Struggling to decide whether to find out!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Finsmummy, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. Finsmummy

    Finsmummy Mum to 2 boys

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    I have my scan in a few weeks. Originally I wanted a surprise and still do partly. But OH wants to know, so Im not sure what to do. I dont want everybody knowing everything and wanted to keep something special for the end iykwim? x
     
  2. MrsMalowey

    MrsMalowey Mummy to Sophie

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    I considered it for a very short while before we both decided we wanted to know the sex. I am so pleased i found out, it means i can prepare better and look forward to meeting my baby girl!
     
  3. sueh81

    sueh81 Mummy to 1 & 1 on the way

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    if you both decide to find out then I think it's sweet if you kept the secret between the two of you. Even if you did find out you'd still have a surprise at the birth - what LO one looks / sounds like, holding it in your arms etc that's all a major surprise in itself!! :)
    xx
     
  4. Jewls

    Jewls Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same o have my scan next week and although we will be finding out i dont want everyone to know as i feel that they will loose the excitement... but i also wont be able to keep it a secret....
    but i hate calling Baby "IT" and im so excited about being able to go shopping :)
     
  5. Finsmummy

    Finsmummy Mum to 2 boys

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    Yes I think there are a few things to think about!

    Keeping a secret from others - saying he/she or using baby's name!
    Whether my 4 year old can be told as he will tell everyone!
    Hiding anything I buy due to colours.

    It could prove difficult lol x
     
  6. stouffer

    stouffer Well-Known Member

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    I have my scan on Monday. My husband doesn't mind if we find out or don't. I lean mostly towards not finding out but then in some ways I think it would be a lot easier to know.

    I think I would really like to keep it a surprise for the birth - it's just always the way I imagined it would be, but at the same time, I'm not going to look away at the scan either so I might find out accidentally on purpose.

    It's so hard to know what to do for the best!
     
  7. 0stara

    0stara Well-Known Member

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    The way I see it, is it's a surprise whether it happens now or at the birth, right? You are no less surprised at the scan than when baby is delivered.

    I am definitely in the 'find out now' camp :) it gives me so much more time to bond with baby, calling him or her by name, buying nice clothes and toys.

    To me, the shock of giving birth is a surprise enough ;)
     
  8. Jewls

    Jewls Well-Known Member

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    thats excatly how i feel too... its going to be a surprise anyway and i will still look forward to finding out what she/he looks like.... :thumbup:
     
  9. Finsmummy

    Finsmummy Mum to 2 boys

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    Very true!
     
  10. kitty27

    kitty27 Well-Known Member

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    We have decided not to find out as it's our first we really don't mind! I'm hoping it might give me something to focus on during the birth!! :haha: I don't think I will bond any less with my baby though. :flower:
     
  11. aley28

    aley28 2 boys & a girl <3

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    I am not finding out. At first it was because I wanted a bit surprise, but I hate it when people assume we're doing something in a certain way, and so far just about everybody I know has asked when we find out the sex. So the desire to want to drive them as crazy as they are driving me is also there. :haha:

    Plus, everybody in my family keeps telling me they hope its a girl. I already suspect its another boy, and I am perfectly fine with that. But I think if it is a boy and they see his beautiful little face when we tell them that, there'll be a smaller chance for them to be disappointed. Plus I think I'll be less likely to tolerate any voiced disappointment from people after the baby is born.
     
  12. want2bmum11

    want2bmum11 Mummy to 1 DS

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    We're going to find out, but not going to tell anybody the names we pick in case we change we change our mind!! And I agree with Ostara - giving birth is enough of a surprise for me! Not to mention actually having the baby - in real life - to hold. xx
     
  13. seoj

    seoj Our family of four...

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    Personally, I HAD to know... lol. There was just no way I could have waited... even though before I got pregnant, I thought it would be a nice surprise at the end. But honestly, it's a nice surprise regardless... and now I can decorate the nursery with pinks and buy girly clothes and call my baby her or she and for me, I love the bond that comes with that. But I have friends who waited to find out and they were SO glad they did- as how many times in life will you get such a surprise at such an amazing moment??? So I get both sides. lol.

    I know, I know... I'm no help huh? Just do what feels right for you hun. No matter what decision you make, your gonna be happy and surprised and love this little baby so much.

    Best of luck!
     
  14. Finsmummy

    Finsmummy Mum to 2 boys

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    Thanks girls. I just think we are lucky to have a choice hey?! My mum never did and she had 4 babies :) We expect so much these days. Part of me wants to go with nature x
     
  15. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    We didn't find out and it was soooo amazing waiting and finding out on the day. There is definitely something special about waiting. It is a surprise finding out on the scan, but the anticipation of getting everything ready without knowing really makes a difference. And OH at the end jumping up and down yelling "we have a son!" OMG amazing... :cloud9:

    With this one we will find out, but because we want to prepare my son as much as possible for his new brother/sister - refer to them daily by name, etc.
     
  16. littlemiss83

    littlemiss83 Mum of 2

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    I'm facing the same dilema, i've got my 20wk scan on Monday and I dunno wether to find out the sex or not. We didn't with first and OH doesn't want to with this one though, but I keep asking incase he's changed his mind and last night he said he doesn't mind if we find out or not. I dont know how I feel, i'm half and half, want to know so i can organise certain things and dont so that we have a suprise.

    :dohh:
     
  17. Finsmummy

    Finsmummy Mum to 2 boys

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    To those of you keeping a secret - have you told people you know or are you pretending you don't? x
     
  18. berniegroves

    berniegroves A daughter and a son

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    Hi,
    I have the 20 week scan on Friday and we really want to know the sex. Although i am betting that the baby will have its legs crossed!! lol!

    I always knew that i'd want to find out, i just love planning and preparing and find so much excitement in that type of thing and i just feel that i'll be able to prepare better if i know. But that is just me, i know everyone is different and i totally respect people who wait for the surprise.

    It does annoy me though that one of my friends waited to find out until the birth with her two and now she keeps going on at me that i'm not supposed to find out at the scan and it isn't allowed and she thinks we are wrong for wanting to know etc etc etc!
    I personally don't think there is a wrong or a right way, it is just whatever suits you and OH.

    It is sooooo exciting either way!!! :)

    x
     
  19. sallymuffin

    sallymuffin Well-Known Member

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    We were very undecided about finding out, I wanted a surprise but OH wanted to know. In the end we decided that we would find out but keep it between the 2 of us so that we could phone everyone up after the birth and say "it's a (boy or girl)".

    Anyway when the scan time came she couldn't see what it was due to the position of the baby so it was obviously meant to be kept as a surprise and I am glad now that it is as it's making the wait more exciting - and I'm really looking forward to my OH being the one who tells me whether it's a boy or girl (we think this will be a special moment for him).
     
  20. littlemiss83

    littlemiss83 Mum of 2

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    Thats me had my scan now, was offered to find out the sex but refused, kind of felt bad in a way, It was hard to refuse. I'm gonna be driving myself mad wondering which it is.
     

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