Strange question......

[Khadijah-x]

Heya everyone! How are we all?

Bit of a strange post, but... is anyone else petrified of labour in the sense of, being convinced they may die in labour?

I also have these thoughts that I don't think I'll ever be a 'mum', I just cannot imagine myself with a big bump and actually being able to create a human :/

I've been pregnant twice (MMC and MC 2010-2011) and maybe my losses have made me have these thoughts..I am not sure!

Am I alone in this?

 

[tverb84]

I'm scared of how much pain being in labour will be.

 

[notquite]

I'm the same as tverb, scared of the pain and all the medical stuff!

 

[Katy Bug]

Yes, when I had my son I was petrified, so much that when I was pushing I had a major panic attack and shouted to everyone that I was going to die. All my family heard me in the waiting room for two hours. But..everything went fine and my mom later told me they were laughing at me because I wasn't going to die, I was just in so much pain I wanted to die. So if you can't deal with pain, go for the epidural!

But I want a second, and that means going through all that and the fear of dying again. It's an anxiety but were strong. We can break through that fear

 

[notquite]

Lol but what if you're more scared of the epidural than the pain??

 

[Katy Bug]

Lol but what if you're more scared of the epidural than the pain??

I was the same way. Terrified of the epidural, imagined worse case scenario. But when it came time and I felt the pain, there was no doubt. I was getting medicine, even if it killed me!

 

[Eline]

I agree, if you have a certain degree of pain, you won't worry about the epidural at all.

I'm not really worried myself. When I think about labour, I imagine everything going smoothly. I probably should imagine something a little more realistic, but I think the best approach is to stay casual. I'll see how it goes and if it hurts too much, I'll ask for pain relief.

 

[Kiki1993]

I'm not scared of labor, the only bit that I think will be like a 10 on my pain scale is the bit where he actually comes out and I tear or get cut, contractions, well my sister put on that slendertone belt that I bought and she said that it was exactly how here contractions felt like and she was looking like she was in agony with it, I put it on a higher power and it was uncomfortable but not painful. I'm trying to not scare myself and that made me feel a bit better about it, it use to scare me when I was trying but now I think it is doable, there is medical help on hand and it's very rare to die from childbirth The only case I have heard of in my town in the past 10 years is a woman that had a heart condition which the docs weren't aware of. You will all be fine!

 

[Ganton]

I remember thinking that before my first. I wasn't worried about the pain, but did worry that something could go horribly wrong, and I felt a sense of relief after my LO was born that I was still ok. It was never an overwhelming fear though, just occasional thoughts that a smooth labour and delivery isn't guaranteed. I was less worried with my second, but still kept asking the midwives about my blood loss after the birth as it kept getting heavier after a few lighter days. I'd heard a few stories of haemorrhage and was worried about the same for me. The people I knew were all fine in the end btw.

 

[KalonKiki]

It's perfectly normal to be afraid of labor, it's a pretty scary experience! It's hard to imagine ourselves with children or a big pregnant belly when we've never had those things too. I can promise you that when they do happen though, most if not all of these feelings will turn into more positive feelings. Honestly when I was in labor with DS I was more afraid of him dying than I was of me dying. We both turn out perfectly fine and alive though, and even though I was afraid to hold him when they held him up to me because he was so tiny and fragile, as soon as they placed him in my arms it was like magic, like he belonged there against my chest and time stood still. It was a perfect moment.

It's normal to be afraid of these things at first, but you CAN be a mom and not every pregnancy will be a loss.

 

[ktod]

I don't know if this helps but I think it's good to remember that labour (and pregnancy) is such a tiny part of the whole journey becoming a parent.

When I think about having my second, I don't even think about the pregnancy/delivery part. It's so insignificant compared to the reality of actually having a child to look after.

I only really learnt this after having my first child. Programmes like OBEM made me think about the birth and think that this would be some sort of climax, but nothing really made me think about the days/months with a baby which is harder (but not as physically painful lol)

 

[tverb84]

I don't know if this helps but I think it's good to remember that labour (and pregnancy) is such a tiny part of the whole journey becoming a parent.

When I think about having my second, I don't even think about the pregnancy/delivery part. It's so insignificant compared to the reality of actually having a child to look after.

I only really learnt this after having my first child. Programmes like OBEM made me think about the birth and think that this would be some sort of climax, but nothing really made me think about the days/months with a baby which is harder (but not as physically painful lol)

That's a good way of looking at it.