Stuck in a all night feeding rut, help!

[Mrsb3]

My lo feeds all night long in our bed- it all started when my husband complained she is going to wake up her bother who is 16 month old up every time she makes a noise in her cot. She is 4 month old and is probably trying to self sooth a little louder than everyone else can appreciate. Anyway every hour or so I have to put my boob in her mouth to get her back to sleep so she is in our bed pretty much feeding all.night.long. Which means 2-3 nappy changes through the night and I go downstairs to do that because she cries because I've woke her up doing it. Another factor is through the day I'm busy with my 16 month old rubbing around after him sorting his meals getting hi ready getting out the door etc.. That she ends up feeding every hour for just 5 mins it's just too noisy for her and too much going off ! My 16 month old is always charging around screeching and bashing things!! I'm desperate to get out of this rut but have no idea where to start!! Help

 

[Marythefairy]

I don't have any particular advice but I feel your pain. My 8 month old is doing the same still now. I don't change her bum at night though unless she poops as it disturbs her too much so she usually just has 1 nappy all night. I did try feeding in a sling during the day but never really got the hang of it. Can anyoneh help u with your eldest so u can rest or try and get a decent feed in during the day. Hugs

 

[Mrsb3]

Thank you for your reply. I have trident changing her but she ends up with a wet bottom, usually just the vest) but it still bothers her as she she is extra wrigley all night! Last night I changed her just the once and her nappy was packed to the max it was about 3am. The next time I changed her was at 7 when she woke up properly and again it was just as full as the last one! I think things will get easier once she is in her own room and on solids (hopefully)

 

[Maxy1]

Do you know why she keeps waking? Its unlikely that she is hungry every time, so she is just comfort nursing.

LO1 used to wake all the time because he hated sleeping in the bassinet in the same room as us. As soon as we moved him to his own cot and room at 4 weeks old he stopped waking so often and we all finally got some sleep. LO2 was the opposite and slept way better in a bassinet in our room.

I assume your LO's are sharing a room? Can you set the cot up in the lounge for a few nights and see how she sleeps by herself?

I snuggled in and fed both my LO's for an hour before their bed time and found this worked quite well. Depending on your parenting philosophy you could try a pacifier or introducing her to her thumb. You could try pick up/put down method, or Controlled crying.

 

[Mrsb3]

Yes it could be that she wants her own space because within 10 mins of us coming to bed (she sleeps in our room) just as we are getting comfy she wakes up! Evan though we are super quiet. Would love to so controlled crying but it will wake our 16 month old up! And my husband would have to get him back to sleep again which isn't really fair since he has to function the next day for work. I'm starting solids next month and she is going in her own room at 10 months when we move to a bigger place. It's just the case of sticking it out until then I think.

 

[J22]

My advise would be not to rush starting solids so young. This will very unlikely change the night wakenings anyway as the wakenings are more often than not for comfort, and she has easy access as you are right beside her. Is your 18 month old in your room too or a separate bedroom?

If on the other hand, you do feel you're not getting long enough feeds in for her during the day maybe you can distract your 18 month for a while with something while you sit on the sofa and feed with him there, or he can cuddle up with you both too. Can you fit any extra longer (more regular) feeds in running up to bedtime (when your OH is home, or your eldest is already in bed)?

She's still very young though and will go through phases of regular (comfort) feeds. My dd is 14 months and has always slept in her own cot beside our bed and we've just come out of 3.5 months of 6+ feeds a night. This isn't to discourage you, it's just to say there will be many phases like this when they go through leaps. When my dd turned 4 months we hit the sleep regression stage which could be your case - we went 7 solid weeks of feeding every 1-2 hrs every single night, so it could also be this.

 

[Mrsb3]

My eldest baby is in his own room and we don't hear a peep from him for 11-12 hours (unless teething or has an illness) I did actually formula feed him and although it took a lot of rocking and singing every night to get him to sleep - he did actually stay asleep for at least 8 hours at 4 month

It's bit a phase she is going through she has always been like this. The longest she has ever gone without a feed is 3 hours and that was of late.. But after that initial wake up it's every hour through the night and like I say it's always been this way!

 

[Maxy1]

Maybe try offering a bottle of water for her to drink instead and see if that deters her from waking. I mean if she isn't going to get the good stuff she might just sleep through. Is your other LO a light sleeper? Our toddler sleeps through EVERYTHING. Its nuts what he will sleep through

It doesn't really sound like food is the problem. I would hold off doing that unless your dr has advised you to do so. I think she is just seeking comfort.

 

[annio84]

Am i right in saying your husband wants you to feed her at every slight noise which is why you've started feeding so much at night? If so you need to tell him that while his sleep is important, so is yours since you are looking after two children, and for that matter so is your baby's. Has she ever actually woken your older child? If this is all down to worry about her being noisy I wouldtry giving her a few minutes to settle and not going straight in with the boob. My LO will always take the boob at night even if she's not hungry butif it's not offered can settle without.

If you think she is waking hungry then I advise trying to find some way to keep your older child distracted so she can get a longer feed. Maybe ask him to read a book with you while you feed or something.

Hope this helps.

 

[Mrsb3]

No my husband is very supportive but I personally think it would be unfair of me to let her make noise in our room keeping him awake and risking waking our other baby up so I have just been feeding her to keep her quiet I suppose. It works but like i say she keeps expecting it to get back to sleep and it's tiring feeding every hour through the night. If I was to just hold and rock her I would have to go downstairs to do it so she won't wake everybody up. I know this stage won't last forever and I know once she is in get own room I can just creep in their and hush her back to sleep but that's 5-6 months away and was hoping for a quick fix for now. I am going to try the down stairs thing when I think she is waking for comfort and not actually hungry and see how that goes on - that way she might not keep waking if she thinks she isn't going to get boob every time. Thank you everyone for your replays

 

[Dinah93]

I have a baby and a 2 year old, he screams his head off in our room while I change him and warm his milk but our 2 year old in the next room has never woken yet. If he tolerates it I'll use a dummy but usually he won't take it. He sleeps beside us, hubby woke up the first few nights when he cried but now he just sleeps straight through. My husband works 12 hour shifts 5 or 6 days a week, so I am mindful of him needing his sleep, however I also know when our little boy first came home and was waking hourly or 2 hourly I was cracking up and I didn't feel like I could cope and even the slightest problems lead to tears. Now he lets me sleep in on his day off as he tends to come in and go straight to bed, and that one day's recharge really helps. With DD he used to stay up and do her 11pm/midnight feed so I'd sleep from 9pm to about 2am and that really helped as well, you just need to find a way to get one block of sleep a night.

 

[Mrsb3]

Hi, thank you- my husband does let me have an extra hour or so in bed when he gets up at 6am with our older baby, say if I just got lo to sleep at 5 am I get till 7am to sleep sometimes it's 7.30 before hubby wakes me up which helps lots! I did change her once before in the bedroom and she cried very loudly (hubby not too pleased) lol which is understandable so I tend to change her closer to 4am and if i see her getting ready to scream I will stop changing her and feed her a little bit longer to calm her down or mostly I just go downstairs! Unfortunately hubby does not get a day off so im extra sensitive to his sleep need when it comes to the little baby, however when the oldest one is poorly he does step up and sort him out if he wakes during the night.

It's funny because since posting this our lo has been going 5 hours at night in between feeds! Can't believe it! With just one nappy change at 4am I feel great! Hope this lasts!!!

 

[Marythefairy]

That's great news so Pleased for you.

 

[Mrsb3]

Thank you

 

[misspriss]

I was going to suggest going up a size in diapers for at night, or adding another insert if you are doing cloth. It really does help at night not to have to change diapers! Glad to hear the nights are going better. 4 months is a huge growth spurt time, so it is natural for LOs to want to nurse more, even at night.