struggling.

[Kaila]

i'm really struggling with everything.

Izzy is doing well, couldnt ask for anything more. She's no longer got her feeding tube, and is taking bottles. She's put weight on shes now 4lbs.

i'm just struggling coping, i'm drained from going to and from the hospital. but its worth it. i refuse to miss a day seeing my daughter. OH isnt helping at all lately, cant talk to him anymore, he's changed, lashes out punching walls and throws things. He's been upset lately as his dad passed away in November last year and its his dads bday tomorrow, i understand that, but he takes it all out on me.

I've spent most of the day crying, i just cant handle anything today.

 

[SisterRose]

big x

 

[vermeil]

*huugs* it`s normal, I also have days where I feel in the pit of despair, useless, and can`t get anything done except cry and mope around...even if my little one is doing much better now. Just remember the days, weeks, months of stress, worry, grief piled up over and over, that we just don`t have time to cope with. It seems it`s when our little miracles start going better that we feel able and allowed to let some of that pent up emotion out. Just take it easy, take good care of yourself, find an ear to talk to hmm? and our DHs deal with this differently - not sure what to tell you for that except he`s grieving too

 

[Anna_due Dec]

i hope you feel better soon. It's certainly tough and having anything else to deal with just isn't fair. i'm sure there's happier times ahead..chin up

 

[katy1310]

Awww, hugs. I can kind of understand what you are going through - DH lost his mum a year ago and all the grief and anger has only just come out now although with him what made it worse was seeing my mum with Sophie, also seeing his dad and new partner with Sophie when it should be his mum and dad.

He has been really angry and stressed lately and even though it's not been meant at me, I'm the only one here so sometimes he does seem like he is taking it out on me. He has been to the dr though and got anti depressants. The doctor told him that it can take a big thing like a baby, an anniversary, a birthday etc to make the grief come to the surface.

When we were getting well through our time in neonatal that's when I started to feel like an emotional wreck. I coped so well when Sophie was in ICU but it was after she was in HDU and Special Care that I got more stressed out and emotional.

xxxx

 

[pink.crazy]

I can't offer advice here as I'm pretty much in the same boat.. LO's now 3 weeks old and I thought by this point I'd be finding it easier... but I seem to just blub all the time and feel like there's no lght at the end of the tunnel. I'm sorry things are difficult with OH at the moment, grief is such a long drawn out process and tough on everyone involved

 

[cat81]

I know just how you feel and am sending you lots of big hugs. My baby was born last Tuesday at 33+5 and is currently in neonatal. Physically I'm fine but emotionally I am finding it so hard to hold things together. I cant speak to any of my friends because I just keep bursting into tears whenever I talk about things. My little Thomas is doing really well and making good progress but it just breaks my heart to have to leave him at the hospital every night and go home to an empty house. x