still dont have middle name!My Honour name causing controversy

[mercedybear]

Its your baby and you can give her whatever name you want! We are having a boy and his middle names will he my dads name and DH friends name. If FIL ever had an issue with this i wouldn't be bothered. Its our child not his and i plan on using the names i like. Your OH should be supportive and help to come up with a solution that will make both of you happy xxx

I wish he would, I wish everyone would! He feels awful for her and I feel majourly let down....

 

[JJKCB]

you could combine, my son is jake kind of after his 2 uncles

Jack = JA - Kev = KE

I think you should tell you MIL where to shove it, I dont even see or talk to mine anymore after she called social service on me (she phoned them back and admitted it was a false claim because she was angry me and OH broke up *his choice not mine* but that doesn't change anything in my opinion - me and OH are fine now so all she did was cut her nose off to spite her face) families fall out all the time, personally I would ONLY name my child after either a very distant member I dont know if I just liked the name or a dead/dying member... otherwise you might fall out and end up hating that name

it would be hell though if we named after our 2 parents as my mam HATES her name and my dads ex-wifes name (who they hate because she was a bitch) is OH mums name lol

 

[mercedybear]

I did suggest adding MIL's initial to the beginning of the name, moms name: Carmen, MIL's name: Karen = Karmen but I dont think that makes anyone happy either......been up allll night upset over this.
My Mom wont see her grandbaby right after she is born at the hospital, she wont get every birthday,holiday or be able to see her as much, her disability( and income) make it difficult to travel...I wanted a way to have her feel just as involved as my MIL who will be able to see her grandbaby any time.....
It makes me mad that my dh wont stand up for me or explain my reasons.
My Moms sick, I wanted to honour her...she has spent two months worth from her pension( that she needed in the future) to ensure our child has everything she would need....

 

[onetwothreebp]

We're getting grief from my side of the family as well and it's such a pain!

DS is Asher Daniel P. (Daniel is my husband's name) so Asher has his middle and last name from OH's side of the family.

My mother was pestering me about names for this baby and I mentioned liking Jane as a possibility for a middle name (MIL is Jane) or David (FIL's name). She got SO angry. I tried to say that Leigh (my middle name) or Allen (my middle name) were possibilities as well, it just depended on what sounded better.

She's so annoying.

We will be naming this baby what WE want, regardless of choosing what side of the family to honor. MIL has been more of a mother to me anyway so I would far rather use Jane than Emily!!

Name your baby what YOU want - your families will get over it.

 

[xjesx]

It is such a shame that your MIL and now OH can't respect your decision and thereby not respecting the situation with your mom, yet your OH seems to respect the fact that his mom is jealous.

Priorities are not in line there.

Is there maybe a name your mom loves that she can tell you and maybe you suggest that name as a middle name, and then you have something special between you, your mom and your daughter. Make it a sweet secret.

Baby wouldn't be named after your mom but would have a special part of your mom because your mom would be choosing a name for baby.

 

[Butterball Ma]

That is terrible that she's so jealous. This lo's middle name is Willoughby, which is DH's grandfather's last name. He only had girls, so DH wanted to carry on the name, as his gpa was pretty influential when he was young. I never got to meet him, as he had passed by the time I came around.

When we told my gparents, who also raised me, they couldn't stop raving about the name. I could tell they really loved it and even said how nice to honor his gpa.

That's how it should be. I'm sorry you're stuck with such a terrible situation.

 

[mercedybear]

update!OH now agree's, we will have her middle name as Karmen ( Carmen+Karen) its a compromise and we will explain that her initials will not be ICP ( I see pee) but IKP.

 

[mercedybear]

nope the compromise didnt work, baby is 2 months and my Mom is now upset that their names are entwined as karen will noe assume the name is more hers I CANT WIN, what do I do now?????? NOT have a middle name 2 months after Izabelle is born?!!!

 

[daneuse27]

I think you should absolutely stick with your mom's name. The only reason you considered changing it was to please your MIL- if it weren't for her, your daughter would already have been named! It was very selfish and out of line for your MIL to voice upset over this in the first place. I hate to be bring up this sensitive topic, but seeing as your mom has health issues, can your MIL not recognize that it might be nice to her to see her granddaughter named after her while she is still alive? I think you should tell her that maybe the next daughter (if you have one) can be named after her, but for now you want to honour your mom while she is still around to see it. Your oh and his family are terribly self-centred if they can't see how important this is!

Again, I'm sorry you're in this situation but I really think your mom's name is the right choice because its what you want!

 

[mummy2o]

I'd stick with your mothers name, but promise if you have any more babies and the next is a girl use the middle name Karen. It means a great deal to you, rather than just some childish rivialy against a grown woman and you. It won't mean her grandchild will love her any less, just as she is named after your mum. My answer to OH, when you carry a child for 9 months you can name it what you like, but since its me I get the final say. He's happy with that as long as he can name any pets we get.

 

[JJKCB]

not being rude but I wouldn't give either of them the name, you MIL is rude and childish and your Mother cant even compromise mildly... neither are putting you or Izabelle first so they dont deserve to be honored really

you could be sneaky, pick something other than a name the honors your mom, he favorite flower/book/place/color etc.... or find something the 2 have in common

 

[xjesx]

nope the compromise didnt work, baby is 2 months and my Mom is now upset that their names are entwined as karen will noe assume the name is more hers I CANT WIN, what do I do now?????? NOT have a middle name 2 months after Izabelle is born?!!!

ummmm I am sorry but Karmen is pronounced Carmen, so how is it more MIL's name than Mom's name. People don't often write down someone else's middle name,they read it and say it and hear it.

 

[SweetWitch]

Sorry but your MIL disgusts me. I wouldn't use the name of a person like that, not for my first child, not ever!

Using your mum's name at this point, is up to you though.

I don't know why everyone in your OH's family involved that much anyway, it's your child.

 

[Bex84]

that's awful, my mil was a bit like this as my lo is named after my grandma and is also my mums middle name so is important for that to. She kept pushing names from dh's family but my dh wanted to name her after my grandma to. You have to go with what you and oh want, its not about anyone else, it isn't you're mil's right to have a baby named after her. My mil has made a few comments but to be honest I don't care. I have a very close relationship with my grandma, love her name so wanted my daughter to be named after a strong, beautiful, intelligent and wonderful person who also showed a lot more love towards my daughter and support without being pushy. You have to be happy, talk to your oh how its effecting you and why you want the name and why it is important

 

[Leesy]

not being rude but I wouldn't give either of them the name, you MIL is rude and childish and your Mother cant even compromise mildly... neither are putting you or Izabelle first so they dont deserve to be honored really

you could be sneaky, pick something other than a name the honors your mom, he favorite flower/book/place/color etc.... or find something the 2 have in common

This is a great idea.

 

[Tigerlily01]

If it were me I would choose the name that had the most meaning to ME, and everyone else would just have to deal. Naming a child is NOT a community activity, it is for you and your OH to decide, and noone else. Your families are being very rude and unfair...sorry if that is harsh, but do they really think that if you don't use their name it means you love them less? That is ridiculous. I'd use Carmen, or Karmen if you prefer, and just explain that you love them both, but this is the name you've chosen, end of story.

 

[RubyRainbows]

The baby probably has the surname of your husband's family - so that's plenty to honor his side, in my opinion.

I would personally give my baby a middle name that I love and that compliments her first name beautifully.

But if you want to honor your mom, then use her name. But spell it Karmen to avoid the initals "ICP." Your mom should understand that reasoning - IKP is def better initials. She clearly would have to agree with that?!

As for your MIL - too bad. She needs to get over it.

It's so unfair that naming your gorgeous baby girl has turned into such a negative experience for you! I'm sorry! Please with your next baby - don't name the baby after anyone!! Just pick a name you both love and don't tell anyone until after it's official!