Stuck in Limbo

[ser523]

Hi Ladies

So I had a BFP in early/mid-December, then a week later on 12/18, I had bleeding and ended up having a CP. This was confirmed with 2 blood tests, which showed low HCG levels and dropping. Doctor said I should have AF as normal from the CP. Problem is, I've been on the pill since college, so quite a number of years now and I don't now what my normal cycle length is. DH and I have had unprotected sex a number of times since then. And now I feel like I'm in this terrible in between space. It's been four weeks since the first day of bleeding, which I've read you should count as the first day of cycle. No signs of AF - neither bleeding, nor cramping, which are my only typical symptoms. I've also taken a few HPTs but it's always a BFN. I'm trying to be on the lookout for early pregnancy symptoms, but I feel like I'm just imagining anything I notice. I really wish I would either get a BFP or that AF would just arrive already. I hate not knowing which direction we're going in, especially since I don't have a clear idea of when I should consider myself "late".

Anyone have any words of wisdom, or experience something similar? If you had a CP, when did AF come after?

 

[shellgirl]

Hi Ser,

First, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so awful. I had one in May of 2012 at 5w4d and I'm actually having one right now. Had a BFP last Monday, tests weren't getting darker, beta was low, and bleeding started today. I don't remember exactly how long it was from my first mc to AF exactly, but I do remember that that cycle was weird and I O'd really early. I want to say I got a positive OPK at CD8. Are you using OPK's or temping? I would start doing both because it will really help you get a handle on your cycles and know what to expect. I'm going to be on the lookout for early O this cycle since I know now that can happen. I also hear you can be extra fertile, so fxed that you get your rainbow very soon!

 

[Dill]

I'm sorry for your loss. Cycles can be a little wonky after a loss. My chemical shortened my cycles considerably, but bear in mind that it can have the opposite effect and stretch your cycle out by a week or more. The first cycle after a loss can be the strangest, because a lot depends on how quickly your body sheds the hCG from your pregnancy.

I have to agree with shellgirl -- it would be a good idea for you to start tracking your cycles. I use OPKs and calendaring, and decided to go ahead and get into temping and tracking CP and CM this cycle. It's a huge help.

 

[ser523]

Thanks for the replies, ladies. I really appreciate your responses.

Getting pregnant was sort of a surprise. We weren't trying, but we also weren't not trying. If that makes sense. I actually had implantation bleeding, which I mistook as AF before I took a HPT. I think that actually made it more shocking because we suspected we could be pregnant. Then we thought AF had arrived, then BFP, then CP. All in a week or so. Very whirlwind.

I haven't used any OKPs or done temping, I had thought to wait for AF to come and start figuring out my normal from there. As I mentioned, I've been on the pill for quite a while now, about 8 years I think and so I don't know what normal is for me! I hate being in this place of not knowing which way to think or even when I should take another HPT. Do you think I should temp/use OKPs even though I have no notion of where I am in my cycle/what's normal for me?

 

[Dill]

That's similar to my mc-before-last, so I get where you're coming from.

And yep! They'll help you to figure out where you're at and what is normal.