Struggling to like our unborn son's name

[cherrylips100]

Getting to name your baby is something special you'll only get to do a few times in your life, it would be a shame to feel any disappointment over it. Some things are more important than tradition.

 

[mummytobe_93]

I understand you're honouring tradition but you can't make yourself like a name. Either you come up with a nickname you like eg George for Gerald or David, David for David or you change the middle name or use two.
Have you told your OH that this is bothering you and you really aren't in love with the name? You have to live with this for the rest of your life and it may become a bigger problem down the line if you don't sort it now x

 

[pippi_89]

I do understand the tradition of the Gerald bit but I don't entirely understand why you can't compromise on David. If it 'needs' to be a family name why not draw up a list of all the men in you families and use one you can both live with?! Or at least to have as a standby.

Having said that, OH set his heart on Isabella for dd#1 from the beginning. I really wasn't sure but couldn't bring myself to take it away from him. It ended up being the most perfect name we could have chosen!

You never know, David might really suit him once you meet him!

 

[JumpingIn]

This is the biggest thing to ever happen in your life, aside from the births of any other children you have. I can't fathom such a massive decision being left to one of you alone. You have to raise this child to adulthood and continue to call him by name even after that. Why would you ever settle for something you don't really like? Seriously, have you thought through exactly how this will feel?

If it's not sitting right at this stage, I would totally change it. Honour the Gerald thing, fine, but don't have even a middle name you're not crazy about. Choose something you love!

 

[TwilightAgain]

I'd not stand for that at all. It's nice that they have a tradition but this is your baby (the both of you) so you should be able to name him what you like without the pressure of tradition. Personally i'd call him what you like and go with Gerard as a middle name.

 

[ToughhGal]

I agree you shouldn't settle. I found out I am having a girl. OH picked the first name and I picked the middle name (making sure it flowed with the last name). You need to be happy about this too. This is one of the fun parts of pregnancy IMO.

 

[stellaluna431]

I wouldn't do it, but since you are ok with honoring the tradition then i suggest searching the family trees on both sides to pick a name you at least like, rather than David.

There has to be a name (first or middle) somewhere in the family that you like! Or maybe a family surname that may work as a middle name that you can use, and call your son by - like Clark or Miles or Miller. My friend's maiden name was Mitchell and then she named her son Mitchell - i love when it works out this way!

I'm sorry that i don't have a suggestion on how you can learn to love a name that you don't like! I say keep your word, honor the tradition, but keep searching for a choice you like more!

This. I do genealogy, and if my H gave me a stipulation like this, you'd better believe I'd be scouring the ancestry for something I loved.

 

[mh_ccl]

My FIL told us when I was pregnant that if the baby was a boy, we'd have to give it a certain middle name because it was a family name. Thankfully, we had a daughter. I didn't relish the idea of telling him that the only family name the baby was getting was the last name.

DH and I agreed on our daughter's first name (which I came up with) but did not agree on a middle name. It took us a few days to reach a compromise we were both happy with. Bottom line: you both have to be happy with the name. If you're OK using Gerald and calling your soon by his middle name, then you both have to agree on the middle name.

 

[NotNic]

Both names don't feel very current and personally I can't imagine a baby David or Gerald. I understand to some extent your pain. My oh insisted we honour the tradition of the 1st son's middle name matching the father's name. I like my OH's name but it just does not work as a middle name. I suggested we use his middle name instead or a variation of his 1st name. We then agreed that we carried his middle name down instead and oh loves it. Would your father's middle name work or is there a masculine version of your mother's name?

 

[fides]

We agreed before we were even married that he would get to choose the first born son's name and being able to use a middle name instead of the first name is my compromise.

awww, bless you for sticking to something you both agreed on before marriage! that's amazing and i do admire that!

like others have suggested, is David the only option in the family tree that you can go with? If it is, do you like the nickname Davy?

i do hope your son's name will grow on you so that you can love his name!

 

[bubblz82]

No advice, but I feel your pain....

If baby is a boy, his name must begin with J and middle name Lee. Family tradition for many generations now..I think our son would be 4th or 5th...

My husband has the only J name I like- Jason. I am yet to find a single J name I can stand. I want to honor Hubbys family, but also dont want to cringe at my sons name!

I love the name Jason Lee. I have a friends son with this name

 

[LoveCakes]

I like the idea of two middle names. It ticks the boxes but you get what you want.

Personally I think your oh is being unreasonable but if your comfortable with the reason that's between you.

How about picking a nickname and using it so much people forget their real name. It does happen!

 

[MommyFirefly]

If you're okay with honoring the tradition, then that's fine. But I don't see how you can convince yourself to be able to live with a name that you truly don't love. I don't know if it's possible. Surely there are other family names that you would prefer! However, your LO may surprise you. He might come out looking like the name was made perfectly for him. Just talk to your OH. Let him know that you don't love the name.

 

[PDReggie]

I see no problem with keeping a tradition for your husband and yet calling your little one by his middle name. I have more than one male friend who go by middle names. Another thing, not sure how obsessed you are with calling him by a middle name, but I have a friend who is a third and he goes by Tripp. For the third. It's was a good way to honor the family name but also still have a fun time with the name and not have three people called the same thing. Good luck.

 

[AngelofTroy]

I like David it's actually my OH's name. I think it's a good strong name. I agree that Davey is cute for a baby.