to catch pregnant? I was just worried about the only 3 tries- how old is your little girl? x

 

[whatwillbex]

1st try I got pregnant, couldn't believe it! We were told three tries then we would have to try IVF. Three tries is quite a lot if you think about it. As its so calculated down to when you ovulate and the donors sperm being tested so its good quality and a high number of the little swimmers.
Our little girl is 9 months on Sunday, time flys. The key is to be relaxed and as my user name says what will be will be xx

We would love to try for a 2nd.

 

[Rachk011]

Thats great news to hear it worked so quickly!! We would like 3 or 4 in total but this will all depend on money and things and im sure after the first one we wil have more of an idea!! Id like to carry the 2nd one- but again this will all depend on my career.
9 months is such a lovely age! Glad you are such a happy little family Shame you are far away! Would love to get some lesbian families close to be able to be around when we do have ours x

 

[day_dreamer]

Aaah you're all so lucky at being eligible for NHS treatment. Thanks to the bloody postcode lottery we're entitled to zilch

 

[Rachk011]

Oh no thats so unfair!! I had hurd it was a post code thing- I wonder how they decide.... what are you going to do instead? x

 

[day_dreamer]

We have to do at home with a donor, which isn't ideal as pinpointing ovulation is difficult. I'd love NHS treatment more than anything.

Good luck!

 

[Rachk011]

It's so unfair that you can't have it!! I hope the donor works quickly- the only plus must be that you have as many donations as you need? But its completely unfair you dont get what others have x

 

[day_dreamer]

Some people do, but I can only get 1...which just makes it more unlikely to happen! We have seriously considered moving areas...its cheaper than funding fertility treatment!

 

[Nelly101]

Hi Rach

I want to say I was googling and came across your posting and thought I sign up. I am looking for couples who are going to be doing through IUI process. MY girlfriend and I have started I am so excited we went through a clinic. YES VERY PRICEY it sucks because they really do not tell you how much you are going to spend which they tell you everything in the consult. But anyway we are about 2 weeks from the IUI process I am so excited!! My girlfriend is the one carrying. She start her meds tonight it took forever for her period to come lol I think because we wanted it to bad. But I am excited to follow you through your process and share mine with everyone!

 

[Rachk011]

Hey Nelly! Ahh thats very exciting two weeks away is very close! We are still waiting on our first appt with the good old NHS we could be waiting for a bit but hey it is free

Day Dreamer- moving areas could be an option I know we could not afford to fund 3 times ourselves at the moment- we would be waiting an another 5 years before we could try x

 

[Tynmeg]

My wife and I went through the IUI process at a fertility clinic. By the time we drove the 4 hours there and back, paid a night at a hotel, had our meals, paid for the procedure and for the sperm, it costs us about 1500 cdn dollars each try. We were blessed and got pregnant the 2nd time but had an early mc, but then were blessed again and got pregnant on our 3rd try after the mc. So in my experience, you have a good chance with your 3 tries.

 

[whatwillbex]

I know I would love to meet other same sex families. We went to our local pride and asked one of the ladies on the stalls and they didn't know of any groups or other families I'm sure they are out there and I'm convinced I have seen a few walking around the town. I'm just not that confident to go up and randomly start talking to them plus they may think i'm weird. lol Even then I fear I may get it wrong and they are not in a same sex family I have done this before to a couple of women we have met on holiday and been convinced they were gay and weren't. Felt like a plank! lol Gaydar seems to be off lately and replaced by baby brain.

ah well I'm just glad we have b&b

 

[kezza78]

Where are you from Bex? x