Starting to think it's not meant to be...

[Rikki]

My partner and I have been trying for 18 months for a baby. In that time I have had 3 pregnancies (all first try!), but sadly 3 miscarriages, the last one at 19 weeks. That was 6 months ago.

Since then, nothing. Been trying since the miscarriage, so 6 months. I'm due AF in a few days, but already I know it's not happened again as getting period pains (I've had this for up to a week before for the last few AFs).

We've been at the right time. I've been charting and using OPKs. My periods are pretty much regular. I don't know why it's not working.

I'm just getting the feeling now that it's not going to happen. Maybe it's fate or whatever, or some devine force. But now I can't even get pregnant in the first place, let alone carry to term.

Sorry for ranting, I just feel really depressed about it all. I've tried forgetting about it, but I just can't

 

[Chilli]

Oh Rikki - I feel for you - it's so hard not to feel down about it. Let me tell you about a friend of mine who had 3 mcs, gave up and recently had a healthy baby boy at 42. These miracles do happen and I think some of us just have to be stronger for longer than others - have you had any tests?

 

[Souxiekue]

It's been FIVE LONG YEARS that we have been trying. We are going to meet a surrogate at the beginning of December. I give up.

 

[ciarhwyfar]

I can't say that I understand exactly how you feel but I feel like I am voyaging in the same boat. We started trying for one more in January and caught right away. I kind of knew it wasn't right from the beginning and we lost it in February. Since then, I have had regular scheduling (which is off for me) and odd cycles with less bleeding for fewer days. There have been some odd abdominal things going on that after four months, we have finally found a doctor to listen to me and it is now being checked into. It will be a week or two before we hear about the last tests.

Every time I have gotten pregnant, it was so easy and now it just feels like it can't happen anymore. I think we are giving it until the Vernal Equinox in March before calling it quits. I feel like there is still one more but I have little faith in it happening anymore most of the time.

Sorry if you feel I took up on your thread.

 

[Rowan75]

big hug - I'm beginning to think the same...how to know when to say enough is enough we need to look at other options...

I dont ovulate properly but react badly to the ovulastion meds so cant have any more, although they do make me ov and get pregnant, but then my babies stopped at exactly the same stage to the day after seeing strong heartbeats, I even passed both babies on the same day of the month, my fertlitily clinic has taken us off their books and we need re-referring which will take at least 6 months which will be after 3 months of not trying, are these signs that its not meant to be? Or challenges we need to face?

sorry to moan on - am not feeling too cheerful today

big hugs

x

 

[Rikki]

Oh Rikki - I feel for you - it's so hard not to feel down about it. Let me tell you about a friend of mine who had 3 mcs, gave up and recently had a healthy baby boy at 42. These miracles do happen and I think some of us just have to be stronger for longer than others - have you had any tests?

Thanks.
Yeah, I had tests after the last miscarriage, as it was the third one in a row. Basically, I got an infection which caused the membranes to rupture. All the tests came back fine. I was told that the chances of it happening again were minute and there was no reason why I couldn't go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

I think I thought that because I got pregnant first time on all 3 of those miscarriages that I would get pregnant again quickly. I don't think there is anything "wrong" - the first miscarriage I didn't know I was pregnant and I was on some tablets which I think caused an early miscarriage. The second one was weird as I had a scan at 7 weeks & saw hearbeat, but there was nothing at the 12 weeks scan. The last one was worse, having got almost halfway through the pregnancy. The baby was still alive, but no fluid around him & I had to deliver him or else the infection would have spread to my blood and the outcome may not have been too great for me.

Well, since my partner & I both seem quite fertile, that's what's making me think that maybe some devine force just doesn't want it to happen for us

 

[Rikki]

big hug - I'm beginning to think the same...how to know when to say enough is enough we need to look at other options...

I dont ovulate properly but react badly to the ovulastion meds so cant have any more, although they do make me ov and get pregnant, but then my babies stopped at exactly the same stage to the day after seeing strong heartbeats, I even passed both babies on the same day of the month, my fertlitily clinic has taken us off their books and we need re-referring which will take at least 6 months which will be after 3 months of not trying, are these signs that its not meant to be? Or challenges we need to face?

sorry to moan on - am not feeling too cheerful today

big hugs

x

Oh, that's awful for you to go through. I can't imagine how you feel. I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating properly so I can't begin to think what extra stress that adds to the whole process.

I don't blame you for not feeling cheerful. I hope it happens for you soon

 

[Rikki]

I can't say that I understand exactly how you feel but I feel like I am voyaging in the same boat. We started trying for one more in January and caught right away. I kind of knew it wasn't right from the beginning and we lost it in February. Since then, I have had regular scheduling (which is off for me) and odd cycles with less bleeding for fewer days. There have been some odd abdominal things going on that after four months, we have finally found a doctor to listen to me and it is now being checked into. It will be a week or two before we hear about the last tests.

Every time I have gotten pregnant, it was so easy and now it just feels like it can't happen anymore. I think we are giving it until the Vernal Equinox in March before calling it quits. I feel like there is still one more but I have little faith in it happening anymore most of the time.

Sorry if you feel I took up on your thread.

Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like. I used to be able to get pregnant so easily, and now.....nothing! So frustrating!!
Lots of to all of us!

 

[LiSa2010]

so sorry for your losses. ive also had mcs myself and with this last one ive done so much research and im going to try a few different things to help my bean stick. i thknk i have a short lutheal phase and my progesterone is low so i will be taking Vitam B complex B100 to help regulate my cycles and lengthen my lutheal phase. i will also be putting on progesterone cream from O thru AF, if lucky and get PG, i will continue the cream thru end of 1st Tri.

good luck and baby to all

 

[BBgirl]

I too feel despair some days. Other days I think my winning formula will work, because it worked twice before and I was 39 and 40 when I fell pregnant both those times, so quickly. Now, following 2 miscarriages I feel like my body got trapped in a permanent state of grief. Hardly a day goes by when I don't weep for my angel babies. We would have had been a family of 4 by now, plus 2 cats. But it's still just 2 plus 2 cats. And for me too it seems so much harder to get pregnant. Sometimes I feel the stress has brought us so much closer as a couple, but days like today when I had a nasty argument with my OH I feel we are occupying two different worlds while living in the same home. My world is Babyandbump, treading water in a sea of despair fluctuating with tiny islands of hope, seeing families everywhere I go, babies in prams, toddlers in buggies, dreading Christmas. In the cafes there are signs for Baby Sensory classes, Pushy Mums, Brainy Bairns, Mothers and toddlers. There is this exclusive club called motherhood and I am not a member. I can't even get a guest pass to visit for a day. We are moving house and everyone talks about how good the nurseries and schools are in the area, but I'm not a member. Since I was a little girl I dreamed of some day having children of my own. We met too late, I was already 38 by then, but I blame myself for finding myself where I am in my life now. Sorry to be so depressing, usually I try so hard to post positive upbeat threads to help all the other girls out there. But today I am at breaking point.

 

[Chilli]

BB girl - i really undertsand how you're feeling even though I do have a child. The sea of dispair and island hopping really struck a chord with me. I told my OH that I felt like I had been unhappy for 2 years now (since 1st MC) and I've forgotten how to be happy - next day he threw it back at me in an argument and I'm struggling to forgive him!

I truely believe that we will all get there in the end if we keep trying and there may be more pain along the way, but that's just our journey and it'll be worth it in the end! I know loads of people who have suffered lots of losses buthave had a baby or are very pregnant now.

I would also like to say that those who have lost their babies will always be mothers as much as those who have living babies - no you don't get to do all the day to day Mum things that we would all like to be doing, but in your hearts you are Mums! When they ask I tell people I have 1 living child and 3 more.

 

[sunlover72]

Im sorry to hear this, we have been trying for the same length of time as you- and our single bfp turned into an early miscarriage. I really do feel for you.

Like you i sometimes feel like giving up- because it puts a strain on the relationship at times..but we both want it desperately.

Have the docs/specialists been helpfull with info on why the successive Miscarriages?

 

[bbhopes]

I am also five years trying, going to be looking at other options in the new year as well. Hoping for you all.