Struggling with nights......

[WelshGirl]

Hi......I posted this in Postnatal too, but thought I'd put it here too as I'm really getting desperate for some advice....

During the day, Olivia is generally really good.......she'll feed every 3 - 4 hours, and as she is still so small, we let her sleep when she needs to. When she's awake, we try to 'play' with her & talk to her & stuff.

But nights are awful.......she generally won't go down until midnight (ish), then will wake at around 3am for a feed.........the problem is getting her back down after this. Most nights, we're up for 3 hours with her, and she just cries & cries & cries. Sometimes we're up so long with her that we have to feed her twice. And then she will generally only go back off to sleep with one of us holding & cuddling her - is this a really bad habit to get into with her??

At the moment, I have my OH to help, but once he is back at work, all the night-time stuff will be down to me. For the last 2 nights, I have been in tears myself as I just don't know what to do with her............I wind her really well, I change her, I try to keep the room dark & not talk to her too much.........where am I going wrong?? I'm really dreading when OH goes back to work, as I know I'm going to struggle even more.

What am I doing wrong?? Does anyone have any advice?? Thanks.

xxx

 

[KarenLV]

Your not doing anything wrong. That is how newborns are! They wake up frequently and cry a lot. The first 3 months are the hardest,then it gets easier. Welcome to Motherhood and exhaustion! Good luck!

 

[MoonMuffin]

They can't form habits until 3+ months old, so if falling asleep in your lap works, then go for it! It's impossible for them to be spoiled when they are so young. The first 3 months are really tough, but it gets so much better! Also when she naps during the day, try to do the same if you can. I didn't follow that piece of advice but wish I had. And finally, at night I know it's hard but try not to get impatient or frustrated, babies pick up on that and it makes it much harder to put them down.

p.s. Are you swaddling your LO? If not it makes a huge difference! It still helps my LO stay asleep.

 

[Jemima]

Aw, it's not you...it's just babies! You are not doing anything wrong. I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling as there were nights when I cried and it's awful when you don't know what's wrong with them.

If she is crying a lot through the night she may be suffering from colic? Could you talk to your Health Visitor about some medication for it?

I always found that swaddling them and holding them tight whilst patting and shushing does the trick in settling them down. Or how about a warm bath? Doesn't matter if it's the middle of the night, it could calm her down.

Just try to remember that it will pass. I know it's easy for me to say now but it's true. I'm sure by the time your OH goes back to work things will have improved slightly and you will become more able to deal with it as well.

Good luck. x

 

[alice&bump]

we used to make sure katie was awake from 8pm so she'd sleep at night, but as someone else said its just what newborns are like, if she needs a cuddle to sleep, give her one. i fed katie to sleep for the first few weeks and it hasnt affected her leeping, she now goes to sleep herself really well xx

 

[Vickie]

You aren't doing anything wrong, that's just a newborn for you. The others have all made some good suggestions. Try them out and see what works best for you and your LO

 

[xCherylx]

I agree, newborns are like this. For the first few months Jack rarely slept out of our bed because he just would not settle in his moses basket for more than a few hours. We then tried swaddling which worked wonders What got me through was thinking that this is another night closer to him sleeping through