ThiaC
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I'll remember all my miscarriages, every time it was something that touched me deeply.
The strangest one, I called it Xixi. Right on 10 dpo, I got cramps and fatigue. Then the time for my period came - spotting for three days, and I worried my pregnancy hormones weren't strong enough, or my baby wasn't healthy.
I'm a twin. I dreamed of twin babies. Weeks 4-6 were difficult, other than work, I could just eat, cry and sleep. My migraines were terrible. I had to take multiple days off, because I just couldn't leave my bed. My previous pregnancy was horrible too, so I didn't think much of it.
One day, I felt very off. Like my body was in a wrong rythym, like my heart was very fast, even if it clearly beat very slowly.The feeling gave me nausea, headache, hard to focus.
On the third evening, I lay down and listened: other than my heart, there was another beating, somewhere down, resonating in my stomach or uterus. I measured the speed: more than twice the speed of my own heart (I have a slow heart, 50-60 per minute). A correct speed for a baby! Then, I got up, and lay down again. The heartbeat split into two heart beats of a different pace! I recognized this weird arrythmic thumping as the thing that had been bothering me for days - only now was it strong enough for me to understand what it was.
I played with it a lot: calmed down and they would unite, pretended to be scared or moved around, and they would split. I imagined them. I had named this pregnancy according to my dreams "Xixi" meaning "happiness or giggles", so I called them Xi 1 and Xi 2.
After googling "feel baby heart beat at 6 weeks", I felt less optimistic, saw lots of info telling it's not medically possible - the baby is in a sac, which grows on a stem, so the beating can't reach the body. I had seen my earlier pregnancy loss at 7 weeks, that structure wouldn't allow for the rhythm to pass.
This made me sad. I was either imagining it, or my babies were sick, deformed, somehow attached to the uterus. My health was horrible, nausea, migraines.. When my boyfriend came, I couldn't even come to meet him at the airport. Day four after their heart beats, I couldn't feel them any more. I started spotting. I lost blood, a lot of it. We went to the ER, but they couldn't see anything, they said if there had been a pregnancy, it was already over.
My health problems persisted, later in I got Chinese herbal medicine to "help me clean up my uterus", ate well, and mostly got over it.
But I'll never forget the feeling of two hearts inside me, no matter how many articles say it's impossible.
The strangest one, I called it Xixi. Right on 10 dpo, I got cramps and fatigue. Then the time for my period came - spotting for three days, and I worried my pregnancy hormones weren't strong enough, or my baby wasn't healthy.
I'm a twin. I dreamed of twin babies. Weeks 4-6 were difficult, other than work, I could just eat, cry and sleep. My migraines were terrible. I had to take multiple days off, because I just couldn't leave my bed. My previous pregnancy was horrible too, so I didn't think much of it.
One day, I felt very off. Like my body was in a wrong rythym, like my heart was very fast, even if it clearly beat very slowly.The feeling gave me nausea, headache, hard to focus.
On the third evening, I lay down and listened: other than my heart, there was another beating, somewhere down, resonating in my stomach or uterus. I measured the speed: more than twice the speed of my own heart (I have a slow heart, 50-60 per minute). A correct speed for a baby! Then, I got up, and lay down again. The heartbeat split into two heart beats of a different pace! I recognized this weird arrythmic thumping as the thing that had been bothering me for days - only now was it strong enough for me to understand what it was.
I played with it a lot: calmed down and they would unite, pretended to be scared or moved around, and they would split. I imagined them. I had named this pregnancy according to my dreams "Xixi" meaning "happiness or giggles", so I called them Xi 1 and Xi 2.
After googling "feel baby heart beat at 6 weeks", I felt less optimistic, saw lots of info telling it's not medically possible - the baby is in a sac, which grows on a stem, so the beating can't reach the body. I had seen my earlier pregnancy loss at 7 weeks, that structure wouldn't allow for the rhythm to pass.
This made me sad. I was either imagining it, or my babies were sick, deformed, somehow attached to the uterus. My health was horrible, nausea, migraines.. When my boyfriend came, I couldn't even come to meet him at the airport. Day four after their heart beats, I couldn't feel them any more. I started spotting. I lost blood, a lot of it. We went to the ER, but they couldn't see anything, they said if there had been a pregnancy, it was already over.
My health problems persisted, later in I got Chinese herbal medicine to "help me clean up my uterus", ate well, and mostly got over it.
But I'll never forget the feeling of two hearts inside me, no matter how many articles say it's impossible.
