Stop trying and it will happen...NOT

[hunnybump]

Don't you hate when people are like stop trying and you'll get pregnant.. i hate that because, i'm sorry you can never stop thinking about it or trying. We didn't get to really try this month because my fertile week was the exact week we were on vacation for Thanksgiving so it would feel weird to BD at someone elses house So CD11 was on Monday and we BD that morning and left for vacation Tuesday at like 5am. And then BD once while on vacation but it was on CD16 which could have been too late. My last 2 cycles were only 25 days long which is a little early for me my average is 26-29. My AF should be here by Sunday. So if you think about it i still fit one time in there because i didn't want to be fully out of the running lol which proves you can't stop trying. And of course seeing family brought up the questions if we were trying or not I'm secretly hoping it will happen this month but I am doubtful since i feel completely normal and I have the exact crampy feeling i always get a couple days before AF. For a little background we were NTNP for a whole year then we've been TTC for another year and not one BFP. I think i'll be making a doctors run this month or next to see if anything is wrong. I don't want to go because i'm scared to find that something is wrong.

 

[MH53ADwife]

Ugh I can't stand when people say this. Honestly I don't chart, or do anything special besides take Metformin and lay upside down after BD. it's still annoying, I try to keep our struggle to ourselves cause everyone has an opinion on it. The hubby and I decided to just have fun this month and it was still on my mind. We were out of town for O time too but that never stops us haha. It's hell to always have it on your mind, I don't know how someone could not think about it.

 

[aintlifegrand]

I could punch people that say that. Now that we are adopting, everyone's favorite thing to say is, "Now that you are adopting, you will probably get pregnant". Thanks, but that's not the point!

 

[hunnybump]

MH53ADwife- I lay upside down and put my feet up after BD too lol.

aintlifegrand- People are just so oblivious to the whole process because it was easy for them. I wish it was easy for everyone. I also hate that people get pregnant who weren't even trying or they got pregnant the first month they tried. I know it's not their fault but it hurts to hear that news.

 

[MH53ADwife]

Hey, my doctor said it won't hurt to try it!

Yea one of my husbands friends put up a photo on Facebook last night that made me wanna barf. The two of them holding a sign that says "we're pregnant!". Gag me. Then my husband saw they posted that she's 5 weeks along, he turns to me and says "isn't that a little early?!" I said "no it was probably a mistake and their first try" as I threw up in my mouth.

 

[hunnybump]

Hey, my doctor said it won't hurt to try it!

Yea one of my husbands friends put up a photo on Facebook last night that made me wanna barf. The two of them holding a sign that says "we're pregnant!". Gag me. Then my husband saw they posted that she's 5 weeks along, he turns to me and says "isn't that a little early?!" I said "no it was probably a mistake and their first try" as I threw up in my mouth.

This is what i want to do when i see that stuff

 

[juliann]

Hey, my doctor said it won't hurt to try it!

Yea one of my husbands friends put up a photo on Facebook last night that made me wanna barf. The two of them holding a sign that says "we're pregnant!". Gag me. Then my husband saw they posted that she's 5 weeks along, he turns to me and says "isn't that a little early?!" I said "no it was probably a mistake and their first try" as I threw up in my mouth.

This is what i want to do when i see that stuff

This made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

 

[Hb.x]

I just think it's a really patronising thing to say to someone in this position. The other one I hate it 'Don't worry, it will happen, just keep going'. Seriously? And how do you know that? It doesn't help at all, I literally go red in the face when I hear that!!!

 

[2have4kids]

If we stopped trying we'd very likely miss that time every month, i'd go back to not ovulating and I'd have no hope of ever being a mother because I don't have alot of time to waste.

I call these people sabatours, like when you go on a diet and that friend swings by your desk with freshly baked cookies, or your colleague speaks of sumptuous decadent chocolaty cake she's going to have when she goes home tonight after the pizza that her hubbie ordered. There's always someone willing to try to push the boundaries to test your patience and willpower.

 

[tawanamood]

When I first told people we were TTC with fertility issues you would think they'd take the fertility issues part into consideration, but NO!

I was told to stop thinking about it by so many people. Oh yea, I'll forget all about TTC when I'm laid up in the doctor's office for upteenth time with a vaginal ultrasound wand up my vagina like I'm being probed by E.T.

To be completely honest I didn't know humanity could be so dense until I entered our 14th month of TTC. I had to bat all the 'positive' thinkers away earlier this year and explain that I have a medical condition that only a medical professional can resolve. I believe in God, but God also told us that we have to help ourselves to receive his blessings which means sitting on my tail thinking happy thoughts won't help me acheive my goal; getting fertility drugs will!

After I said that my family finally got it and so did my friends. Geez...all those months I smiled and said nothing.

 

[PinkPeony]

When I first told people we were TTC with fertility issues you would think they'd take the fertility issues part into consideration, but NO!

I was told to stop thinking about it by so many people. Oh yea, I'll forget all about TTC when I'm laid up in the doctor's office for upteenth time with a vaginal ultrasound wand up my vagina like I'm being probed by E.T.

To be completely honest I didn't know humanity could be so dense until I entered our 14th month of TTC. I had to bat all the 'positive' thinkers away earlier this year and explain that I have a medical condition that only a medical professional can resolve. I believe in God, but God also told us that we have to help ourselves to receive his blessings which means sitting on my tail thinking happy thoughts won't help me acheive my goal; getting fertility drugs will!

After I said that my family finally got it and so did my friends. Geez...all those months I smiled and said nothing.

Omg you almost made me blow coffee out my nose! I just got back home after getting wanded by an ultrasound tech. It was like she was digging for gold in there!

Ppl just don't get it. It's like what do you mean you can't get pregnant?? You must be doing something wrong. Somehow your psychology around the whole thing is taking control of your body. Therefore NOT thinking about it must be the answer. Brilliant! Who knew my thoughts were killing off my husbands sperm all this time!

When someone says that shit I wanna say - oh ok I'll tell my FS that. She can just retire I guess.

 

[Mrs Jewksey]

I am just loving this thread. I to have had numerous pieces of useless advice thrown at me "stop thinking about it, Maybe its him (I just told you, he's fine, he's had his sperm test) stop trying so hard (Hmm, how hard is too hard?) Don't eat cheese (What the hell!?!) Take more vitamins & minerals (I'm stuffed with the things) Try the doctor (have been for the past 6 months) have him check your hormones (he has, they are fine) and on, and on, and on!!!

Its like you tell them, and they just forget

As of yet, we haven't a clue why we are not conceiving.

 

[GreenOrchid]

When I first told people we were TTC with fertility issues you would think they'd take the fertility issues part into consideration, but NO!

I was told to stop thinking about it by so many people. Oh yea, I'll forget all about TTC when I'm laid up in the doctor's office for upteenth time with a vaginal ultrasound wand up my vagina like I'm being probed by E.T.

To be completely honest I didn't know humanity could be so dense until I entered our 14th month of TTC. I had to bat all the 'positive' thinkers away earlier this year and explain that I have a medical condition that only a medical professional can resolve. I believe in God, but God also told us that we have to help ourselves to receive his blessings which means sitting on my tail thinking happy thoughts won't help me acheive my goal; getting fertility drugs will!

After I said that my family finally got it and so did my friends. Geez...all those months I smiled and said nothing.

Omg you almost made me blow coffee out my nose! I just got back home after getting wanded by an ultrasound tech. It was like she was digging for gold in there!

Ppl just don't get it. It's like what do you mean you can't get pregnant?? You must be doing something wrong. Somehow your psychology around the whole thing is taking control of your body. Therefore NOT thinking about it must be the answer. Brilliant! Who knew my thoughts were killing off my husbands sperm all this time!

When someone says that shit I wanna say - oh ok I'll tell my FS that. She can just retire I guess.

Oh my gosh THANK YOU both for saying all this. Seriously, if I hear "just relax" or "you have to think positive" one more time I will lose it. All I know is that when I finally do get pregnant, I won't be making a Facebook announcement.

 

[tawanamood]

When I first told people we were TTC with fertility issues you would think they'd take the fertility issues part into consideration, but NO!

I was told to stop thinking about it by so many people. Oh yea, I'll forget all about TTC when I'm laid up in the doctor's office for upteenth time with a vaginal ultrasound wand up my vagina like I'm being probed by E.T.

To be completely honest I didn't know humanity could be so dense until I entered our 14th month of TTC. I had to bat all the 'positive' thinkers away earlier this year and explain that I have a medical condition that only a medical professional can resolve. I believe in God, but God also told us that we have to help ourselves to receive his blessings which means sitting on my tail thinking happy thoughts won't help me acheive my goal; getting fertility drugs will!

After I said that my family finally got it and so did my friends. Geez...all those months I smiled and said nothing.

Omg you almost made me blow coffee out my nose! I just got back home after getting wanded by an ultrasound tech. It was like she was digging for gold in there!

Ppl just don't get it. It's like what do you mean you can't get pregnant?? You must be doing something wrong. Somehow your psychology around the whole thing is taking control of your body. Therefore NOT thinking about it must be the answer. Brilliant! Who knew my thoughts were killing off my husbands sperm all this time!

When someone says that shit I wanna say - oh ok I'll tell my FS that. She can just retire I guess.

It's like everyone becomes a Reproductive Endocrinologist when you're battling infertility. LOL @ your FS finally being able to retire. Some people love believing they're a well full of perfect knowledge and suggestions.

The one person I hated getting stern with was my mom. The moment she told me that all things were possible with God in reference to my infertility I lost it. Ever since then when she brings up me having children she's gentler and more scientific instead of spiritual. I enjoy all things dealing with God, but at that point it had been a year and a half since we started trying; I was frustrated.

If I do mention my infertility on FB people leave me alone. This isn't something I need to prodded about on a daily basis and as a result I rarely post about my PCOS anymore.

 

[sar0417]

Its always those that haven't got a clue who say this and its the most frustrating thing in the world because they don't realise how you cant just turn the switch off!

 

[Briss]

I know it's supposed to be sad but reading some of your posts ladies could not help laughing. Thank you that cheered me up! it's CD1 for me today and the end of yet another disappointing and heart breaking TTC year…

The most annoying one I heard was "you really must believe and it will happen" I do not know if my "believing" or "relaxing" will increase my hubby's sperm count, nagging him to stop drinking beer certainly will if only he ever listens

 

[2have4kids]

I know it's supposed to be sad but reading some of your posts ladies could not help laughing. Thank you that cheered me up! it's CD1 for me today and the end of yet another disappointing and heart breaking TTC year…

The most annoying one I heard was "you really must believe and it will happen" I do not know if my "believing" or "relaxing" will increase my hubby's sperm count, nagging him to stop drinking beer certainly will if only he ever listens

And the holiday season doesn't help stave off the beer drinking does it (thinking about the
I'm on cd 5 so we're pretty close. I really hope there's less stress more bd-ing these holidays, maybe even translating into bfp's. I've just had a melt down last night and didn't go to work this morning (texted appt). I didn't mention what it was and stooopidly he asked if it was it "baby stuff". OMG, none of your business, I lied and said a dental appt.

At least if we do ivf and I come back preggers with triplets they won't be all that shocked and surprised.

 

[Briss]

I know it's supposed to be sad but reading some of your posts ladies could not help laughing. Thank you that cheered me up! it's CD1 for me today and the end of yet another disappointing and heart breaking TTC year…

The most annoying one I heard was "you really must believe and it will happen" I do not know if my "believing" or "relaxing" will increase my hubby's sperm count, nagging him to stop drinking beer certainly will if only he ever listens

And the holiday season doesn't help stave off the beer drinking does it (thinking about the
I'm on cd 5 so we're pretty close. I really hope there's less stress more bd-ing these holidays, maybe even translating into bfp's. I've just had a melt down last night and didn't go to work this morning (texted appt). I didn't mention what it was and stooopidly he asked if it was it "baby stuff". OMG, none of your business, I lied and said a dental appt.

At least if we do ivf and I come back preggers with triplets they won't be all that shocked and surprised.

I will be ovulating this Christmas and could really use some "sober" sperm, probably not gonna happen but I will try my best, just ordered more arginine for hubby will be tripling his dose for next year as opposed to just "believing" or "relaxing"

 

[hopefulS17]

Hello I am new to this site. Have been TTC for 9 months and am getting people telling me ALL the time that "it'll be us next" and it is driving me round the bend because how am I supposed to relax when people don't stop talking to me about it?! I understand they don't know what's going on, but I wish people could be a bit more sensitive. So, how do you relax? I am not very good at it, I have to say!

 

[Miss_Awesome]

Ugh! If I had a dollar for every "stop thinking about it, it'll happen" comment... I'd be able to skip ahead to IVF because I could then afford it.

Seriously though, I've had SOOO many supposedly well-meaning friends (mostly, they just wanted to stop hearing about my infertility) tell me to just relax or stop trying. I have one "friend" who knows what I've been through and who got pregnant while cheating on her boyfriend, mind you, tell me that of COURSE I'd get pregnant this year; her mom said 2012 was year of the baby! Naturally, every single one of our friends got pregnant and here I am hating every moment of it.

I was even seeing a Nurse Practitioner this year who was referred to me by a friend who'd had trouble getting pregnant. She was able to help my friend, but I knew more on the subject of infertility than she did. On what became my last visit, she cut me off mid-sentence to not only tell me to 1) "just relaaaax!" but 2) "just adopt!" I wish I knew what a waste of time seeing her would be. She only wanted to hand out prometrium after I told her it made me sick and did nothing for me (my progesterone levels were fine), but she told me I didn't need to be tested for my AMH levels as it was the "thing that tells you whether your parts are defective, it's not important." Also, she told me on my second visit I didn't have PCOS because of whatever reason when I actually have most of the symptoms except the polycystic ovaries (which I've read can happen, ugh).

Sorry for the rant, I just hate, hate, hate hearing "stop trying!" like everyone's a medical professional well-versed in infertility.