Struggling to come to terms with milk drying up..

[rosabelle]

I had wanted to breast feed and tried to do so for almost 2 weeks but i really wasnt coping..
i was in pain (even after seeing numerous consultants about latching on) i was bleeding from my nipples and just generally felt depressed. I thought i would try to express more to spare my nipples but wasnt getting anywhere near enough to keep up with baby..
so we had to go and buy formula, which was fine. I felt like i would end up in a mental home if i didnt... so i kept expressing as well, trying to get a couple of feeds a day out.
Now, my milk is drying up (obviously because im not feeding her from my boobs) and it has just hit me that i wont be breast feeding her... its made me so very upset.. i just cant stop crying..
i know she will be getting what she needs from formula but i feel like such a failure...
im sure it will get easier in time but at the moment i just feel so down..

Anyone in a similar situation? how did you cope with the guilt?

xx

 

[susiesue]

I was in a very similar situation after my ds was born in April. I really wanted to bf and had not realised how difficult it might be. I had a forceps delivery after a long labour. Baby didn't initially latch but I wasn't worried at first. A few days went in with everyone telling me not to worry, but the latch never came. I had to introduce formula in the end. I tried expressing for about 3 weeks but wasn't getting enough off and in the end I gave up. I felt so guilty I cried and cried. My baby is thriving and happy now, there are still days I feel guilty but it does get better. I would love to turn back time and try again but that can't happen. Your baby will be happy and healthy and remember that breastfeeding is a small part of what you give your baby as a mum, there are so many other good things that you can do and can control as they grow. Good luck

 

[.rollinn.]

I never breastfeed,but i hope you get past it hun it's not your fault and you're in no way a bad mommy. You CAN still bond with the baby while formula feeding i prop my baby up on a pillow and cuddle him while he eats. My lo lovessss it, that might help you some and make ff better for you.

 

[Mabythistime]

I never breastfeed,but i hope you get past it hun it's not your fault and you're in no way a bad mommy. You CAN still bond with the baby while formula feeding i prop my baby up on a pillow and cuddle him while he eats. My lo lovessss it, that might help you some and make ff better for you.

This is very true.

There is also a special bonding when you FF. I love the eye contact. It is such a warm feeling.

It will get easier in time Hang in there. I went through a lot of bad guilt, until I realised: Its not the end of the world to use formula and a happy mommy makes for a happier baby.

 

[Mummythree]

Aww i know its hard. i had no choice but to stop breastfeeding my son, i breastfed for 5days and struggled 3 of those days. as soon as my milk came in i was so full that my son couldnt latch on, even expressing was not making them go down. various midwives tried to help but i had and they had done all they could. my son was getting upset and frustrated at the breast because he couldnt get on to feed. my nipples were in a state bleeding, cracked and layers of skin coming off so painfull. i had to accept i had done all i could and there was nothing else i could have done.

Formula was the best way to go for my son and for me. it was hard at first and i cried giving him a bottle. i felt a total failure and the thought of my milk drying up made me feel so down. it did get easier and i thought well at least i dont have to get in a state anymore he isnt hes happy, healthy thriving thats all i could wish for.

i breastfed my 2nd for 14months so i never thought i wouldnt be able to breastfeed her little brother. the odd time i still feel guilty and down that i was robbed of that but i just try to remember i did the best thing for both of us.
i breastfed my 2nd for 14months and it was hard i ended up with pnd and im glad im in a better frame of mind. good luck it will get easier. x

 

[rosabelle]

thankyou all for your kind words...
I think had i continued to bf i would have ended up very very unhappy and i do feel that i can now enjoy my baby rather then dread feeding her.. some days are harder then others.
I just have to keep reminding myself that she is happy so i should be to!

 

[hedgewitch]

This is where I am now. I've fed every hour without fail for 12 days and I am wiped out. I have too much milk but blocked ducts as she just can't get it all forceful letdown etc. So I have also been pumping cue bleeding blanched nipples mastitis etc. I have spent the last week in tears every time I feed. I feel like I am being selfish in depriving her but I can't take anymore. She takes 30 mins to feed. Sleeps for 20 then screams for more.........I just feel like I failed......almost like I'm grieving.
Last night I relented. Formula at 11pm after a mammoth 5hrs cluster feeding. She slept from 11.30pm till 3am. Then from 3.30am till 7am. Omg!!!! I got sleep. Got 2 wods of concrete in my bra which is agony but I got sleep!!!! So I am now struggling with the guilt.

 

[rosabelle]

i am sorry you are struggling hedgewitch, have you thought about supplementing with formula?

 

[hedgewitch]

Its so hard when guilt comes into it isn't it. We all as mothers want "the best" for our babies. Like I said to my hubby, I don't think "she" actually cares where her food comes from so long as she gets it and on formula she also gets the sleep she needs. I have one happy baby today! She's alert and awake and NOT feeding ever hour or crying which to me says I'm giving "the best" for her!!