still dont have middle name!My Honour name causing controversy

[mercedybear]

I wanted to give my baby my moms name as a middle name to honour her ( she has MS and lives far away, almost died when giving birth to me) but now MIL found out and is upset ( dh says we either give both names or choose another, he refuses to use my mothers name now) So I guess we have to choose another middle name that wont cause upset or family feuds
I have told my Mom that we were giving our daughter her name as a middle name and now I have to tell her we changed our mind, this upsets me. My Mom has said all along we can change it if we want ( she didnt want to cause upset) sigh....

 

[Dream.dream]

Tbh I wouldn't be changing it . If your mil is the kind of person who would pitch a for over that then that isn't the kind of person who deserves a baby named after them anyways. And the fact that your mom was gracious enough to say she didnt mind you changing it to something else speaks volumes to me

 

[Glitter_berry]

That's so rude if your MIL.

My DDs middle name is Amy Elizabeth. Amy as in my mums mum and Elizabeth after dh's dads mum.

If my dad or MIL had anything to say about it I wouldn't hesitate to tell them where they can stick such an entitled opinion.

Getting a child named after you is an honour. NOT a right.

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

What are both of their names? Maybe it could be combined somehow.
Whether its right or wrong, I guess I could understand your MILs jealousy to an extent.

I'm sorry you have been put in this situation

 

[Wilsey]

That's so rude if your MIL.

My DDs middle name is Amy Elizabeth. Amy as in my mums mum and Elizabeth after dh's dads mum.

If my dad or MIL had anything to say about it I wouldn't hesitate to tell them where they can stick such an entitled opinion.

Getting a child named after you is an honour. NOT a right.

Totally pointless but my first and middle names are Amy Elizabeth!

 

[Wilsey]

My husband chose our son's first name (happened to be my mother's father's name) and I chose the middle name (my father's name). So his family just have our last name.

This baby, hubby picked the first name again and the middle name is his father's mother's middle name. Kind of trying to share it around a bit. I wanted May as the middle name (which is a family name on my side) but didn't want to be greedy

I don't think you can always please everyone. Best of luck x x

 

[ESF1978]

You should go with your gut and have your mums name. We're having the same discussion about boys names and the middle Name will be my dads. DH initially said it may cause an issue but my response is that the whole family have their surname, so we already have that, so lets have something of my family too.
Good luck x

 

[emma123456]

Our baby's middle name is going to be Anne after my OH's gran who sadly passed away when he was younger, all of her other great grans are still with us today so it's only fair that she is named after her. I don't think my gran is happy at all as she hasn't once said that's a nice name, although the other day she did say 'I think Anne Elizabeth is a lovely middle name' .. that was her way of tellin me she didn't think it was fair and her name should be in there (Elizabeth), i was really annoyed and thought that was very insensitive of her!

If that's who you want to name her after then go ahead dont let anyone stop you xxx

 

[babydevil1989]

Its your baby you and OH should name her what you like - I cant believe your MIL would say anything!! X

 

[WannaBtheMum]

We are also stuck on a middle name if its a girl. We would like to use a family name if it would match but been struggling to find one. My Mum and MIL have the same first name so it would be easy enough, but not sure it goes.
Our first choice for a girl is Mairead but can't decide between Alice, Kathleen (after both Mums) or Eve as a middle name. It's very hard so if you have a middle name that sounds good and also honours someone important in the family you should def use it and not fuss over people who will be offended! It's egotistical to assume a child should carry your name above someone else's!!

 

[mercedybear]

dh is deadset that we are NOT using my Moms name as a middle name now. I am pissed about it and unable to sleep. We do have other names we agree on, I honestly did not mean to offend anyone.

 

[lola85]

I wouldn't be changing it. Try talking to your OH about it? It seems unfair to have to change the name to avoid upsetting your MIL and then possibly upsetting your mum in the process (I know she said its ok to change it but id imagine she might be abit disappointed even if gracious about it). I'm assuming OH originally agreed to the name?
I've had similar comments to those above about choosing 'family' names etc. my dad died 9years ago and I was told by my mother if the baby was a boy I couldn't name him after my dad because it wasn't fair on my step dad! Which I thought was really rude! Now we know we're having a girl I want her middle name after my granny who died when I was 12 as I was very close to her but MIL says I have to include one of DHs grandmothers names too...despite her other granddaughter having both great grandmothers as middle names! But I'm not I only want her to have one middle name and it will be my grandmothers! Ill just tell my mil if she liked those names so much she could have used them for her own daughters!!

 

[mercedybear]

I'm assuming OH originally agreed to the name?


dh apparently "never agreed" to the name after realising that his mom would be upset.......I have been telling him I wanted this middle name for a long time though and he waits till now to tell her then be against it.......
He thinks we should avoid any family names so there is no conflict. Our baby will see his mom 97% more than mine, I thought she would not be so upset as she will see her grandchild so much more than my Mom is able to. Now my SIL knows and agrees with my DH to not use a family members name...I have support from no one.

 

[Mummy Bean]

plently of people have a middle name after a family memeber...doesn mean you have to include every other family member.

I would stick to your guns and go with your Mums's name - say the MIL can be choosen for any future girls.

 

[Ivory Doll]

I would stick to my guns on this one and use your mothers second name.
Your MIL sounds extremely immature! At the end of the day it's only a middle name I mean I rarely use mine, you should tell your DH you want to stick with your mothers name!!

 

[Dolly84]

We're having a boy and have decided to pick both my dad and oh dads name for middle names, I like that they are sentimental and that both family's are involved. But in your instance I think you should just stick to your mums name and mil can sod off. Reason I'm saying that is you've already told your mum what you planned in calling her and the mil just sounds like she's being a childish xxx

 

[J.D.]

Sorry, but your MIL sounds awful. I definitely wouldn't be naming anyone after her! We're not actually telling anyone the names we settle on. We figure by the time anyone finds out, it's a done deal and nobody can do anything about it.

That said, we may have it easier as my MIL hates her name (which, incidentally, I love), I don't particularly like my mother's name, and if we have a boy, both our fathers are James. That said, my wife and I agree on nothing. So naming is a challenge anyway!

 

[ttc2yrs]

That's just rude of your mil. My baby's middle names are my father in law and my dad's name. It will be Arthur, lee - Richard ,Costidell .no arguments then lol ,good luck but you do what you want to do its your baby xx

 

[babydevil1989]

Our sons middle name is my step dads name (no idea on first names yet tho!!) If anyone says anything tough shit!! X

 

[KatyR]

Its your baby and you can give her whatever name you want! We are having a boy and his middle names will he my dads name and DH friends name. If FIL ever had an issue with this i wouldn't be bothered. Its our child not his and i plan on using the names i like. Your OH should be supportive and help to come up with a solution that will make both of you happy xxx