Stepping into third trimester

[sammie13s]

And breath.... After my history of a stillbirth and a daughter dieing at 9 days old I'm cautiously waving hello and thankful to have made it to 28 weeks with a healthy baby girl. I'm scanned every two weeks. Growth and placental. It's been the hardest 28 weeks of my life
Many ups and downs. Completely spiralled my mental health to a point where I'd never like to return to this state ever. If I manage to get to 36/37 weeks I'll be having a section. Wishing my life away here but that can't come quick enough. When you spend everyday physically, emotionally and mentally drained that time frame seems a lifetime away. It's been hard. Not enjoyable at all which I feel guilty about. This is my LAST pregnancy. I'm having my tubes tied whilst having my section. I never want to feel this bad in myself again. Especially my children that are here. Katie is 12 and Nathan is 7 and they haven't really had a proper mum for 28 weeks so to be able to be a mum again and smile without forcing myself just seems like a dream. I'm so relieved my unborn daughter is thriving. I have a condition in pregnancy that causes severe Iugr. Thankfully my Scarlett is doing well. All the steroids ECT have had a massive impact on this pregnancy. Sorry for the long post. I guess it's nice for people to kind of understand who there talking too. Xx

 

[edthedog]

I can't imagine how worried you must be; I know it's hard but please try not to feel guilty about your kids. At the end of the day 9 months is such a short period in their life and I am absolutely sure once their baby sister gets here safe and sound they will be so grateful to you for bringing her in to their lives.

I know it's not even on the same scale, but I have severe HG with all my pregnancies so really wrestled whether having one more was just selfish as I knew I'd be a bit useless at times and in and out of hospital. In the end I decided that the love and fun having another sibling would bring far outweighed the relatively small amount of time I'd be doing bare-minimum parenting.

Its been hard and I've felt so bad at times when they haven't been able to go to a birthday party because I couldn't get out of bed and their Dad was working or something similar, but on the flip side I've never felt more lucky or proud of them than I do now because for a 4, 6 and 7 year olds, they've shown such caring natures and actually taken it much more in their stride than I have!

I hope the next weeks fly by for you and your little girl arrives safely after baking well. It seems so far away at the beginning of third tri but May will be here before you know it.

Big hugs xxxx

(PS I am also getting my tubes tied as I can't do this again either; I'll have to start getting puppies or something when I start feeling broody again!! )

 

[sammie13s]

Thankyou for your reply. Yes I feel like a crappy mum to. Which really upsets me. But no matter how hard I try I just don't function. Mainly due to anxiety really. My daughter is so fed up. And I constantly beat myself up about it as it's my fault she feels this way. I can't even walk around the park with them as I'm in to much pain thanks to sciatica. I'm just never putting them through this again. My son has his ps4. Thank God for fortnite. As that keeps him distracted. Although in an ideal world I'd rather he wasn't on it as much as he is but right now my life is far from ideal. I need to keep telling myself this is all temporary. But being stuck in the moment I question silly things in mind like would everyone be better off without. This is how it's all made me feel. It's crazy. I think things iv never thought before. Hormones are a crazy thing arnt they? I just pray my mental health ect begins to go back to normal after she's born xx