Struggling a little :(

[jesssika]

You know the saying "a woman becomes a mother the moment she finds out she's pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he sees his child"?
I feel like that's completed switched in our relationship!
He accepted it straight away and was happ from the get go, we've had 2 scans and it just hasn't set in to me yet, not through all the tiredness or morning sickness or moodiness! I just feel so distant from the little life in me where he feels so comfortable. I'm struggling a bit and I'm scared!

 

[ClairAye]

Honestly for me it kicked in fully after I was feeling kicks daily as I knew he was in there, it's hard for it to set in sometimes until you feel your baby moving. Try not to worry

 

[jozylynn896]

I think I posted a thread like this before you were even on bnb.

It didn't kick in for me until a couple of weeks ago. When I was pregnant I felt him kick and I loved it. Feeling him hiccup, knowing I had a baby in me. But I wasn't sure I loved HIM yet. I wasn't sure how this would play out.
He was born. Beautiful moment. Absolutely magical. But it felt awkward. I didn't know what to do. I felt like he was this stranger who i didn't know any thing about. I knew I loved him, but I felt guilty that I didn't have that" "mommy" love quite yet.

The first few weeks were just filed with crying popping eating and sleeping.
But then I started to learn him. I started to know when he was hungry, avoiding the crying. I know when he wants to be held. I know the cry when he needs to be burped.
And I absolutely love him. There is not a single person in the entire world I love more than Noah. No one.

Its important not to feel guilty. Some people fall in love fight away. Some people take a while. I felt do guilty like I was a bad mom. But for some people, it's hard to love someone you know nothing about.

Good luck, and I promise you, your feelings towards your lo will change?

 

[jesssika]

I think I posted a thread like this before you were even on bnb.

It didn't kick in for me until a couple of weeks ago. When I was pregnant I felt him kick and I loved it. Feeling him hiccup, knowing I had a baby in me. But I wasn't sure I loved HIM yet. I wasn't sure how this would play out.
He was born. Beautiful moment. Absolutely magical. But it felt awkward. I didn't know what to do. I felt like he was this stranger who i didn't know any thing about. I knew I loved him, but I felt guilty that I didn't have that" "mommy" love quite yet.

The first few weeks were just filed with crying popping eating and sleeping.
But then I started to learn him. I started to know when he was hungry, avoiding the crying. I know when he wants to be held. I know the cry when he needs to be burped.
And I absolutely love him. There is not a single person in the entire world I love more than Noah. No one.

Its important not to feel guilty. Some people fall in love fight away. Some people take a while. I felt do guilty like I was a bad mom. But for some people, it's hard to love someone you know nothing about.

Good luck, and I promise you, your feelings towards your lo will change?

That was like poetry, absolutely beautiful! Thank you.

 

[17pregnant]

Jozlynn I remember your post, think I was a newbie on BNB And Jess I feel exactly the same way... I love children, and I know I love my son, because he's mine, but I don't know how I can be a mum? I don't know if I will ever feel like a mum. I don't know how to explain it, i'm scared aswell. Maybe it's because I don't even know what the love will be like because i've never experienced anything like it :/ I don't know x

 

[jozylynn896]

No one can be prepared for this kind of love! I I've I'm in live with oh but I'm IN LOVE with Noah. as a mom you're in love with your child like you can never IMAGINE. You guys will see, I promise. Pm me if you ladies ever need to.

 

[honest]

I felt the same way in the beginning of my pregnancy. I think it's because you had never thought of yourself with a baby before. In my case, I hadn't even considered the thought and then suddenly it happened. It took a long time for my brain to register what was actually going on and what is actually happening inside there.
A new person is being formed, someone that you don't know, yet it is half you and half your partner that somehow turned into some one of his own. That is scary, it's a lot to take in but in time as you give it thought and try to identify with the parts that you have in common, you will become more comfortable with him. And after a while you feel like he is yours.

And when he starts to kick, you will feel very connected, especially when those cute little kicks start to hurt.

 

[jesssika]

Thank you all I'm at least reassured that I'm not alone, makes me feel better

 

[mummytobe_93]

I am the exact same- i love my baby to bits bu i feel so distant, im too afraid to make plans and think about the future and get attached because i am so scared something is going to go wrong! I think once you feel kicks thats when it will hit you

 

[ClairAye]

Even after LO was born I was like 'He's mine...?' But the love for them is like nothing on earth! I have cried over how much I just love my son! You won't feel like this forever

 

[x__amour]

It's okay to feel like that, I promise. It may take a while to actually accept it! But once your baby is here, there is absolutely no describing it.

 

[magic93]

Everybody takes to it differently, but dont worry itll come to you. I was soooo ready when I got pregnant but I ha ad my doubts after having two miscarriages, it didnt even feel real until I had my 18 week scan and found out I was having a boy. But once your LO is here theres nothing in the world like it and itll really hit you then

 

[ShakeItBaby1]

Reading this post made me feel SO much better. The other day OH & I got into a huge fight because I told him I didn't know if I was ready to be a mom yet, and how I was freaking out because part of me felt like my life was over. I always enjoy going out and staying out with my friends and sister until all hours of the morning. It definitely didn't help that me & OH's relationship is kind of rocky . I am absolutely terrified because I don't want LO to get here and I'm scared I'll feel absolutely nothing. OH accepted it straight away that I was pregnant, and at 9 weeks - its just now starting to hit me as my body changes and there's physical changes. Trust me - you're NOT alone.

 

[jozylynn896]

I thought my life was over too. But now I see it has just begun.

 

[jesssika]

At least we have this forum to let out feelings we feel will be oppressed, I feel good knowing I can come somewhere and get support not judgement shakeit, you can PM me to talk whenever you want! That was literally exactly what happened with me and my OH

 

[cammy]

honestly I don't think it will completely kick in until you have had your bubby.

 

[octosquishy]

That's how it was for me, too.
It took me almost 2 months after my son was born for me to fall in love...and now he's like my best friend I love him with everything in me

It just takes time. I wasn't happy when I found out, either. Now I couldn't imagine life without him. I feel like the luckiest person in the world because I get to spend all day every day with him .. plus he loves me the most, of course, I'm the mommah, the lover

 

[mayb_baby]

I remember when OH left the hospital and the nurses left me alone with Michael, I was in awe I just stared and him and cuddled him but thought 'what do I do now?'. Its indescribable but such an amazing feeling x

 

[jesssika]

Thanks guys! I'm getting used to it fast, I'm really quite excited now! Both our families were absolutely overjoyed which makes it so much easier to be excited! I'm also getting a hard little bump so it's feeling so real!

 

[Jennaxo]

It's a bit surreal but once their born its a whole different feeling to being pregnant! Apparently I kept saying to my mum when my little boy was born 'I have a baby, I have a baby, this is my baby' it just didn't feel real! Now it's been nearly a whole year and I love my son more than anything in the world. It will come don't you worry!