Stress and Pregnancy Help

[Karinama98]

Hello. I have a question in relation to how you handle stress during pregnancy.

My mother about a month ago was diagnosed with liver/spleen cancer. I was visiting her this weekend with my husband as she's 5 hours from where we live - we actually announced our pregnancy to her and two of my sisters as well. Today she opened up to me and told me that doctors have given her 6-8 months if chemo doesn't help with the cancer progress. In short, I'm the one her and my father choose to handle their estate in the event of both of their deaths (my father passed away from cancer earlier this year - a month and a half after a MC I had).

I am extremely stressed out right now, but keep trying to think about the baby and how my stress could affect him or her. Since I can't take my Xanax, does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can better handle this? I'm currently 8 weeks to the date.

 

[LoveSanrio]

When I was 24 my dad was shot during a home invasion/robbery in a property of his. It was 6 days before Christmas, and I was 3 months pregnant. He had to have surgery to remove some fluid from his chest, but during the surgery he had a grand maul seizure and oxygen was cut off from his brain for far too long. He went brain dead, and doctors could not explain to me what exactly had happened, and why. He was on life support for 2 days before declared brain dead. I was his oldest child, and he was not married so it was my call to take him off of life support. It was very hard because when a person is on life support they just look like they are sleeping. He passed away at 4:10pm on December 21st, 2006. To this day I don't even remember driving an hour and a half home afterwards... I guess I was in shock.

I too had to handle my dad's estate. It was a lot of work, and very difficult to do while grieving. My mom and I never had a relationship, and my dad raised me by himself. While I was cleaning out my dad's house I found a box of school pictures, drawings, awards, and report cards dating all the way back to my kindergarten year in school. I will never forget that.

When Christmas came I had to take my kids over to my dad's house to open the gifts he had already bought for them. They were still there, under the tree. It was so hard... it just felt like he had to run an errand and would be back any time. I did my best to try and enjoy myself for my kids' sakes.

Later on, in July of 2007 I had my DD. She was healthy and beautiful. My blood pressure was a bit high towards the end of my pregnancy, but other than that things looked great. What I am trying to say is not to worry about that too much. Things happen in life unfortunately... awful things sometimes, that are beyond our control. Your baby will be just fine hun. It is hard not to worry, but worrying about this on top of everything else won't do you any good. My best wishes to you, and your family.

 

[Karinama98]

Thank you for your response and I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know I've read articles and such about how a mother's stress could potentially be passed onto the child because of the elevations of stress hormones.

Again, thank you for sharing your personal story, and knowing that your DD is and has been doing well. That helps me feel better about my situation and knowing that I just need to breath.